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So I've known that I've been gay for a while now, but I haven't told my parents yet. They're extreme Catholics and I'm not sure how to come out in front of them. I want them to accept me for who I am but I'm not sure that they can. Please help?

Check out the article that was just posted an hour ago, “Coming out to your parents.” I think this article is a good resource, since not only does it contain academic counsel but also real-life experiences. This article contains interviews from 6 different people who came out to their parents. Coming out to your parents is a different experience for every person. In the article it mentions how authoritative parents are more likely to be accepting. So basically, what this means it to assess what your parents are like. The main thing to consider is if you are safe. Safety is always important. If you feel like telling your parents will foster a dangerous environment– don’t rush into it.I hope this article can give you the courage to come out to your parents, and most importantly– support. In situations like this, its always nice to know that you’re not the only person who goes through things like this. I hope this helps!

Answered by: Aliyah Deiz

#sexuality

Coming out to your parents

Abstract: “Our aim was to gain an understanding of adolescents’ experiences of disclosing their sexual orientation as lesbian or gay to their parents. In order to capture these experiences, we conducted interviews with 6 people who had told at least 1 parent of their sexual orientation as lesbian or gay. Using interpretative phenomenological analysis we identified 4 themes from the emotions described by the respondents when they disclosed their sexual orientation to their parents. These 4 themes were feelings of alienation, uneasiness and fear, self-acceptance and being comfortable with one’s sexuality, and feeling whole. The conclusion we drew from the accounts of the people we interviewed is that disclosing one’s sexual orientation to one’s parents is liberating.”

“Findings reported in previous research have shown that parental reactions to their sons’ and daughters’ disclosure of gay or lesbian sexual orientation can differ depending on how parents raise their children and the kind of relationship they have with their offspring. In families with cohesion, adaptability, and authoritative parental styles disclosure is met with less negative reactions than in those characterized by disconnection, rigidity, and authoritarian styles (Willoughby et al., 2006). Savin-Williams and Dubé (1998) constructed a developmental model of parental reactions to their offspring’s disclosure of their homosexuality.”

References: Perrin-Wallqvist, R. (2015). Coming out as gay: a phenomenological study about adolescents disclosing their homosexuality to their parents. Retrieved from: http://dx.doi.org/10.2224/spb.2015.43.3.467

Posted by: Aliyah Deiz

#thetable13 #sexuality

Finally, a ketchup bottle for boys and girls.

Back in the day, gender stereotypes were so prevalent throughout society that they were used to sell products. These stereotypes since then have decreased in number, but due to how deeply some of them were engrained in society, a significant portion of these stereotypes still prevail.

Sexists speak with ideas from the past; telling such people they’re wrong would be getting them up to speed with the times.

#gender #table13

The first time I kissed a boy I was scared and confused, because I grew up in a Catholic family that looks down on homosexuality. Like many other gay or lesbian youth, I was scared of coming out in fear of rejection from my friends and family (Arnett, 2013, p. 264). This song, First Time He Kissed a Boy clearly illustrates how it feels to be “on a curvy road” of sexuality and the desire to keep “back the ghost inside.” The video reveals the sad truth that many gay and lesbian youth are faced with verbal and physical abuse for their sexual orientation and turn to substance abuse to deal with these issues (p. 264). If you are struggling in a situation like this, or know someone in this situation I suggest reading The Trevor Project’s guide Coming Out As You. This has information on different gender and sexual identities, and how to have an easier and healthier coming out process.

Reference: Arnett, J. J. (2013). Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood: A Cultural Approach (5th ed.). Pearson Education.

Posted by: Max Piercey

#thetable13 #sexuality

Hi, I'm 15 and I think I am bisexual. I'm a girl, but I've been weirdly attracted to another girl in my class. I've been having sexual thoughts about her and I'm not sure if this is normal??

First of all, I want you to know that it’s perfectly normal for you to be bicurious since you’re just beginning to build your identity and find out about yourself. Just because you’re curious doesn’t automatically make you a lesbian and there’s actually a lot more to the process than you would think.

Here’s a link where other people talk about their personal experiences about them being bicurious and how they acted on it :http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f6-sex-puberty/t5484-girls-how-many-you-bi-curious/

“ I could tell she was looking at me like I was some kind of pervert or like I chose to be the way I am. The hardest thing for me to accept was that this is who I am and I can't change that.”

Coming out to your parents when you’re religiously compromised can be extremely difficult. You have to be careful with what you say so as not to offend your parents or the people around you, but have to be affirmative because it’s who you are. To read a personal experience about someone who came out to his or her parents, refer to the following article.

https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/2u2901/i_came_out_as_bisexual_to_my_religious_parents/

posted by: Sue Lynn Pak

projectqueer

It takes great strength, courage, personal integrity and reptile thick skin to be true to oneself in the face of adversity, however even those of us with the thickest of skin can be pricked by a thorn or two from time to time.

