Who's Zarya's Wife??

Call me Mars or Zarya - check my About page for more about me, and check my links for my other blogs. Also you should visit my Zarya-centric Overwatch blog, Tales of a Disillusioned Tank (Icon by Ichiro-Artosaki)

[marmochka]

I discovered ‘Magikarp Splash’ a few weeks ago and someone who watched me stream it claimed I eventually have to pay to win it.

When I get on, though, I always get this:

So now I am determined to play this application in full without spending any money.

I began this endeavor on March 28 and raise my Magikarp as often as I can every day. I am now in the 5th league (out of 8) after raising about 8 fish to win the 4th league.

My most recent loss, Karpo, won 7 games out of 20. His six predecessors each retired with less than 5. He was the 27th Magikarp I have raised so far.

I will beat this game. And in two years, when I reach the 8th league with my best Magikarp of all time, I will be sure to stream it. 

I’m a bit too invested to stop now. I need to know how long this takes to beat without paying. Wish me and my overcrowded pond of Magikarp luck.

[marmochka]

Update: Remember Karpo? The Magikarp who won 7 games? (I meant to say 15, each league has 15 apparently)

Meet Kapupee (Sue me, I’m running out of names) who finally won the Fast League, aka the 5th out of 8.

Let me point out the fact that IT TOOK ME NINE MORE MAGIKARP TO BEAT THE LEAGUE. 

NINE. 

MORE. 

THAT MAKES FIFTEEN. BEATING THIS LEAGUE WITHOUT SPENDING ANY MONEY TOOK ME A WEEK AND FIFTEEN FISH

But if that wasn’t stupid enough, Kapupee won by .01 meters… against a Magikarp literally named Karen…reign… whatever

(Her trainer promptly asked to see Kapupee’s manager btw)

-wipes sweat from brow- Three more leagues to go…. And just a reminder that I started this endeavor at the end of March and have checked in at least once a day since to progress.

Also, anyone have name ideas? I’m running out. Seriously. The game filters out ‘bad words’ so i had to get around ‘Kapoopie’ with that spelling but gimme what you got.

[marmochka]

Almost one month later, I... finally finished the Luxury league, which was 20 battles - and each league after that is 20 now... except the last one I assume, which is called the Elite Four league.

There are two more to go other than that one. Still checking in at least once a day and all.

My last winner was just Gen 36. Without paying any money, I needed to retire 24 more Magikarp fdlkfjg

I can now raise really cute purple bois though.

[marmochka]

I discovered ‘Magikarp Splash’ a few weeks ago and someone who watched me stream it claimed I eventually have to pay to win it.

When I get on, though, I always get this:

So now I am determined to play this application in full without spending any money.

I began this endeavor on March 28 and raise my Magikarp as often as I can every day. I am now in the 5th league (out of 8) after raising about 8 fish to win the 4th league.

My most recent loss, Karpo, won 7 games out of 20. His six predecessors each retired with less than 5. He was the 27th Magikarp I have raised so far.

I will beat this game. And in two years, when I reach the 8th league with my best Magikarp of all time, I will be sure to stream it. 

I’m a bit too invested to stop now. I need to know how long this takes to beat without paying. Wish me and my overcrowded pond of Magikarp luck.

[marmochka]

Update: Remember Karpo? The Magikarp who won 7 games? (I meant to say 15, each league has 15 apparently)

Meet Kapupee (Sue me, I’m running out of names) who finally won the Fast League, aka the 5th out of 8.

Let me point out the fact that IT TOOK ME NINE MORE MAGIKARP TO BEAT THE LEAGUE. 

NINE. 

MORE. 

THAT MAKES FIFTEEN. BEATING THIS LEAGUE WITHOUT SPENDING ANY MONEY TOOK ME A WEEK AND FIFTEEN FISH

But if that wasn’t stupid enough, Kapupee won by .01 meters... against a Magikarp literally named Karen...reign... whatever

(Her trainer promptly asked to see Kapupee’s manager btw)

-wipes sweat from brow- Three more leagues to go.... And just a reminder that I started this endeavor at the end of March and have checked in at least once a day since to progress.

Also, anyone have name ideas? I’m running out. Seriously. The game filters out ‘bad words’ so i had to get around ‘Kapoopie’ with that spelling but gimme what you got.

[marmochka]

I discovered ‘Magikarp Splash’ a few weeks ago and someone who watched me stream it claimed I eventually have to pay to win it.

When I get on, though, I always get this:

So now I am determined to play this application in full without spending any money.

I began this endeavor on March 28 and raise my Magikarp as often as I can every day. I am now in the 5th league (out of 8) after raising about 8 fish to win the 4th league.

My most recent loss, Karpo, won 7 games out of 20. His six predecessors each retired with less than 5. He was the 27th Magikarp I have raised so far.

I will beat this game. And in two years, when I reach the 8th league with my best Magikarp of all time, I will be sure to stream it. 

I’m a bit too invested to stop now. I need to know how long this takes to beat without paying. Wish me and my overcrowded pond of Magikarp luck.

[crowswarm]

my friend and i were arguing about soup

[captainkirk94-deactivated201903]

Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.

[cc-videos]

“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.

I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.

What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?

I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’

But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]

[camera zooms in on glasses] 

[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”

[leupagus]

This should win an Oscar

[marmochka]

man, saaaame

[awesome-picz]

Meet Nova The German Shepherd And Pacco The Ferret, That Are The Unlikeliest Of Best Buds .

