What Is Life

Existential crisis - or is it just life? Really just the flood of realization I was probably a gifted kid with adhd-pi

[wildxwired]

How fucking annoying is it when you feel so restless with creative energy but you can’t decide what to do with it and when you finally try to create something it comes out shit so you just give up and sit there being all creatively annoyed and jittery.

[lianabrooks]

1 - Decision Making Fatigue is a thing. --> Make a list of possibilities. --> Use a random number generator to pick something off the list. --> If you hate the idea cross it off and generate a new number. --> Continue until you either find a project or cross off the whole list. --> If you cross off the whole list pick a random short story prompt, write for five minutes, and call it a good work day.

2. Yeah, of course your rough draft sucks. It’s supposed to. --> Let it suck. --> You can fix it in edits. 

3. When you’re stressed you aren’t unbiased about your work. --> Don’t judge your work while your are actively working on it. --> Remember to drink water, take your meds/vitamins, eat something, and get sleep. --> Double-check to make sure the restless creative energy is not displaced emotional worries over something else. If it is, displace with intention and let the worries go into your work. You shouldn’t keep stress in your head, put it on a page, or canvas, or in a carving, or a meal, or something. Get it out and let it go.

4. No work is ever wasted. --> All time spent planning and creating is useful in some way.  --> Failure means you tried, which is good. --> Try again. Fail harder. Fail better. --> Keep going until you like what you’re making.

5. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to not be perfect. --> Seriously.  --> If this is a struggle I highly recommend seeing a doctor or therapist about depression. --> Because you are dang lovable, my friend. You rock. You do great things. I’m proud of you.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[thememedaddy]

me_irl

[w-moo-deactivated20250529]

Tell me about the kids that grew up unsupported as the smart quiet kids because they got good grades and were quiet. Tell me about the kids who in reality were just good at pattern recognition and problem solving because their memory sucked and they needed something to act as a backup. Tell me about the kids who were quiet because everything's going too slow or maybe too fast or maybe too loud or maybe too quiet gods please what's happening... Tell me about the kids whose mouth was always running a marathon in sprint race against their brain. Tell me about the kids who spoke too fast, too quiet, too loud, too everything. Tell me about the kids who knew what they wanted to communicate but words are hard and they go too fast. Tell me about the kids who didnt learn how to cope but learned to manage and shoulder through and be quiet, let them fill in the blanks - let them assume. Tell me about the kids who learned that you don't have to be a good student, you just have to let them think you are. Tell me about the kids who learned how to get the teacher to ignore them. Tell me about how those kids crashed and burned and no one figured out why even as they sat in the hospital manic. Tell me about the kids who shouldered through and started looking into what was wrong themselves because the doctors wouldn't listen and the medication just made it worse. Tell me about the kid who realized hoarding shiny rocks and money and spoons and cups and plants and stuffed animals and sleeping with a ton of weight on them in a nest and pretty lights and working in an environment THEY could control and be able to stim and tic and fidget in helped. Tell me about the kid with a note on their phone full of links and resources and evidence all pointing to one conclusion that makes way to much sense. Tell me about the kids who almost didn't make it and realized only afterwards they most likely actually have undiagnosed ADHD and no one's going to believe them. Tell me about the kids. Tell me I'm not alone...

[katiesaddbrain]

Before my ADHD diagnosis and treatment. I literally would just walk in circles around my house and room when I was bored, not knowing it was my brain searching desperately for stimulation.

[katiesaddbrain]

Cleaning a house or room while having ADHD is so annoying. Like you can never focus on one section of a room or task and complete that. No you walk in circles around the room switching from one unfinished section to another. Until you have finished and made the task take 5 hours longer that it should have taken. It’s an inefficient and unproductive vicious cycle.

[guerrillatech]

[adhdtogether]

Brushing my mouth bones before unconsciousness is the part that gets me

[thestoryofmyadhdlife]

ADHD memory

One of the hardest thing about having adhd (for me personally) is how it affects my memory. It’s funny how being diagnosed has helped me look at my symptoms and understand how my brain works. My memory especially.

I’ve figured out that if something is really interesting and/or horrifying I will remember it vividly for a time and then somewhere along the way, it gets lost.

This makes watching tv series really interesting. I cannot for the life of me remember much from a previous season as I’m watching the newest one.

That’s annoying.

On the other hand, I’ve binge watched the entire series of Grey’s Anatomy and Doctor Who (to name a few) multiple times and I’m always surprised because I’ve forgotten entire episodes or even characters, which makes a beloved series exciting and new. I oftentimes sort of know what’s gonna happen but I don’t actually remember until it’s happening.

Which brings me to the next facet of my memory.

Visual representation and repetition.

My best friend dated someone for almost 3 months before I could remember his name. I’d never met him and only seen a picture of him once.

It’s almost impossible for me to remember something if I don’t have a visual representation.

It’s like I forget everything that is said to me but I’m able to recall things I can see in my mind. Most of the time. Sometimes I just have so many things to remember that things I’ve only seen once (no matter how important) gets pushed out.

