V I B E S

write words you're to fearful to speak aloud

[thevintagestoner]

To Be

My self identity is like a dictionary

I’m constantly flipping the pages

Turning round and round the book

Searching for the word, the term, the answer as to who I am

Self identity is like a sword

It cuts you in half and exposes you

It opens you up and shows the world who you are

It boxes you...controls you

My self identity is confusion

Because I am constantly using these labels that never seem to fit

My self identity is my name because that is all I want you to call me

My self identity just is.

It just exists.

Just like I do...

So accept all of me or nothing at all.

I JUST AM.

[thevintagestoner]

You have to question, at times, the actions of the people who say they care about you. Are they mindful of your struggles? Are they aware of your hardships? Do they even act like they care? You have to understand that some people are intrinsically selfish and while I am not saying to fault them for this emotional failure, I am saying that they DO NOT need to be in your lives. If a person always asks you for advice, and expects you to listen to their stories however fails to listen to your story and does not provide a vested interest in even attempting to find a solution to whatever issue you are facing I must ask you something:- WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING FOR YOU?? YOU are burdened with the expectation of listening, YOU are burdened with discovering a working solution, YOU are burdened with the fixing, amending, and repairing of THEIR lives so don't be surprised when YOUR broken THEY aren't there because it's not THEIR struggle, not THEIR hardship, not THEIR difficulty so why should THEY care? Cut off. Cut out. And move the fuck on. What you have is a leech and that blood sucking son of a bitch will drain the life out of you.

[thevintagestoner]

Notes To Self

Stop sharing your life, your story, and your being with those who don’t care.

Learn to cut off and cut out when necessary.

Don’t allow anyone to make you feel inadequate.

Even though giving is not about receiving, be aware that you deserve friends who will treat you, care for you, and love you with the same intensity that you give them.

Don’t settle.

Always strive for more.

And lastly:-

If you are carrying a basket and the weight of the objects within that basket becomes to heavy be sure to free yourself of that burden and dump all of those items out. Keep the basket though, cause bitch that’s yours and ain’t nobody boutta take your good basket.

[thevintagestoner]

Sometimes I can’t breathe and it sure as hell aint due to lack of oxygen

[thevintagestoner]

I don’t want you those that read this to think that because my blog is sunshine yellow that somehow struggles do not make my soul as dark and as stormy as the cloudiest night I sit upon a throne of Blackness One that is covered in riches Behind their derisive sneers And sounds of scorn I hear a melodious voice Singing sweet She whispers and screams and shouts and yells

*You're a Queen*

[thevintagestoner]

I expose myself in between the blue lines of a white paper I reveal my sins upon the cushions at the alter I whisper my hardships into the darkness of nights I scream my pain in a soft breath upon my death bed

Now please! Tell me again, that my struggle is non-existent.

[thevintagestoner]

I exist in a blurry lens From a distorted vision I situate my spot in existence Upon a mound

[emaaanc-deactivated20161207]

When she is told Her skin is too dark; I do not hesitate to offer, That the sun loved her so much It kissed her more Than the rest of us.

[thevintagestoner]

I stopped caring... In a way i hadnt before.. Like in the beginning it was about myself, life, my future. I just didn't giver a fuck. If I didn't see it. It was unimportant. Now? I'm shifting, changing, evolving. The foundation of Me that I thought was so rooted into the ground has changed. I'm not sure what I am now. Not sure what I'm doing but I feel as though I'm on the cusp of something amazing Becoming something amazing...

[thevintagestoner]

you claim self-love self-acceptance self-identity and yet you let their words hit you break you shatter you like bricks against glass walls

[thevintagestoner]

we found beauty in those open spaces.

and love between those soft lines.

[infinityrobes-deactivated202512]

[thevintagestoner]

ivory sorrows

i hate.

so much so that the rage consumes me.

i sorrow.

wallow in losses i have yet to experience.

the music whispers sweet nothings upon my ears

like the words of a lover in the dark of night

our bodies illuminated by the light of the midnight moon

i desire.

so strong.

i want the things i know i musn’t and crave the things i know i shouldn’t

logics catastrophe

broken into pieces

shattered and scattered

like the world through a telescope

my existence is distorted, broken, bent

the deconstruction of me has occurred and allowed for the reconstruction of a being called us

i am so much more and yet i lack

i have nothing left and yet i love

you whisper sweet nothings in my ear

the words are incomprehensible 

they constantly shift reform and take an unassuming shape 

like wisps of smoke from the end of a cigarette butt

i walk to The Ends until my feet are bruised swollen and cut

we lose ourselves in the darkness

lose ourselves in the sound

my spirit is left to wander 

amongst the earth sun moon and clouds

[brundleflyforawhiteguy]

The Art of Clive Barker

[thevintagestoner]

Red

Smoke caused the faces and bodies to distort contort and bend. Souls to meld merge and mingles like the lovers on a soft carpeted floor.

It seemed unnatural. Supernatural. Other. 

I lost all sense of self.

I could not see around me. But I could feel. My existence was nullified prioritized and demolished all in the same gasp of sweat-filled air.

I was deaf. Oblivious to sound as the bass stomped beats on my aching ear drums.

My sight was hindered by the rush crush and flow of limbs. I was lost in a sea of gyrating flesh.

I was dizzy by it all. Lost in it all. 

I was disoriented absent adrift. Wasted away on a dance floor. 

[thevintagestoner]

pink veins, blue blades

cotton candy on a stick.

red balloons against a blue and white abyss

a silent whisper

a stolen kiss

it goes. passes. 

its lost.

quickly instantly gone.

Gone.

[thevintagestoner]

I can't handle this... I needa smoke