technoblade never dies.
(tw attempted suicide. it’s all in minecraft, but just in case. @gabnapp, i’m just doing what your blog title says so i cannot be held accountable. i hope you like this!)
As the years go by, what happens to the man who won’t die?
-
How Phil died is still a mystery. Technoblade will tell no one. Not even Ranboo knows, and he was there when it happened. Truth be told, it didn’t matter how it happened.
Techno didn’t speak for days, and only sat in front of the fire place, holding a compass in his hands, watching it spin. Ranboo wanted to bury Phil in the snow, close to the village. Techno rejected him, not with words, but by preparing a boat with a course set for the ruins of L’Manberg.
In the darkness, Ranboo and Techno quietly carried Phil through the trees to a small clearing in the forest on the outskirts of what used to be that great unfinished symphony. A headstone stood alone: Wilbur Soot. Brother, Son, Father, and Friend. A small blue cornflower was blooming from the moss green grass over his grave.
Techno threw a shovel down. “Start digging.”
-
Tommy and Tubbo went together. They were alone, but they went together, like they always did.
Nobody thought to tell Techno. He finds out on his way to visit Phil’s grave when he stumbles upon an old bench and two crude wooden crosses. There’s a red bandanna tied around one and a green one around the other.
Techno doesn’t know what to feel as he picks a nearby yellow daisy and lays it beneath the cross with “Tubbo” etched into the wood.
Techno pulls a golden apple from a pocket in his coat, and gently places it beside the cross for Tommy. Wouldn’t want you to get hungry, kid.
-
Karl vanishes and no one knows why. Quackity dies collapsed in Schlatt’s tomb, blood spilling from his mouth and a book in his hand. Niki and Jack disappear to a distant land, never to be seen or heard from again. Sam and Sapnap die fighting to keep Dream in the prison, only for the prison to lock their corpses away forever and Dream to flee into the night. No one knows what happened to George or Punz, only that they disappeared after Dream escaped. Bad, Ant, and Skeppy disappeared into the Egg a long, long time ago, their bodies lost to the blood vines. If he looks close enough, Techno can see a black and red cloaked hand intertwined with a pale blue one. Captain Puffy sails to somewhere far, far away, and only asks that Techno tell Dream that she misses her little duckling if he ever finds him.
Techno finds Fundy motionless, curled up on Wilbur’s grave, clutching an old brown coat close to his chest. Techno hopes that they can reconcile in whatever afterlife there seems to be for everyone else.
Ranboo disappears into the ocean, carrying only his books. He thanks Techno for everything and promises Techno that he will be remembered.
Eret is the last to leave. “There’s nothing left for me here,” she says to Techno. “I’m going to find Niki and Jack, if they’re still alive.” Eret takes their crown and casts it into the pit that was once a great nation. “The castle is yours.”
-
Techno tries everything: an anvil on his head, potions, throwing himself into the lava lakes of the Nether, shooting an arrow into the sky and letting it fall into his chest… He spends months grinding for a sword that might be powerful enough to kill him, only for it pass through him and do nothing. After countless weeks of reading and research and slaying Endermen, he finds the portal to a mysterious realm: the End… he learns of the void. He ignites the portal, and falls through. He doesn’t spare a thought for the countless Endermen or the mysterious islands or the menacing roar in the distance… he simply steps into the inky black void and waits.
Techno awakens in a forest.
A familiar voice comes from behind him. “Lonely, isn’t it? Being a god?”
