The Swinger's Next Door

She is a heteroflexible submissive Hotwife and Vixen.  He is a straight Bull and Stag and identifies as primarily Dominant.  Sometimes we play with others together as a couple, other times we play with others as individuals.  We have a significant collection of leather and latex clothing and accessories. Opening our marriage up to others was the best decision we ever made.  This blog features stories of our experiences, our fantasies and is an introduction to our lifestyle.  18+ NSFW

[theswingersnextdoor]

Post Removal :(

With the upcoming change to Tumblrs TOS regarding adult images, we’ve deleted almost 200 posts from our account in an effort to comply with the new rules. 

While we haven't posted in a while, we will be resuming shortly, but want to see what happens with our account first.

[theswingersnextdoor]

From Play to Pay - Part 1

Posted:  September 21, 2017 Author:  Mrs.

What happens when a lifestyle you’ve chosen to explore with your husband becomes a part time job?

My husband and I attended a private swingers party during the summer at a home in New York State.  We’ve been to a few parties hosted by this couple, and they have always been tasteful and classy.

During this most recent party, I was introduced a single gentleman, Chris, who has been widowed for a little more than two years.  Chris explained that he was not interested in starting a new long term relationship, and that his focus was on his kids and his job. 

Over the course of the next few hours, I played with a few guys and girls, but Chris was the one I ended up fucking that night.  At the end of the night, we exchanged phone numbers, promising each other we’d meet again.

About three weeks after the party, I received a text from Chris asking if we could meet over coffee.  I asked Mr. if it was okay to meet Chris, and he gave me the go ahead.

We met at a Dunkin in Paramus, NJ, which was half way between our homes.

The conversation started with basic about us type fluff.  It turns out Chris works as a software engineer for CNBC in Englewod Cliffs and has two kids in college.

Chris moved the conversation from basic to the reason he asked to meet.

Chris was apparently very pleased with our summer fling, and asked to have regular encounters.

Normally, this is a red flag to me, because it is a sign that someone is becoming attached, which is not what I am interested in.  But this wasn’t a normal request.

Chris offered me $500 cash for each “visit”. 

Now I’m saying to myself, holy shit, he wants me as his personal prostitute or escort.  I was a bit taken off guard by his offer and not sure what to do.  I didn’t immediately dismiss it, and I asked him what he was looking for.

Chris was well prepared to answer.  Here is what he required from me, in short form:

-  8 hours per visit, two visits a month -  I would be prohibited from having sex with anyone else, except my husband -  I would be required to fulfill his sexual fetishes and fantasies -  I would be required to accompany him to formal dinners and events

Okay, sounds reasonable right?  This sounds like I’m more of his escort than a prostitute.  But I had questions, specifically regarding his fetishes and fantasies.  I’m not willing to entertain something I absolutely despise or don’t enjoy, even for money. 

Plus, I’m in an open marriage for variety, and now I have to give up that option?

I asked for more details.

His fetishes and fantasies were more than reasonable, which was a relief.  Chris loves leather and latex.  WIN!

I already have quite the collection since my husband and I have the same interests.  Chris wanted me to wear leather mini skirts, leather pants and knee high boots in public.  Okay, twist my arm lol.

Chris wanted people to see what he was lucky to have.  He wanted to be part of the attention I was getting.  Like, damn, what a lucky guy to have that chick.

In private, he wanted me in full leather or in latex.

After the meeting, I returned home and talked to my husband about what Chris was looking for.  He was a bit surprised at the money being offered, but wasn’t completely against the idea.

To be continued....

[theswingersnextdoor]

Keeping Things Frisky and Fresh

The Swingers Next Door April 18, 2017

When we married in 2002, we were relatively vanilla as a couple.  Nothing we did was considered eccentric or overly bold.  We were your typical newlyweds focused on our marriage, careers and starting a family.

In our first few years of marriage, we dealt with miscarriages and two near death medical emergencies (literally near death).  When people who personally experience near death tragedies say it forever changed their outlook on life, they aren’t kidding.

