The Things You Can Do

I'm Maggie. Join me as I blog about life, food, and health. I'm currently on my own journey to a thinner and healthier lifestyle using the Weight Watchers PointsPlus program. I love getting to know people, so feel free to ask me anything! Weight lost so far: 35.2 pounds Current Fitness Goal: Go to Zumba every Tuesday; go to the gym at least 2 other times each week Current Weight Goal: Down 45 pounds by my 24th birthday in January Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, a nutritionist, or a weight or diet counselor. Anything written on this blog is written from my own personal experiences and what works for me. I am here for advice or encouragement, but if you're struggling, the real help should come from someone much more capable of it. That being said: please, if you need someone to talk to, I am always here. Just click ask above. The Starting Weight Directory

[thethingsyoucando]

Nothing spurs me into action more than a trip to a clothing store.

[thethingsyoucando]

Lost 1.4 pounds this week!

[thethingsyoucando]

I've been having severe digestion issues lately and last night my mom and I came to the conclusion that it MIGHT be lactose intolerance. I got severe cramps (and they felt way different from menstrual cramps, so don't be all "you're just getting your period") and was bloated and gassy. I had just eaten a Weight Watchers ice cream bar. And then I thought back to how recently whenever I've been drinking coffee, the same thing has been happening. I thought it was the coffee that was beginning to upset my stomach, but it could be dairy. Today was my first day avoiding all dairy products, and let me tell you that it is SO much more difficult than I thought it would be. I had no idea how many of the things I eat on a daily basis contain dairy. I ended up having just a bowl of fruit for lunch because everything I have that could have potentially been lunch material contained some sort of milk product. For dinner, my mom made a dish with sour cream, so I just had the baked chicken with rice. I'm going to do this all week and see if I feel better, then introduce dairy back into my diet and see if I experience any kind of stomach upset. If I do, off to the doctor I go!

[nnonstrous]

its sad how its more socially acceptable to hate your body than to love it

[thethingsyoucando]

Nothing incites me into action like a little competition.

My [best?] friend is way bigger than me and is also trying to lose weight.  Except she doesn't know I'm trying to lose weight because it's not really something I'm sharing with people.  But whatever.  Anyway, today, she spent all this time telling me about her progress (25 pounds) and her measurements and stuff, and I'm just sitting there nodding, all the time thinking, I'm gonna beat the hell out of this weight loss competition I've just established between us.

It's on, guys.  Like, I'm not even kidding.  She has no idea it's happening, but she and I are officially rivals in the M vs. M Weight Loss Smackdown of 2013.

(Root for me, guys, ok?)

[thethingsyoucando]

lol what do you think about that diet everyones talking about? i actually did it a few months ago and it works fast as shit. (no spaces) TUMBLR SUMMER DIET xDOTx COM

Ah, who doesn't love a good slice of spam every now and then?

[spoiledbabe-deactivated20130821]

It’s not healthy, it’s not “beautiful”, and it’s not acceptable.

Take care of your body. I’m tired of hearing people talking about “my curves are sexy: people need to learn to accept different body types.” First of all, there’s a difference between curves and ROLLS. ...

[thethingsyoucando]

Thank you for responding to this so eloquently.

[thethingsyoucando]

I'm stuck in a rut, and it's one that I've mentioned before.  For the past three months, I've been up and down with the same 3 pounds, and I'm getting so frustrated and exhausted with trying to battle all of this again and again.

I know it's me.  It's ALL me and my stubborn refusal not to eat some of the things I love because I love them too much not to eat them.  I know that I need to buckle down and get back that motivation I had when I started and in my first few months.  I've been doing this for 38 weeks and all I have to show for it is 29 pounds and clothing that seems to fit me the same way it did before.  It's 29 pounds that I would still have had I never begun, and it's 29 pounds that would probably have a few more friends, but 29 pounds seems like too few pounds now that I've dedicated myself to this.

I wish this was easier.  I wish the rest of my family cared that I'm trying to do this.  I wish that I could suggest healthy meals for dinner without being scoffed at.  I wish that I could motivate myself again.

I wish I wish I wish.

It's up to me.

[ihartbeat]

Cuz big butts rule…

[thethingsyoucando]

UGH I'M FAILING. My goal of 15 miles each week is a fantasy at this point. I didn't even get halfway there! Maybe I should remedy it to 10? Also, ignore the 17.3 hours because that is blatantly wrong. I accidentally put 15 hours instead of 15 minutes for my walk to work.

[thethingsyoucando]

Today's lunch.

[thethingsyoucando]

Blargh, ugh, and everything in between.

Honesty time, folks.  Shit's about to get rull up in hurr.

I'll admit that, most of the time, I try to paint a pretty picture about my weight loss journey.  Not because it's easy, not because it's been going perfectly, but because I like to stay positive about all of it.  It's so simple to have one bad day and hate myself for a week, or to feel like a failure when I gain some weight back.  When I know I can do better, small slip ups tend to feel okay, but when I feel as if I've been doing so well and then my body says, "Oh, hey, you gained two pounds, so you're welcome for that little gift as a thank you for feeding me some super good but super bad-for-you foods this week" -- well, those are the times that really, really suck.  The important part, however, is acknowledging that you made a mistake, accepting it, and starting fresh the next meal/day/weigh-in -- however you want to do it.