[helditem-moved-xd-deactivated20]

does anyone have the “my wife is home” r/ambien post

[abnormalize-remadeeeeelol-deact]

[a-really-bad-decision]

[marmochka]

@geek-it-up it’s me

[spacespectrum-deactivated202010]

my armenian father getting angry at a squirrel

[cornchipz-revival]

“you are. stealink…. my nuts…”

[shiny-goodra808]

I think about this video all the time

[blueskyfeverdreams]

You are leetle theef

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true 

[zonecassette]

holy shit

[severalowls]

I can’t even imagine what meaningless filler went into panels 2-3.

[newtypenea]

oh my god these are actually funny

[baishujinkou]

[moonkitty]

this is 100% true and once you remove the horrible filler bullshit its comedy gold

[buff-pink]

“Don’t you get tired of playing Zarya, Mars?”

[buff-pink]

[buff-pink]

[marmochka]

[chroniclebooks]

Happy Hanukkah from the Hanukcats! 

[marisatomay]

every cover of wham!’s last christmas is infuriating because it lacks the special sauce that makes the original so fucking good

[marisatomay]

gay yearning

[marmochka]

you have clearly never heard darren hayes’ cover, then

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcHerYn_bJc

he has a whole album dedicated to ‘gay yearning’ too, look up ‘the tension and the spark’ - in fact look up all his shit, he’s amazing and writes his own songs

he left australia to marry his husband and never went back. basically all he did after that was write/record songs about his depression and how his husband helped bring him out of it

now he’s retired and does comedy. he’s one of my heroes.

[whatsupbeanie]

Hahaha I’m a functional adult that can use the phone no problem, yep, definitely *sweats*. In all seriousness, I’ve had a huge problem with doing phone calls most of my life and have made huge progress with it to the point that I can sound almost normal during them. The build up to a call is still pure agony though.

[manyofnine]

I am not alone…

[theinturnetexplorer]

RIP Beautiful Prince.

[chandri]

WTF TORONTO

[violent-darts]

No this is totally normal for Toronto.

[teapartiez]

[deadblog293898210398]

*has video game open* hm i dont feel like playing this right now actually *closes it* man i wish i was playing video game right now *opens it again* hm i dont feel like playing this right now actually *closes it

[marmochka]

@geek-it-up

[marmochka]

So tl;dr is I need one last signal boost for my other kitten, and this time it’s not a terminal situation so I can actually get her help without worrying that she’ll end up like Linko.

Twitter link if you wanna retweet: https://twitter.com/Marmochkaa/status/1176959148581257217

Ko-fi link if you can help: https://ko-fi.com/darkpxnk

Thanks for reading and signal boosting. This won’t be happening again as I said, for a LONG time. I’m already beet red having to do this a second time so suddenly but I was finally convinced I should try it again.

[marmochka]

OP: https://ko-fi.com/Blog/Post/Campaign-update-1-G2G114F8D

I’m trying to remember to crosspost these on Ko-Fi, Twitter and here. Thank you for the help so far! I’m almost halfway into our goal.

[marmochka]

Thank you all so much for the signal boosts and the donations toward Zelda’s bills. Srsly. She’s really thankful.

Just a reminder that I’ll have a more substantial update on Wednesday, and I’m far more active with posting updates on the situation on Twitter and Ko-Fi. (It’s also easier for me to post pics of her there.)

Twitter: http://twitter.com/marmochkaa

Ko-fi: http://ko-fi.com/darkpxnk

I’m amazed at my new attachment to Twitter. I never thought I’d actually… like it, but the porn bots on Tumblr are starting to get to me. 

Also, God I really hope my shitty phone will get decent pics and vids when I take Zelda to the vet. I might just bring my bulky ass tablet instead.

[marmochka]

New huge update! Turns out I severely underestimated the costs of this thinking a simple shoulder injury would be easy to pay for. I had to raise my goal to double what I expected. 

I can still cover *some* of the bills I’m going to be faced with so I’m not expecting 100% of them to be covered by donations, but as much as possible will prevent me from spending money I actually need to survive this month - so please, share this with everyone you know, ping your streamer friends on twitter, toss it in your discord servers, anything will be help. 

Ko-Fi post with all the details: https://ko-fi.com/post/Campaign-Update-2-P5P814P9P

Twitter Post with link to Ko-Fi Post: https://twitter.com/Marmochkaa/status/1178793885427994624

If you can help, as always, all donations can be sent here: http://ko-fi.com/darkpxnk

PS: I can only thank you with streams and artwork at the moment. I’m working on some Tracer art you can expect to see on my art blog soon - and, as a thank you for all the help, come by my twitch tonight (around 7 CST) for a playthrough of I Love You, Colonel Sanders. (I tricked some of my friends into helping me do voices and everything.)

Depending on how long it is, it might take more than one stream. 

Once this is all over with I’ll be a lot more coherent… I’ve been putting so much time into trying to spread the word, I’ve legit lost track of days. I still can’t believe I went all of yesterday thinking it was Saturday.

[marmochka]

Tweet link: https://twitter.com/Marmochkaa/status/1179180908215189505

How you can help: Retweet this and tag your cool friends, tag your streamer friends, tag your cat lover friends. Any form of exposure will offer me a better chance of reaching my goal.

My new Ko-Fi post has a definitive goal and a complete summary of Zelda’s visit at the vet today, by the way: https://ko-fi.com/post/Campaign-Update-3-F1F814SDT

And  just so you know she’s okay for now, here is a picture of Zelda tripping on her pain meds:

And a bonus video: