12/17/25
uh its been so long since i wrote something. my life has changed a lot in past couple of months. i feel like im hanging somewhere in between and honestly i dont know what to do. i started doing drugs and it has changed the way i used to see life. drugs make you meditate they said, idk if you really call this as 'clarity of thoughts' but i dont think so. ig im going numb, i dont feel my emotions anymore. as if i want to say but my throat is choked. im about to graduate and now ig the real 'life' part starts where you have to face it all. Drag yourself out in the real world just to prove that you are worth giving fucks for. Even love feels temporary, even though its all perfect. I dont know whats wrong anymore, i dont care about anything but my life. everything seems so dull. As if the world has lost its beauty. There are somedays when i feel i dont want anyone around me, not even her. Somedays i cant do without her. its so weird, as if im not in control anymore. I feel empty, i feel numb, dark and dead. Like a living corpse just hanging in there. I dont feel like doing anything, not even drugs hahaha. But yeah im trying my best to keep up, not to let down, not to fuck up my relationships even though i hate em. whenever im alone I feel like im about to cry, but i cant, i cant let it out. this is the part of my uncool life, the uncoolguy, signing off....