After the birth of our son, intimacy between us on a regular basis essentially ceased.  We went from having sex 4-5 times a week to 2-3 times a month if we were lucky.  For us, intimacy was a big part of our relationship.  We both loved sex, but couldn’t get ourselves in the mood because sleep seemed more important. 

Clearly, we both needed to fulfill what was missing, and we needed desperately to get back into the game.  We agreed to designate one night a week as “adult time”, which was typically a Friday or Saturday night.  On those nights, my in-laws took our son overnight for some grandparents time.

Adult time quickly became play time.  In fact, it was during this time where both my husband and I admitted to each other our darkest, kinkiest secrets.  I’ll deduce that our secrets came out now because we were so sex deprived that we simply wanted to act out our craziest fantasies and because some of our interests certainly aren’t conventional, and we were afraid to admit them to each other.  

It was, however, some of those fantasies that got us where we are today.

Today we have an absolutely amazing marriage.  One that never disappoints, is far from mundane and one that is certainly not conventional.

And while 15 years of marriage is certainly something to celebrate,  we have a lot planned for our future.  

How we keep our marriage frisky and fresh  

We make time for us as a couple.  We frequently spend time camping and hiking, which forces us to spend time together and talk face to face. 

I make time for me as an individual.  It’s also just as important for you to have some time to yourself, to do things that you enjoy.

We cook together.  While we do eat out often, some of the best times we have together are when we cook and eat at home.  Food fights and kitchen counter sex are always an added plus.  

We keep things open.  Yes, that essentially refers to our marriage.  It’s no secret we both love sex.  Having the option to engage in sexual activity with others outside of our marriage essentially eliminates the temptation of cheating.

We get frisky with each other.  Just because we can have sex with others doesn’t mean we deprive each other of kinky sex.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  I’m more inclined to put on a leather corset, skirt and boots for my husband than I am for anyone else.  Your spouse should always be primary and deserves the very best from you.

We try new things and experiences.  I don’t care who you are, or how sexually active you are, there is always something new to try.  Short of it being illegal or morally wrong, don’t outright dismiss something you haven’t tried.  You never know.

We don’t stress about the stupid stuff.  We all have pet peeves and things that drive us crazy, but if it’s not something that is life altering, learn to let it go.  No one is perfect, and that includes you.

We enjoy alcohol.  Yes, I said it.  But let's face it, good times can become great times, and great times can become epic times with the help of a good bottle of wine (or beer in my husband's case).  But please don't overdue it or drive drunk.  It’s 2017 people, Uber or Lyft can get you home for cheap.  I’ll even pay your fare if you are leaving my house to make sure you don’t get behind the wheel.  

[theswingersnextdoor]

A Healthy Guide to an Open Marriage

On Saturday, March 4, 2017, we conducted a follow-up interview (read original interview here) with our friend Nicole, who is also a journalist for a local newspaper.

Hi guys, thank you again for allowing me the opportunity to openly discuss your relationship choices with others.  After our last interview, I did a fair amount of research, and hope I’m better prepared for today’s interview than I was for our first one.  

Let me start by saying that I’ve learned that the internet is full of stories and information on swinging and open marriages, but everything I read seems to lack a personal touch.  I wasn’t sure if what I was reading was simply erotic propaganda or honest stories from legitimate couples in alternative relationships.

First off, what made you guys first discuss swinging?

Initially, it was just a simple bedroom fantasy we talked about during the heat of the moment.  We eventually found ourselves talking about it over and over again, until one day my husband admitted that he was genuinely interested in watching me with other men.  Not long after, I admitted to him that I was equally as interested in watching him with other women.  

We spent the next several months discussing options, rules of play, the status of our current relationship and the negative effects something like this could have on our marriage.  We wanted to put everything on the table before we actually engaged in this activity.

I would think many people would be offended if their spouse made reference to wanting to watch them with someone else, no?

That’s probably true, Nicole, but my wife and I clearly aren’t your typical couple, and many couples are just like us.  You have to really know your spouse and their limits.  We consider ourselves sexually adventurous, and love trying new things, so it doesn’t surprise me we ended up where we are.

