"Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty?"
I think of this quote often. Why is it that having a preference when it comes to pursuing a romantic relationship if you're a woman, immediately shamed and 'debated' on whilst having a preference when you're a man is normalised and never ever questioned?
I look around me and see no man even entertaining the idea of pursuing a woman they do not find physically attractive but women are always penalized for having a preference, especially if it's financially motivated. Why is it bad for a woman to want financial stability?
Sure, if you find that inherently shallow, take the financial marker out of the equation. Some women have voiced they find 'being tall' an attractive physical trait in men. And how was that met? It was met with judgement and criticism (shocker) and yet again, was made a very 'controversial' thing to say. How is that any different from the many men voicing they find 'fit' women attractive (not disregarding the fact that what they mostly mean by fit is thin and toned).
Women are often shamed for having a preference, (which in reality is about having a choice, let's be honest here) and demonized for it whilst no one bats an eye at men for having the same. Women are often pressured to give 'chances' to people they're not physically attracted to, for sake of 'what if he has a great personality' and looked down upon for having the reason for rejecting someone being 'I don't find them attractive'. There's this unspoken expectation placed upon women to be accomodating and to not really exercise their choice in the matter. The men on the other hand, are never met with such pressure or expectations.
There's social conditioning at play here that's often overlooked because of the extend to which its normalized and an illusion of choice for women in general. Society accepts a woman having a choice as long as she doesn't exercise it.
Because the moment she does, she's the villain.