This is where visual repetition is important. The more times I seen something, the eaiser it will be for me to remember. I’m actually really good with numbers but I suck at counting in my head.

This is all a lot about how my memory fails me but it’s also about how I’ve learned ways to help myself remember.

At my job when someone gives me instructions, I tell them to repeat it in steps or sections while I try to give that instruction a visual representation.

If I’m told three things have to lie a certain way in a freezer box (I work in a supermarket), instead of going ‘spareribs on the right, cheese in the middle, bread on the left’ I go to the box and visualise the placement. Sometimes an hour will go by before I’m actually putting the stuff in the box and I’ll have forgotten all about left, right and middle but I’ll have the picture in my mind of the placement.

I know that doing things right away is always best for me because then I won’t forget but that’s not always possible, so I need to constantly come up with new techniques to help me remember.

Thanks for coming to my oddly long and boring Ted Talk. I hope it wasn’t too all over the place. Most of what I write on this blog is about self realisation. I encourage anyone to read my blog and talk to me about whatever you want, I’d love to give any advice I can or just listen. However, I’m ultimately writing this blog for me.

[oceanslesbian]

what i have realized as someone who has inattentive adhd is that from the outside i can appear even highlighted calm is because my hyperactivity is mostly within my brain. And I’m not very impulsive but I feel like that too nowdays appears within my head, I just don’t act on it because anxiety/past.

[pixelcurious]

One thing that makes it so hard to read with ADHD is that as I'm reading, my own thoughts crowd in, fragmented, chattering, drowning out the sense of whatever I'm trying to read, so I lose track and find my eyes running empty over the text while trains of thought roar past and derail constantly in my head

[littlenervoussubject]

an incomplete list of really annoying adhd symptoms

- Losing your phone and/or keys at least once a day, usually multiple times. (Especially my phone. If my phone is not in my hand I probably have no idea where it is.)  

- Looking like an asshole 24/7 even though you’re actually a really considerate person at heart because you constantly forget to reply to texts and messages, RSVP to events, tip waiters, etc. It took me about two weeks to realize I hadn’t yet donated to my friend’s Kickstarter. 

- Driving is just. You know. Fun. 

- Completely forgetting what you were going to say in the middle of probably 30% of your sentences. 

- Constantly burning food, leaving detergent on too long, etc. because you step out of the room for two seconds and end up distracted by something else.

- Fighting back tears when you need to clean a space but there are too many Items and u need to move them all and sort them out….somehow…kill me

- Needing clean, clear spaces in your home in order to think straight, but everything is constantly a mess because executive dysfunction. 

- That persistent feeling, even when you’re calm and feeling mostly fine, that you’ve probably forgotten something of dire importance and your life is about to come crashing down around you. 

- Getting super flustered when someone gives you instructions to follow that aren’t written down. 

- Being actually really fucking smart but having nothing to show for it because you struggle to follow instructions, remember key components of simple tasks, and you get confused by half of what people say to you.

- Being really hardworking and taking your work really seriously but getting no credit for it because you can’t perform half as well as employees who care half as much.

- Not understanding jokes. Not understanding jokes. Not understanding jokes.  N o t  u n d e r s t a n d i n g  j o k e s   

- Thought of a good song lyric, melody, or description? You better write that shit down NOW because it’s gonna be gone in 20 seconds. 

- Not knowing how to respond to various things people say so you just end up saying the most accidentally rude or awkward thing you possibly could. 

- Literally not even being able to focus on things that you love to do. Having to structure time to do things that are fulfilling to you. *bangs head against wall repeatedly*

- Checking and re-checking any work you do because who the hell knows what glaringly obvious idiotic mistake you might have made.

- Realizing that absolutely everything you know how to do halfway competently is a combination of Google and winging it because your brain just does not process information the way it’s normally presented and “common sense” is not a thing with you. 

- Having to set an unsettling amount of alarms on your phone if you actually want to remember the things you need to do. 

- Pretty much never making any recipe that involves more than 4 ingredients because anything past that gets overwhelming. 

- Making to-do lists and forgetting you made them. 

[hyperfixatin-blog]

adhd (predominantly inattentive) things ive gone and done

skimming over words so fast i dont process them properly (reading ‘chickens’ instead of ‘children’ or ‘vaccinations’ instead of ‘vicinity’ etc etc.)

the same problem but this time im reading out loud in class :) :)

after finishing a can of coke, trying to put it in my mouth 

at college asking my classmate where ‘room 13 was’ and her staring back at me with complete shock bc ‘how tf have you forgotten that’s been our english classroom all year’ ohhhh yeahhhhh

still getting the glass and plate cupboards confused even though i have lived there for six months

chewing on my lips during an exam to the point where they start bleeding bc thats the only way i can concentrate without drawing too much attention to myself

dancing in my room at 1am for no other reason than im suddenly a bundle of energy and cant fall asleep

‘how are you still hungry???’