Can you guys tell me about your first encounter with another person or couple?

In March of 2009, we went to Atlantic City for a weekend away, which is something we do once or twice a year to get away from the daily grind.  I made dinner reservations at a fine Italian restaurant.  I remember this day vividly because of how she dressed for dinner; a short leather skirt, form-fitting top, and leather jacket. 

After dinner, she was fully expecting to go back to the hotel, except I had different plans.  I ended up taking her to Roleplay Lounge, a swingers club in Atlantic City.

We felt pretty out of place and ended up meeting another couple who seemed as nervous as we were.  To make a long story short, the other couple invited us back to their hotel room, which we accepted.  

After a night of drinking, we ended up at their hotel room.  Eventually, one thing led to another and we ended up in a full-blown, full swap foursome.

How were you guys after the fact?  Any regrets?

Not one.  This is something we did as a couple, which, in my opinion, made it way more exciting.  One thing we talked about early on was to discuss any extramarital encounter.  This was no different.  When we got back to our hotel room, we talked about what had happened.  

So what happens next?

After our first encounter, we both agreed that we wanted to do it again.  We created a profile on a popular swingers website and over time have been with several other couples.

Up to now, you guys have been with other couples.  At what point did this change?

I'm not sure exactly when it changed, but I know we had been talking about being able to sleep with other people on our own terms after swinging with other couples.

I do know that my husband's friend Adam was the first person I slept with without my husband physically being part of it.  It was after a Superbowl party, and with my husband's consent.  

Adam eventually became someone I would sleep with on a regular basis until he got possessive and I cut things off.

Despite the separation with Adam, it was at this point where my husband and I discussed and agreed on an ethical non-monogamous marriage.  We both agreed that it wasn’t fair to prohibit the other person from having sex with others, as long as it was for physical pleasure only.

How do you guys currently see your marriage?

Stronger than ever.  Our current situation, while dismissed by many, works for us.  We tell each other everything, and by everything, I mean EVERYTHING.  From the very beginning, we agreed that communication is essential.  So many relationships end in divorce because someone is caught cheating.  I don’t care who you are, at some point in your marriage, you will be enticed to become physically involved with someone other than your spouse.

What would you say to couples considering an open marriage?

Most importantly, don’t lie to each other and don’t sugarcoat your interests.  The only way this type of relationship will work is if both people are on board.

As soon as someone gets caught in a lie, any contact with someone other than your spouse from that point forward will be considered suspicious.

If you can’t openly tell your spouse you are sleeping with someone else, then you are cheating, and all rules that normally apply to swinging are out the window and you are on your own.

Agreeing to permit your spouse to sleep with other people isn’t easy, nor should it be.  It can be an emotional rollercoaster.  Swinging isn’t something that just happens without forethought.  Couples must be secure in their relationship and be willing to discuss their extramarital encounter with each other. 

You guys have had an open marriage for several years.  What’s your secret to maintaining a healthy relationship with each other?

First and foremost, we made it very clear to each other that our marriage and family come first.  While we do have an open marriage, we remain emotionally faithful to each other.  

We also have rules about how much time we can spend with others outside of our marriage.  If we vacation as a family, we stick together as a family.  There are no extramarital encounters during trips or vacations.  

Our wedding rings always stay on our fingers.  We don’t hide the fact that we are married.  There are subtle clues we do to let others know we are available for extramarital encounters.  For example, when I (the Mrs) go out with friends, I’ll wear my wedding ring, but may also wear a specific anklet on my leg or a thumb ring on my hand.  Those are clues to others that I’m available.

We are honest, even when it hurts.  Truth be told, there may be a time when you have a physical encounter with someone that ends up being better than anything you’ve ever done with your spouse.  It’s okay to talk about this between each other because a couple in a healthy open marriage will take this encounter, embrace it and even try to mimic it between themselves to enhance their own sex lives.

Know when to cut things off.  There are several reasons an extramarital encounter will be terminated.  The most common are when the one person begins to exhibit signs of an emotional bond.  Again, we are here to have sex, not start a new relationship.  Other reasons include harassment, stalking and a refusal to accept our terms of the encounter.