But you all know that.  It comes as no surprise for all of you when I say that nobody's perfect, we all mess up, and that it feels like complete shit when it happens, but that we need to keep going.  Yeah, yeah, same old story.  But that's not what I'm going to talk about today.

No, today you won't hear any attempts at inspiration.  I have no plans on making anyone out there who's struggling feel better about themselves.  Because sometimes we need to get real and finally admit to ourselves and the world THAT WE'RE FAILING OURSELVES.

That's me.  I'm failing myself.

You probably wouldn't be able to gauge how unhappy I am from this blog, but I am.  Every week, I see myself falling into the same traps.  I try to be better, and then the next day, I make another mistake, sometimes the same one.  I look at my stats and my weights from each week and I feel like crying.  I weigh three pounds more now than I did two months ago.  In ten weeks, I have lost and gained those three pounds, and my chart looks like bunny hops on a roller coaster.  It's upsetting and makes me so angry.  Why can't I just do it?  Why can't I just eat well every single day?  Why do I always have those days when I tell myself it doesn't matter?

I'll continue to ask myself these questions for the rest of my life, I'm sure, which is daunting and overwhelming and makes me question everything.  It's a constant struggle, and weight will be the one thing that's always on my mind.  I'm constantly overrun with thoughts of my appearance and my weight and I'm so anxious all the time about how I'm not succeeding, and I WANT IT TO STOP.  But it will NEVER stop.

I'm so overwhelmed, so lacking in motivation, so angry with myself.  I need a time out.

But a time out is that last thing I need.

[thethingsyoucando]

Now that I have a job (oh, did I not mention that I have a job!), I can no longer go to my usual Weight Watchers meetings on Saturday mornings, so I'm going to start going to another one on Thursday mornings at a different location with a different leader.  I went to this particular meeting once back in March and I really liked the leader, Suzanne, so now that I can go to her meeting, I'm definitely going to do that.

After the meeting was over, I was sticking around for a refresher of the Spaces PowerStart session (those of you not on Weight Watchers have no idea what this is, but it really has nothing to do with the story, so hang in there), and since she was talking to someone else, I hung back and stayed in my seat.  Finally, she came over, sat down in a chair near me, and just said, "So, tell me about yourself."

Now, I normally hate this question because it's so vague, but here there was context.  So I told her why I was there and explained how recently I've been finding myself struggling with the same five pounds, up and down.  I know it's my own doing - I'm not surprised to step on the scale and find that I've had a gain or stayed the same, since I know that I'm not trying my hardest.  But the two of us just sat there and talked, and I thought it was so wonderful.  I explained how the meeting I normally go to is so large and it overwhelms me, making me anxious when I want to say something, so it forces me to hold back.  This meeting had less than twenty people and the entire thing was so much more of a conversation than a lecture, like the other meeting sometimes could be.

I'd never had a conversation with my leader before this, and it felt really good to speak frankly with her about the problems I knew I was having and that I was trying to fix them but sometimes it seems so difficult for me.  And I think that connection is something that's really important, but something that's missing in larger groups and with leaders with more members at his/her meetings that he/she can handle.

I'll be sticking with Suzanne.  She seems so much more approachable and kind, and it's something I just realized today was missing from my other leader, something I really need.  I have a feeling that getting to know my leader will make me feel much more accountable every day.

Wish me luck!

[thethingsyoucando]

Went where so many before me have gone and made myself overnight oats for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Ingredients (aka whatever I could find in my house): 1/2 cup oats 1/2 cup milk 1/8 cup granola (regretted this immediately because I realized that it would get soggy, but you love and you learn) sprinkle of cinnamon sprinkle of pumpkin spice 4 strawberries 1 pineapple slice (from a can, leftover from dessert)

I may dollop a tablespoon of peanut butter on in the morning.  We'll see how daring I'm feeling!

The plan for tomorrow is to get up by 9am, eat my oats, take a 5 mile walk around the neighborhood (stopping for coffee on the way, of course), come back home and take a shower and get dressed, make some quinoa and veggies for lunch, then go to work at 1pm.

How are you guys doing?

[thethingsyoucando]

Weigh-in tomorrow.

And whether I lost weight or not, I can say that I'm happy.  This entire week I've felt really, unusually good about myself.  Looking in the mirror I can see how my body is changing, I can feel how my clothes are loosening, and I just know that even if the scale doesn't show it, I've made progress this week.

I wish I felt like this all the time, but I guess that would sort of negate the feel-good days, wouldn't it?

[thethingsyoucando]

Guys, being on OKCupid is worth it JUST for this shit right here.

I have an entire folder on my computer of ridiculous responses.  Don't even get me started.

OK sorry forgot that this is fitness blog for a second.  Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

[thethingsyoucando]

New goal that I've been trying to follow but which I'm officially declaring now: WALK AT LEAST 15 MILES PER WEEK.

Let's do this, fitblrs!