byme

I write what's in my head. I write what I see. I write what I feel. And they're all my reality. 

[theunspokenpain]

memori

Kalau aku pergi, memoriku pada siapa? Kalau aku tiada, rindu kepunyaan siapa? Kalau aku tak wujud, adakah mimpi tentangku ada?

Alangkah malang, jika aku disingkirkan, dipadamkan, dihapuskan dari memori. Setiap atom dalam diri menggelegak mencari peneman. Walau hanya untuk sehari.

[theunspokenpain]

Kembali

Lama aku tak jengah ke tempat ni. Lama aku tinggalkan. Hidup aku pun berbeza.

Aku dah berubah.

[theunspokenpain]

Overdose

I let myself embrace this wicked hunger That keeps hunting me like a wild thunder My mind then begins drifting into the dark sky Is this what it feels like? To die?

But I still breathe you and take you in Until I willingly become a part of you Cold shiver crawls on my icy skin Dragging me away from what's true.

Deeper and deeper I start falling Even though your love is terribly suffocating I can tell that this is becoming dangerous But why can't I seem to swim to the surface?

I need this sweet addiction Cause you are magnificent, Calefatient, What a curious affliction!

I want to go higher in this fantasy So let me devour the sacchariferous ecstasy No, I dont want your diagnose cause even I can't stop this longing overdose.

[theunspokenpain]

Defibrillator

Come closer and I'll breathe you back to life I know it's hard to live but I'll try and make it better Together in darkness you and I will surely thrive Coz whenever your heart stops, I'll be your defibrillator.

[theunspokenpain]

I’m not who you think I am

Don't look at me With that starstruck eyes If only you could see I'm filled with goodbyes Once you step inside In this cold empty heart You'll lose all fight And nothing will be alright.

[theunspokenpain]

Detoured On Some Random Backwoods Path To Misery

Sometimes I’d go back to that time, time when the raging thunders chime striking my head quietly like the wind bringing forth my mistakes and my sins. Every now and again I peeked at the scars– trifling proofs that I had win the bloody wars still embedded and engraved on my skin getting deeper with every problems therein. I’d trace them with my fingers to remind me that I am merely a lost, frightened refugee broken and complete and utterly unstable– so maybe I am. just. unfixable.

[theunspokenpain]

This was almost an epic love poem

My heart is a raging hot volcano Filled with words I’m dying to let you know But each day I stumble and crumble– to say what’s in my heart, I am not able.

I took in my hand a piece of blank paper I only stared at it for hours, what a failure. It wasn't that I couldn’t find the right words but rejection was what I fear, cause it hurts.

When I decided that you’re worth the risk every emotions and drive came in a brisk like a tornado you’ll never see coming sweeping the earth and all of everything.

One by one the fire came blazing the paper my castle and I was it’s king I smiled as your image flooded my brain and every single thread of my veins.

It’s as if I was stuck in a battle with a beast wish I could say it was with such ease. It cut me with a sword and I felt the pain then thought to myself, “oh, this is insane.” 

The battle left me with cheers and glory words that would capture her heart surely The princess’ castle stood proudly in front of me as I slipped the paper under the door bravely.

I went through the night without a good sleep thinking that I might have sent myself so deep into a path of happiness or a miserable doom– if it was the latter my heart would be entombed.

A text was sent and I flew out of my bed it was the princess that had haunted my head “I’ve read your letter, can we meet?” She said I swear to god she almost knocked me down dead.

The sun had risen and I bought a bouquet  told myself that this could be a great day I hid the flowers behind me and saw her She smiled and a sudden rush made my eyes blur.

But I could tell her smile was wrong and amiss was there something about her that I missed? then I knew why as she handed me back the letter and said, “I’m sorry, but...” Her words stutter.

I stared at the letter for minutes, what a failure and she knew words were already failing her I took it painfully in my hand trembling the silence emanating from our mouths deafening.

I realised then I wasn’t a king but a mere knight a friend to keep her safe until she sees the daylight I shook my head for this is not the time to reminisce as I whispered in my head, “God, not like this.”

The princess left me and forever disappear this is the very dreadful thing that I had fear I was the pathetic friend in every love story the guy everyone couldn’t help for but felt sorry.