Saying I love you.  Remember, this is an agreement between the two of you.  Saying I love you as much as possible goes a long way, and it's not something we say to anyone else, besides our kids.  It's a gentle reminder that while we may have sex with others, we belong with each other.

Is there anything else you want to add that we didn’t discuss?

This is a huge decision that must be discussed in detail between those involved.  Don’t be stupid about it.  This decision can either be a marriage killer or marriage enhancer.

And please practice safe sex.  STI’s and/or unplanned pregnancy can be real fun killers.

Respect each other’s choices.  There may come a time when one of you is no longer interested in an open lifestyle.  This decision should not be viewed as negative, and the other partner should respect that decision, and be prepared him or herself to also cease extramarital activities.

We are not your average married couple. We are full swap swingers. These are our stories, our fantasies and an introduction to our lifestyle.

We are The Swingers Next Door

[theswingersnextdoor]

How to Have an Open Relationship without Killing your Marriage

An open relationship can work if you set some ground rules.

1. Put it all out on the table.

If you’ve been curious about making your relationship open, the first and most important thing to do is talk it over with your partner. Sit down at an appropriate time when both of you are calm and have plenty of time to chat. Be sensitive bringing it up, but be clear and honest with your emotions. Explain why this is something you’d like to try. If they agree, you can take the next step. If not, talk about other ways to evolve your monogamous relationship.

2. Set some ground rules.

The rules couples put in place for their open relationships vary greatly, but are all of equal importance. Once you are sure that you both want to go forward, sit down and make a list of boundaries that both of you are comfortable with. Write them down and talk out all of the details before going forward. While it’s important to be compromising in a relationship, this isn’t the place to bend-over backward. Make your opinions known and don’t hold back.

Here are some common rules people in open relationships use. But don’t follow these — do what's right for you. Each relationship is unique and it’s important to find what works for YOU.

Always practice safe sex outside the relationship.

No sex with mutual friends, or people that live nearby.

Sexual encounters must not interfere with the couple’s customary or planned time together.

Sex is permissible only when one partner is not available.

Extramarital sex is only allowed with advance agreement with one’s lover.

Extramarital sex is allowed only when both partners participate.

Extramarital sex is never permitted at home

3. Don’t be afraid to speak up.

If you make rules that don’t work and you feel unhappy, be sure to leave room for adjustment. No one said the rules had to be set in stone and it may take time to feel out what works best for your relationship. Be patient with each other and the fog will start to clear.

4. Decide what you're comfortable hearing about.

If you feel the need to spill every detail of your escapades but your partner would rather you keep that to yourself (or vice-versa), you need to discuss those boundaries that make you both comfortable. Ask for the details you want but before you even ask make sure you really want to know. Maybe you want to know who and when, but is it really necessary to know every detail? If you can handle it and it feels important to you then by all means, ask!

5. Take it one step at a time.

Start out slow. Consider first bringing someone else into your bedroom before you both go out on your own. Either way, be sure to have a frank discussion about each experience before proceeding full-steam ahead. If it felt right and you’re ready to move forward, you can now do so with more confidence. But if something went awry, identify the root of the problem and work it out before moving on.

6. Don’t cheat.

Unless your rules explicitly state that your partner wants to know nothing about who you sleep with, remember that cheating is still cheating, even in an open relationship. Holding back the details, even if it’s because you broke a rule and are worried you will hurt your partner, could cause greater problems going forward. Your open relationship only works because you have trust, and once that’s gone you have nothing.

7. Don’t force the issue.

If it isn’t working for one of you, it isn’t working for both. Whether this means adjusting your rules or stopping outside relations altogether, make the change that is going to make you comfortable. Open relationships do not work if only one person is happy. You may come to a point where you no longer need the open relationship or you may come to a point where you no longer want to stay in a committed relationship. Whatever your feelings, be open with them.

Open relationships are about working together to make your partnership exactly what you want it to be. If you're honest, communicate frequently and openly and use the tips above you'll go far.

