Thoughts #17 Girl Best Friend
I have been MIA here lately [not like anyone's checking]. However, a lot has happened in the past few months... years, rather. Damn, it's really been about two years since my last rant.
~~Well, here I am again. You know I'm only here when I'm not okay or if my life is at its lowest of lows. And I am currently at it again. I thought I was finally getting better. But no, life is fucking me again in the ass and asking if I like it. Geez, when am I really gonna be genuinely happy?
So let me start this off by saying, I finally found a man who has been treating me really well, beyond well but really great. I can't find the words to describe how amazing he has been to me. We were bestfriends since 2013, and who would've thought we'd end up together after 10 years. But unfortunately (yeah there's something in this for me to be here).... he has a girl bestfriend.
A girl (who is married at a young age), that he has been bestfriends with, long before we were even became close 10 years ago. They were so close that she has been part of his family while he was single for the past five years. She calls his mom "mama", knows what's going on in his family, she helps him with his vices like buying cigarettes and alcohol for him, knew his embarrassing moments, has been introducing him to girls she thought he'd like (I'm not one of those because he's the one who rekindled our friendship without her having any idea), sleeps in his room, he gave her a fuck buddy while her relationship with her husband was on the rocks, he became her daughter's second dad; basically if I didn't know them I'd think they were actually husband and wife.
My boyfriend works abroad, he went home last year and that's when we became official after nine months or LDR. I was head over heels, damn fucking happy, I was on cloud 9. But soon cut short when I noticed how she was around me when we met again with him. We used to be friends back in 2013 but not really that close cuz we're only friends when I'm with him.
It all started when she went to my bf's bar, crying because she said she and her husband are officially over. We comforted her, bought her cigarettes and just listened, I wanted nothing more than to go home and just sleep because I was tired from work but I really felt sorry for her. Her first red flag was when she asked me after crying why I knew he was going home first, before her, who is HIS BESTFRIEND. I laughed dryly thinking she was just kidding but when I looked at her, it felt like backhanded comment.
Second encounter; they both picked me up from work. She was at his place first and was planning on drinking because she was heartbroken. When I met up with them in his car, she congratulated us, and I can feel she was genuinely happy seeing us; however, what took me by surprise was her telling me not to get jealous of them cuz apparently my boyfriend is overly clingy to her. Like seriously? Do you really need to tell me that? I just fake laughed and made an "okay" response. At this point my boyfriend changed the topic and I was quiet the whole ride back to his place. I thought that was the only thing she'd say but no... bare with me, this is gonna be long and full of her toxicity.
When we got back at his place, I have no fucking idea what's going on. Although my boyfriend told me that they'd be drinking, but I didn't know who "they" were at that time. So when we got there, we waited for their two other friends to show up. As we were waiting, they were talking, me in the middle of them. She was opening topics that I have no fucking idea what it was. She was talking about his family issues, like really, infront of me. What threw me off was when she said "what is she even doing here?" referring to my bf's sister in law. We were at his parent's house. She then realized what she said, and asked him if I knew, in which addressed me like I wasn't even there. My bf got angry obviously but just let it go, but I was really uncomfortable during that time.
A few min, the people they were expecting arrived so my bf brought out an alcohol he had for them to drink. They asked me if I'd drink, though I would. I was overwhelmed, I knew I'd get drunk quickly if I would but my ego was pushing me to just go with it and took a shot of what they're having. I stopped and asked to go home when I felt I was such an outsider in their circle. Excluding me in their conversations and basically talking like I wasn't even there. My bf was constantly asking me if I was okay, in which I kept saying yeah. But now, I was not. I can't even stand to be there anymore.
He drove me home, and told me what his girl bestfriend meant earlier, I was just quiet. He knew something was wrong. I was not feeling it the whole night as he continued to send me messages updating what was going on. Apparently, she got drunk. Insisted to drive home, so he convoyed her to make sure she gets home. His family insisted for her to sleep at their house, I don't see anything wrong with it. What is wrong was her drinking beyond her capacity and making a scene. After finding that out, I realized I can't make myself like her. I will never like her being involved in our relationship cuz for sure she's gonna do it again, and he's gonna be there to be with her. I was not wrong.
Third encounter; me and my bf were quietly celebrating our first month together. It was so simple yet perfect just what I like, it was just me and him watching a movie and I was about to fall asleep when she kept on chatting him to bring some of the vape he is selling to her. My house is a few miles away from where she is. My bf insisted she pick it up at his vape shop but no. She just have to ruin the day. So we went out and drove to her. I didn't leave the car, I let him go to her. While I was at the car, I was overthinking and was about to snap but I kept my cool. I promised myself I will never allow her to do that to him and us again.
I told him what I felt a few days after. we talked it out, he realized what he did and that their friendship should have limits now cuz he's taken now. But his girl bestfriend doesn't seem to understand this because she would still have attempted multiple times to ask him for a few favors, like driver her to places, bring her for something. My boyfriend shuts her off with a few excuses and she would stop.
However, he did admit to me how he used to like her and stopped because he realized she's not the type of woman he really wants to be with based on her life decisions and how she treats men. But what hurts me the most is finding out how he confessed to her that if he didn't pursue me, he'd go for her and shoot his shot in which she didn't dismiss.
I'll cut this short because this is now a resolved issue between me and my boyfriend. I cut her off, unfriended and unfollowed her in all social media platforms. He is still friends with her on facebook but is not holding conversations with her anymore, unless it's for business purposes. But I sometimes wish she'd finally disappear from our lives.
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