I dropped the flower and walked away I couldn’t just make people love me anyway she made me a knight but heck I’m on a throne so I gladly said to myself, “Screw the friend zone.”

[theunspokenpain]

You were the stars then you were the tragedy

Now I'm left lifeless and standing still with you no longer in my reveries I put the gun on my head to kill every last one of our memories. But every time I try I would falter because I keep seeing you in the corner– my quest for freedom you deter reminding me of what we once were. And in all those times you came to me you felt so real but I knew you were not why wont you just let me be free? because I'm tired of being distraught.

[theunspokenpain]

Coup de foudre

Roses are red  violets are blue  something's wrong with my head  it wont stop thinking about you.

Skies are high rivers are wild when will I ever be satisfy I want you like a little child.

Nights are lonely dreams are scary don't leave me hanging so quickly for you've put a spell on me.

Lips are shut Hands are trembling I got a strong feeling in my gut that you and I will soon be a thing.

[theunspokenpain]

Some wishes can't come true. You find hope and it still doesn't work out. And your heart continues to waver forever.

Natsume

[poetry-prompts]

Write a poem using these three words:

heartbeat

wind

clarity

[crossbills]

[prairiebones-deactivated2019012]

addiction.

[theunspokenpain]

Don’t cry. Goodbye.

My love is black, my love is blue. But I’m sorry it’s not for you. It is breathtaking and peculiar. No one thought it was familiar. You just wanted yellow and white. But I’m sorry I couldn’t get it right. Why did you want mundane? When I can make you go insane? Why did you wanna chase the known? When my heart would’ve had you blown. You wont accept who I am. Frankly I don’t give a damn. But someone else will take this darkness. And I’ll show her the face of happiness. So dear, is it clear? Don’t cry. Goodbye.

[theunspokenpain]

I never thought I’d die by her cold hands

There was nothing more assuring than living in a dream for everything in front of me felt real as it seemed the beauty of it made me refused to go back to reality no matter how many forces and pleas she gave to me.

I kept thinking that the love I had was forever that there was no chance in life I’d be alone ever and then the bitter moment came like a steady hurricane giving me no choice for all the pain I thought I’d feign.

I still remember the memories of me and her strange, for it was now my only remaining spur she soared like a butterfly into the late night sky, and she just left me here alone to die.

Damn it! I couldn’t understand why she would leave was it because of my assumptions and misperceive? was I wrong for our life and future believed? Apparently all these time I was nothing but naive.

It was so easy for you to bid your adieu couldn’t you at least thought of what we’ve been through? what happened to the deep promises you gave to me? were they only empty words that you thought of so conveniently?

I held her hand tight so she wouldn’t let go that night when she told me everything in this world was finite I watched as she slowly slipped away into the farthest universe and dark veins started creeping in my mind like a curse.

Before I even got the chance to get a kickstart she shoved the spear so wildly into my broken heart I stared in her eyes hoping the pain I could withstand for I truly never thought I’d die by her cold hands.

[theunspokenpain]

A Stalker’s Love

You repel me like a child And that gets me so wild You hide behind your tears But please just lose your fears I’ve seen the real you Like a mirror you can see through Where you slept And where you wept Places you’d put your steps Caused me a crazy relapse.

You have my heart chained And it can never be explained Hush now, don’t you squirm Unless you want me to be firm Be a good little darling that’s enough of quarrelling Sit there quietly on that chair I won’t hurt you, I swear The ropes are necessary remember that time you tried to flee? I’ll take it off from you someday When your heart is no longer astray.

Darling, don’t ask me for distance No I don’t need no resistance You might hate me now But you’ll learn to love me somehow Don’t you fear me my dear And from my side don’t disappear If we’re not meant for each other Then why do I see us together? Forget the reasons why we can’t For you already had me enchant Hold my hand and never let go I am tired of living in the shadow.

The light you resonate in me Makes me never want to break free Don’t you dare run away from me it is only you now that I see Your smile It’s worthwhile My darkness Now painless What are you afraid of? You know this is true love.

I’d pour my heart and soul In hopes that you’d make me whole But darling if you dare break my heart And tear it all nonchalantly apart I would have to own you by force Only then shall you understand remorse.

[poetry-prompts]

Write a horror inspired love poem.