[theswingersnextdoor]

Anyone on SLS?

To our followers out there, are any of you on SLS?  Would you be willing to share your screen name?

[theswingersnextdoor]

Anyone on FetLife?

To our followers out there, are any of you on FetLife? Would you be willing to share your screen name?

[theswingersnextdoor]

From the Mailroom

Follower: How do you not explode when you know your husband is out sleeping with other women?

Mrs: It wasn't easy at first, but you have to trust your significant other. Once he or she has proven him or herself, it becomes easier. It's about open communication and the ability to be able to remove the emotional attachment that typically is associated with having sex. If you are capable of putting emotions aside and looking at sex as a sport or simply as a fun activity, you'd be amazed at how much fun our lifestyle is.

[theswingersnextdoor]

On Friday, January 20, 2017, my wife and I arranged to be interviewed by a friend of ours who is a journalist for a small local newspaper.  We told her the interview was for a blog we host on Tumblr.  We also invited two other couples whom we’ve met through the scene to allow for different perspectives.  This 45 minute interview was digitally recorded and later edited to remove irrelevant conversation for the purposes of this blog.  We hope you enjoy it!

Good afternoon everyone, my name is Alyssa, and I’ve been asked by Matt and Barb to interview each of you to discuss your lifestyle choices, and to give people a glimpse into your lives as swingers.

Before we get started, please take a moment and introduce yourselves.

My name is Matt and this is my wife Barbara.  We’ve been married for about 15 years, have a son and have been swingers for around 5 or 6 years.

Hi Alyssa, my name is Amy and this is my husband Steve.  We’ve been married for 18 years, have three kids and have been swinging for almost 10 years.

My name is Nicole and this is my husband Mark.  We’ve been married for 3 years, have two dogs, no kids and started swinging when we met about 5 years ago.

Thank you everyone.  It’s a pleasure to meet some of you for the first time.  Before we get started, I want to admit that up until a week ago, I had no idea Matt and Barb were into this lifestyle.  While I’ve heard of swinging, it’s not something I’ve ever considered or looked into, so I’m pretty excited about this interview.

Matt and Barb, I’m going to start with you.  How did this all start?

Several years ago while we were being intimate, I whispered into Barbs ear that I wanted to watch her sleep with other men.  That’s always been a fantasy of mine.  After I told her, I wanted to smack myself, because what husband wants his wife to sleep with other men?  I was hoping that she realized I said it while full of testosterone and would simply brush it off.  A few weeks later, she told me the same thing, that she wanted to watch me with other women.  So we started looking online and eventually signed up on swinger websites.

Amy and Steve, how about you guys?

We had friends that we found out were swingers during a Superbowl party years ago.  My girlfriend Lisa let the cat out of the bag while we were snacking on food while the guys were watching the game.  I was initially a bit taken back, because I couldn’t understand the reasoning for anyone to want to sleep around while married.  After the party, I told my husband what Lisa and Trevor were into.  A few months later, Lisa and Trevor invited us to a private swingers party to observe and see how down to earth the lifestyle really is.  We agreed, and after that we entered the lifestyle ourselves.

Nicole and Mark, you’re up.

We met through a swingers website.  At the time, I was married to my now ex-husband Erik, who introduced me to the lifestyle.  During one of our encounters, we were introduced to my now husband Mark, who was on the website as single male seeking couples.  My previous marriage failed because my ex couldn’t respect the extramarital terms we set in place.  I caught him cheating and lying several times, which I wouldn’t tolerate.

Thank you everyone.  Now I’m going to ask each of you some questions I feel people who are unfamiliar with swinging would want to know.

How do you deal with jealousy?

Matt & Barb - We talk about it.  Jealousy is a normal human response.  It’s about how you control it that matters.  If both people are truly into swinging, and not just doing it to make their partner happy, there are rarely times where jealousy is an issue.  We do this because it’s fun, exciting and adds variety to our marriage.

Amy & Steve - Agreed.  Jealousy was an issue at first, but once we figured out how to deal with it, it was never an issue after that.  If jealousy remains an issue after a couple encounters, it may be time to reevaluate your lifestyle choices.

