#hoplessness

[rosavelle]

I have become hopeless hoping for hope every hopeless night.

[acaciawriting]

Scared of Myself.

Lots of people are scared of talking to each other. Me? Im scared of myself more than anyone else.

Scared that I am the problem.

I tell myself that im making it all up.

Say that im fine.

Because that’s what everyone else thinks.

And that must be true right?

If everyone else thinks it.

Scared that people are using me.

Also scared that im using other people.

That I don’t care about them.

That im only using them because I cant make friends normally.

That im just using them to vent.

I try to avoid it.

Try to keep it all in, But it occasionally spills out.

They say im manipulative.

Am I?

Scared that im not helping them enough.

Im trying to help them.

Trying to listen.

Trying to make them feel better.

But is it helping at all?

Is it actually making them feel better?

Do they hate me?

Because I pretend it helps me.

Maybe they’re lying too.

Scared that im useless.

That im doing this for attention.

Because im not good enough for someone to care in real time.

I write and write wondering if im making at all up.

Wondering if im weak for not being able to keep it in.

And maybe I am.

[2x55]

[Text ID: Her dreams sinking into the mire like wounded swallows; all that she longed for, all that she had denied herself, all that she might have had! And for what? For what?]

—𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐆𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭; 𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟖𝟓𝟔.

[frostybaby99]

Anybody else having one of those days (weeks, months, or year) Where they know what they want, see it constantly around them but just can't get it themselves?

[fuckyouimstillstanding]

I hate myself.

I hate this life.

I want to escape.

Please take me away.

[stwberri]

the feeling of normality and being content with my own life, not having to romanticize everything i do and not having to act like someone i'm not, is all i ever want to archive in life. happiness and satisfaction.

[narcissablackmylove]

Remus: You know, Lily gives Narcissa flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too. Severus: Okay. *Later* Severus: *gives Narrcissa flowers* Narcissa: ??? Severus: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

[serenityquest]