chewing gum to help me focus

going with a classmate to get chips from cafeteria and ending up telling him all my deepest insecurities and struggles bc i have a problem with oversharing

just…oversharing in general i feel so sorry for all the groupchats im in

‘i should probably check to see if i read that wrong………..yeahhhh i did’

using subtitles to help me process the words

getting rid of subtitles because they are too distracting

grandma surprised me by getting me a very expensive guitar for my bday after listening to me babbling about wanting one for days. didnt have the heart to tell her that i had lost interest months ago :)

being so excited to see my learning support for the first time that i forgot to bring work to do

started daydreaming and put a metal bowl in the microwave. it sparked after three seconds and i quickly took it out before it fucking exploded. this was not the first time this had happened.

got lost to my german class (it was a class i had been going to twice a week for half a year - my friend was very amused)

created an imaginary island based off a random shape i drew on my leg

spent an hour looking for my phone that was actually in my back pocket the whole time

lying to my parents about where i find things that ive lost because its way less embarrassing than admitting that it was literally in front of my nose the entire time

and lots more :)

[mindingmyownbrain]

“A female with ADHD may be less hyperactive and less impulsive than her male counterpart. Instead she may present with more subtle symptoms such as being disorganized, scattered, forgetful, introverted, withdrawn and socially isolated. She may have great difficulty keeping her focus on tasks, becoming side-tracked and easily distracted by things around her or even by her own thoughts. It may take her a little longer to process information, so that she appears “slow” or “spacey” or “flighty”, when in fact she may be highly intelligent. She may have a low tolerance for stress, feel extremely sensitive to criticism, and work hard to conform to adult expectations in hopes of gaining approval from others. She may have a hard time saying “no” to others, over committing to responsibilities that she cannot fulfill. It may be difficult for her to make firm decisions on even simple tasks, so that she seems wishy-washy and indecisive. Problem solving situations can become overwhelming and she may often find herself stuck, experiencing a sense of paralysis, unable to move forward at all. Managing her time can be quite a challenge, as well, and “running late” may be her norm. She may also be hypersensitive to her environment – the noise, the sights, even touch – and quickly become overloaded, “shutting down” and unable to function. She may feel and incredible sense of shame, berating herself for not “living up to her potential”.”

— Keath Low, MA

[confused-mortal-being-ft-adhd]

Neurodivergent Struggle

Does anybody else struggle to understand the emotion or meaning that someone is trying to convey over text, but because of the lack of social cues and understanding you take it the wrong way?

I know that anyone can experience a misunderstanding over text. 

But with adhd i tend to not understand what people are saying if they aren’t direct about it. If you’re being vague or hinting to something i just will not get it, and if i do, it’s delayed. 

My misunderstandings can often lead to arguments over text. And i feel terribly guilty about it. I didn’t intend for that to happen but it does anyway, and then i feel like a complete a$$hole just because i couldn’t understand and was the one that turned the conversation into a fight. 

[royalty-of-all-things-snuggly]

Me, after recognizing I’m exhibiting clear ADHD symptoms: There’s no way I’m not ADHD

Me, anytime I think about seeking professional help: nahh there’s no way I have ADHD, I’m just *insert literally any stereotypical excuse*

[8372516474829287483j342938-deac]

my internal monologue, circa every hour of my existence

[star-anise]

Hi! I was wondering whether you might have pointers to resources for gifted+ADHD adults, if there are any decent ones out there that don't minimize the disabling nature of ADHD and just treat it like a magic creativity bonus. I hope this isn't presumptuous to ask, but I'm really struggling with stuff like being able to go to bed in time to get enough sleep at the same time as holding down a career that makes people go "ooooo you must be ~so smart" and am incredibly frustrated by the combination.

Giftedness is such a frustrating thing to talk about, because there are all these cultural narratives around ~bragging and ~egotism and shit and like… no. Giftedness isn’t important to me because I want to be TEH SMRTST, it’s important to me because I had no friends as a child. Realizing, “Hey, I have this neurodivergence that means that OF COURSE 99.9% of the kids I meet think I’m weird” meant I stopped thinking that I was just uniquely broken and unlovable.

It’s about being smart enough to name all the moons of Jupiter, but not realizing the other 7-year-olds don’t want to hear them. It’s about being literally mandated by all the adults in your life to do work that they know is too easy for you for a dozen years, and having your executive function atrophy, and then almost drowning when you’re thrown in the river of work hard enough for you in college.

Soooo yeah. I care about it a lot. (For people who aren’t familiar with my extensive back catalogue: I’ve written essays before on giftedness as neurodivergence and how most gifted children don’t grow up into eminent adults)

Anyway, the term for giftedness+disability (learning disability, autism spectrum, physical disability, mental illness) is “twice-exceptional” or “2e”.  Twee as fuck, but whatever, it’s googleable. I guess parents don’t want to be like my friend Feather and call it “comorbidity”. I also find ADDitude magazine to be a perpetually good resource.

Fortunately (unfortunately?) a huge number of resources for ADHD adults honestly are aimed at Gifted ADHD adults, just because most things written about psychology and self-help are inaccessible to people who aren’t cognitively strong. So if you like reading tons of psychological literature, ADDitude has a list of classics in the field.