Nicole & Mark - It’s all about talking to each other.  If you can’t openly talk, even if its about something negative, then you are only hurting each other.  What I will say is that once you get a taste of the lifestyle, it’s difficult to leave.  If one partner chooses to back out while the other remains interested, you have yourself a recipe for marital disaster, unless as a couple you can agree to allow the person who remains interested to continue to engage in extramarital affairs..  

How frequently do you meet with other people?

Matt & Barb - Not as often as we would like, maybe 2 or 3 times a year on average.  Its not easy when you have a young child at home and have to work around your job.  We have to find an overnight babysitter when we have something planned where we don’t host at our home.

Amy & Steve - We aren’t too far off from Matt and Barb, maybe a few times a year for similar reasons.  Our oldest is 17 years old, so he is competent to watch the other two if we go out for a night on a weekend.

Nicole & Mark - We are pretty active.  We don’t have kids and have a few trusted regular couples that we play with.

Are you concerned about STD’s or pregnancy?

Matt & Barb - Absolutely!  Contraceptives are mandatory all around for the guys.  We also get tested once a year as a precaution.  If a guy refuses to wear a condom, it’s game over without even throwing out the first pitch.

Amy & Steve - Sure, those are legit concerns.  We also require that condoms be used.  Some people who have been active in the lifestyle for a while will actually produce lab results showing they recently tested clean.

Nicole & Mark - I would say we use some form of protection 75% of the time.  The other 25% of the time we don’t use them is when we are with a couple that we’ve been active with for a while and trust.  I’m on birth control, so pregnancy isn’t a concern for me.

What exactly is an ethical non-monogamy?

Matt - It’s basically an consensual agreement between everyone involved to explore love and sex outside your marriage.  There are several types of non-monogamous relationships.  Swinging is just one.  The other most common are Polyamory and Open Marriage 

Swingers generally enter the lifestyle for sex play and are not looking for a long term intimate relationships.  Swingers typically engage as a couple with other swingers during hotel parties, private events or at swingers clubs.

Polyamorists enter the lifestyle looking for multiple long term relationships, both intimate and sexual.

Open Marriage’s differ slightly from swinging in that a spouse is free to engage in extramarital sex with whomever he or she wants outside the marriage.

How does swinging benefit your marriage?

Matt & Barb - People will forever be curious.  This curiosity, for some, ends in a failed marriage.  Without going into the psychological reasons people cheat, there are simple reasons:  People love having sex and people love variety.  It’s easy to get bored doing the same thing over and over again.  Sex is no different.  If you have the ability to remove emotions from the equation, and look at sex as simply a physical activity, you’d be amazed at how much fun it is to be able to sleep with other people when your spouse knows what’s going on.  There’s no guilty feeling, no sneaking around and no watching your back.  You may also learn new things with other people that you can bring home and try with your spouse.  There’s always something new to learn.

Amy & Steve - Barb really covered it well.  Steve and I only swing, we don’t have an open marriage.  We both prefer to play with others alongside each other so we can watch.  Being able to watch each other is a huge turn on.  Swinging isn’t the only thing that benefits our marriage either.  We believe it’s important to stay frisky, so we’ll have sex chats with each other while we’re at work.  It’s not uncommon for one of us to admit we are wet or hard when we should be focusing on work.  

Nicole & Mark - It seems we are the only couple here that identify as polyamorists.  Both Steve and I have significant others that we love outside our marriage.  While this may seem a bit odd considering my issues with my ex, Steve and I have rules in place that we both follow.  Despite being married, there are nights or sometimes even days that we spend with our extramarital partners.  In fact, last year Mark and his girlfriend went on a long weekend trip to Florida together.  

How does one get started in the swinging lifestyle?