For those of us traveling along the often lonely road outside of the gender norms created, taught, learned and transmitted in this world, there are a few things you can avoid doing in order to help smooth the path and alleviate some of the rough brush we encounter along the way.

CLICK THE HEADER LINK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE.

#thetable13 #gender #gendernonconforming

projectqueer

Ashley Innes gives her take on why black people continue to be more at-risk for HIV in the U.S.

The HIV epidemic has been plaguing our country for almost 35 years, and it has always disproportionately impacted marginalized communities. Today, African-Americans account for only 13 percent of the population but 43 percent of new HIV infections, the majority of those among gay and bisexual men and transgender women. The question is why? Why do black people carry the burden of this disease, especially when it didn’t start out that way? It’s not that African-Americans engage in riskier behavior; in fact, studies have shown they use condoms more and drugs less than their white counterparts.

There’s actually a confluence of factors that make HIV significantly more difficult to face and overcome in black communities. Here are just five of them.

#sexuality #hiv #thetable13

Talking to your parents about sex can be award and scary; many teens don’t know where to begin. The conversation can start anywhere at anytime, but if you feel like you are ready to become sexually active then it is crucial you get the conversation started ASAP. “Clear, open, and frequent communication is a basic characteristic of a strong, healthy family,” (pubs.ext.vt.edu) and also promotes safer sexual practices. So, what are you waiting for? Get talking! Check out this video for some tips and tricks on how to approach discussing this subject.

Source: Green, S., Peterson, R. (2009, May 10). Families First-Keys to Successful Family Functioning: Communication. Retrieved from: https://pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-092/350-092.htm

Posted By: Shannon Funderburk

#table13 #sexuality #thetalk

projectqueer

“We are not entitled to know or guess people's identity.”

Pronouns are a funny business. We use them constantly, effortlessly — “I read that book and it was delightful” or “Grandma babysat the Dingles and they made her cry!” But WHAT IF the way that we label people doesn’t fit the way they label themselves?

thetable13-blog

Posted by: Max Piercey

#thetable13 #gender

Break free - be who you are loudly, proudly, without apology.

Posted By: Shannon Funderburk

#table13 #identity #pride #gender

John Holmes created this painting for the book cover of Germaine Greer’s The Female Eunuch in 1970. This image is representative of the objectification of the female body in society as it portrays the female torso hung up for display. While this image was created in the early 1970′s, this view of the female body as an object for purchase in the consumerist market continues to create problems in our modern society, especially in young women. Calogero et al. did a study in 2005 that found evidence to suggest that viewing sexually objectifying images in media can cause self-objectification in women, which results in the drive for thinness seen in eating disorders (p.47). In other words, as girls at a young age internalize the beauty standards portrayed through media, many of them form eating disorders, like anorexia or bulimia, in order to strive for “unrealistic cultural body ideals” (p.48).

If you have an eating disorder or are struggling with your body image in any way, you are not in this fight alone. Talk to to your care-taker, teacher, or school counselor about what you are going through and ask for help. Hospital-based programs are usually the first step people take to receiving treatment for anorexia or bulimia. Family-based therapy has been found to be the best approach. To read more information on family-based treatment, visit MaudsleyParents.org. While this website is designed for parents, if gives helpful information on the signs and treatment of anorexia and bulimia.

Reference: Calogero, R. M., Davis, W. N., & Thompson, J. K. (2005). The role of self-objectification in the experience of women with eating disorders. Sex roles, 52(1-2), 43-50.

Posted by: Max Piercey

#thetable13 #gender

This comic strip is part of a graphic novel titled Yousef and Farhad was published in 2015 and brings light to the difficulty of being gay in Iran. The LGBTIQ human rights organization, OutRight Action International, created this beautifully illustrated novel in collaboration with the artists Amir Soltani and Khalil Bendib is hopes of brining more acceptance to the homosexuality community. As Yousef struggles to be with Farhad and people from other cultures, including the U.S., relate to his story, it becomes clear that homophobia is a global issue. To read the full novel, click the following link to download a free pdf: https://www.outrightinternational.org/sites/default/files/YandFFinal12182015LR.pdf

Reference: Sultan, Amir and Bendib, Khalil (2015). Yousef and Farhad: Struggling for Family Acceptance In Iran: The Story of Two Gay Men. New York, New York: OutRight Action International.

Posted By: Max Piercey

#thetable13 #sexuality

In this video, Laverne Cox tells us her story about her transgender identity. discusses her role as a transgender advocate and also shares to us what it’s like playing a transgender role on the show, Orange is the New Black.

posted by: Sue Lynn Pak

#thetable13 #gender

“Not Parked – Abandoned”