Nicole & Mark - The easiest way at first is to do it online.  There are several personals websites that cater to swingers.  If you are signing up for an online account, don’t be stupid about it.  Make sure both of you know about the account and that you each have access to it.  Your profile should be honest and detailed.  Let people know you are new and describe what you are looking for.  Two words of caution, you may inadvertently find out that someone you know is also on the site.  This may either be a good thing, or make you uncomfortable.  You should be mentally prepared to accept the fact that this lifestyle is more common that you think.  The other issue is catfishing, where people pretend to be someone they aren’t.  This is common across all social media platforms and dating sites.  If we are looking to meet new people through an online site, we require they video chat with us to verify the images they have on their online profile are really them.  If we are meeting a couple, we ask that both be part of the video chat.  This helps filter out the cheaters.

Any last comments?

Matt & Barb - Please don’t force the lifestyle on someone that isn’t 100% interested.  It’s not for everyone, and some try it once and never do it again.  There is nothing wrong with that.  If it’s forced, it’s no longer truly consensual, and that’s not what the lifestyle is about.

Amy & Steve - Watch for red flags.  This is a lifestyle where you and your spouse are aware of your extramarital activities.  If you start noticing behavioral changes, or significant changes from ones daily routine, he or she may be hiding something.  For people who can’t avoid the emotional aspect of sex, it’s easy for them to become intimately attached and slowly develop a relationship with another.  Unless you are a polyamorist like Nicole and Mark, this may put an undue strain on your marriage. 

Nicole & Mark - Have fun!  That’s really what this is about.  Take a deep breath and relax.  The first couple times are always stressful because you don’t know how you or your spouse is going to act and/or perform in an extramarital sex situation.  You are going to feel a variety of emotions you probably haven’t felt since your first high school boyfriend or girlfriend.  

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to answer my questions.  For someone unfamiliar with your lifestyle choices, this has been a real eye opener for me.  While I do not see myself personally engaging in this activity with my husband, I do plan on doing some research on your lifestyle because I’d like to do another interview, but be better educated and prepared next time.

We are not your average married couple. We are full swap swingers. These are our stories, our fantasies and an introduction to our lifestyle.

We are The Swingers Next Door

[theswingersnextdoor]

is there a tag that identifies/filters the images/posts that are from you directly, as opposed to those you have reposted from elsewhere?

Actually no, but that's a good idea. We'll start adding #tsndlife to our personal pics. Give us a couple days and we'll add it to our older posts as well.

[theswingersnextdoor]

Quick rear view pic of my wife.  We’re in Parsippany for her company NYE party and are meeting up with a couple we met on SLS afterwards.  

[theswingersnextdoor]

if you guys are serious and from around Atlantic City text us 6095769312

Sorry, but because you are submitting as “anonymous”, we wont reach out to you by text.  Do you have a SLS profile?

[theswingersnextdoor]

Cuckold vs. Cuckquean

The Swingers Next Door Guide to an Open Marriage is run by a husband/wife team from New Jersey active in the swinging lifestyle.  Although we are in no way experts, we have life experiences we share to assist those new to or who are considering the lifestyle.

If you’ve expressed an interest in swinging or an open marriage, you may have come across the term cuckold or “cucked”.

The traditional definition of cuckold refers to a husband of an adulterous wife.

The modern definition of cuckold is a sexual fetish in which you watch your partner having sex with another person but are unable to be a part of it.  While the term is generic, the term has specific meanings depending on the sex of the individual.

While there are at least three people involved in a cuck scenario, the husband or wife do not typically get physically involved while their spouse is being pleasured by another person.  They may sit off to the side and masturbate while watching or may also be having sex with someone other than their spouse at the same time, in the same room while watching each other.

So does being a cuck have a place in a relationship?

In the traditional sense, a male who identifies as a cuckold has a wife that cheated on him.  Depending on the couple, this may be a relationship killer and being a cuckold is not something positive.

However, as the modern definition explains, a spouse who identifies as a cuckold/cuckoquean has a husband/wife that is aware of the fetish and extramarital sex is mutually agreed upon between the couple.

Interestingly, psychologists regard cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.

While we may disagree with the humiliation part, we understand that one can become cuckolded for several reasons, including the inability to sexually satisfy their partner, for whatever reason.

For us, it’s about being able to satisfy our hunger for options.

We are not your average married couple. We are full swap swingers. These are our stories, our fantasies and an introduction to our lifestyle.

We are The Swingers Next Door

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Polyamory vs. Swinging

The Swingers Next Door Guide to an Open Marriage is run by a husband/wife team from New Jersey active in the swinging lifestyle.  Although we are in no way experts, we have life experiences we share to assist those new to or who are considering the lifestyle.

While there are several styles of an open marriage, each is based on the motive for participating in open marriage and on the nature of extramarital relationships.

Couples who prefer extramarital relationships emphasizing love and emotional involvement have a polyamorous style of open marriage.   Unlike the swingers community, polyamorists aren't in it just for the sex, they're in it also for the love.  Polyamory is about stable intimate, emotionally committed relationships rather than just casual sex.  

Couples who prefer extramarital relationships emphasizing sexual gratification and recreational friendships have a swinging style of open marriage.   In swinging, the intent is to engage in non-monogamous sexual behavior without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy between oneself and the secondary partners.

Despite their distinctions, however, all open marriages share common issues: the lack of social acceptance, the need to maintain the relationship as a couple, and the need to manage jealous rivalry. 

An open marriage requires both husband and wife communicate openly and effectively.  There can be no grey areas.  Everything must be clearly understood to avoid potential conflict down the road.

Mr and I are considered swingers, because we meet others to fulfill our physical and sexual needs, not our emotional ones.

We are not your average married couple. We are full swap swingers. These are our stories, our fantasies and an introduction to our lifestyle.

We are The Swingers Next Door

[theswingersnextdoor]

So someone stole my photo and added their own caption.  Normally I’d be pissed, but since the caption is EXACTLY why I wore this outfit, I’ll give them a free pass this time :)

We are not your average married couple. We are full swap swingers. These are our stories, our fantasies and an introduction to our lifestyle.

We are The Swingers Next Door

[theswingersnextdoor]

We just reached 1,000 followers! Thank you!

[theswingersnextdoor]

029 - Yay! Hate Mail!

Posted:  December 15, 2016 Author:  Mrs.

Oh the pathetic loser drama.  The haters are back, and I have to thank them for making me laugh this morning.  

While we do receive messages from people dismissing our lifestyle choices, most are simply voicing their opinions, and engage in respectful back and forth conversation that I don’t mind being a part of.

Every once in a while however, we get a fruit loop who sends us a message.

Take this morning’s message for example:

“You people is disgrace to the lord.  marriage is sacred between one man and one women.  the lady is prostitute and shall be condemned to hell for these actions.”

Okay, I could spend an hour making fun of the grammar issues here, but I have a feeling this comes from someone outside the US, and that’s the best English he/she could put together to get the point across.

Because I enjoy getting people fired up, I replied to the message.

“Thank you for messaging us.  To be clear, prostitutes make money for having sex with multiple people, usually to sustain a substance abuse addiction or to make extra cash to support a family.  I however, have sex with multiple people for free simply because I enjoy the feeling of dick.”

I wasn't sure if he/she understood what I said, but about two hours later, we got a reply.

“You going to hell for being whore.  I feel sympathy for the family of yours.  You can cleanse yourself with the lord and be free from evil and start new life.”

Ugh.  Seriously?  Here’s my response:

“Thank you for confirming my one way ticket to hell.  I’ve been on the wait list for about 35 years now.  But let’s get something straight.  First off, I don’t want to be free from your so called evil.  I enjoy my life and my lifestyle.  I wouldn’t change anything.  Second, your lord can’t fix shit.  How I live my life depends solely on decisions I make.  Lastly, I have to go, your dad just called me to find out if I’m available for a quickie later.

C’mon people.  If you don’t agree with something, then don’t go out of your way to look for it.  The only way you can find our blog is by searching specific tags.  I get that certain religions dismiss my choices, but you don’t see me posting on their blogs about how important it is to have multiple partners.

We are not your average married couple. We are full swap swingers. These are our stories, our fantasies and an introduction to our lifestyle.

We are The Swingers Next Door