The Whys To Life.

25 | Canada | Keep an open mind

[thewhystolife]

Growing Up Into A World I Didn't Plan For

When I was younger all I wanted was a consistent job that wasn't necessarily difficult, but that typical office, almost sitcom like clock in, clock out, same shit different day type work. Yeah, maybe it'd get tiring, but it was the rest of the time in my day that I could enjoy. Now it seems like all those menial jobs are being cut or replaced by technology and even the thought of a job that's not overly skilled, or a repetitive task, existing for people to do but also at a livable wage is crazy. The life I wanted as a kid simply doesn't exist anymore. Maybe it does, still, but maybe not for much longer.

[thewhystolife]

I always see posts on social media about how if you don't use your brain, you lose it, and I do try to keep my mind healthy. I mean, it's not, but daily word games, reading here and there, learning things, it's all beneficial to that, right? I say this all because I need to get back to being concise; my older posts, my stream of consciousness, my thought trains had direction, didn't miss stops or veer off course. I think my current trains are more like buses, and there's an evil elf constantly pulling the cord and preventing the thoughts from ever being completed.

[thewhystolife]

I've been thinking lately about life, about what we're living for. Well, maybe not that, but the idea that as long as we're enjoying life, that's okay, isn't it? It's one of those things I think we all think about, being able to go do whatever, whenever; be it walks in nature, art, playing sports or other games, or well, nothing. And it's in that that I've this conflict in my mind. I don't want to have to overly stress myself out to exist, but then to exist, bills have to be paid, and that requires a job. Which, seems like the way things are going lately, the amount of skill relative to pay is going up and up, requiring a constant need to either prove yourself, improve yourself, or change into an area in which someone deems to worthy of a certain dollar amount or salary. I've done a few jobs in my life, and the ones that I've enjoyed the most are ones that have both community and purpose, but at the same time, that purpose slowly became somewhat of a confusing thought. I was working somewhere, making a decent amount, but yet within the context of that company, not generally speaking. And, as far as purpose, yeah, it seemed well, like there was no purpose to my work, yet, it was keeping me afloat, but it just seemed like there was no real need for what I was doing. Art is funny that way, in that, it's very much necessary to express who we are as people, and to connect with people. Art brings us together, both in terms of interest, and literally, when it comes to design, and other more practical forms. I've wrestled with the idea that some art is more necessary than others, and such, inherently has more value than other art, but it's in thinking about that that it begins to make me question everything, and that takes me back to my original point, about the point of life, and contribution to society. I've lately got back into art, a bit, with regards to personal projects, and they're mostly all hobby, I've made small amounts of money off some, but it's passive for the most part. We're at a point now where art is becoming more of a commodity, being gripped by capitalism, and being an artist feels like a constant fight to prove your worth or necessity, as opposed to just creating. And that same thought extends to being a person, just enjoying, doing, not doing, just living. If we're not contributing to society, but creating for ourselves, and our enjoyment, is it not selfish? It feels so, and it feels like there's a certain amount of entitlement to be had with being a creative, because again, it's not like you're doing necessary work. Well, not that you are, but when you are, you find yourself doing up to someone elses standards, for someone else, and then those thoughts creep in, imposter syndrome, that constant need to improve, etc. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to think, I could just do and it be enough. But it seems with technology after jobs and the need to make more and more to live, the ability to just exist without feeling like a parasitic being is harder and harder.

[thewhystolife]

I've been more stressed lately, and over the past few years than I ever had in my life. And, to be honest, I think a lot of it was that my outlet for what goes on in my head used to be this, but for so long I was unable to access it, ultimately due to a filter issue within my Outlook (formerly Hotmail) account this was linked to. All that aside, I think maybe I should begin getting weird thoughts out on this, for, honestly, half the time it's not the thoughts that eat at me, the reasons for doing things or the missed chances or regret, it's simply that they remain in my head, there for the minions in my mind to find and then go on about over and over. All that to be said, I'm glad to be back in this little corner of cyberspace.

[thewhystolife]

Never Have I Ever... [2025-05-01]

It had been on her mind all week and now it was finally almost time.

'I hope he likes it...'

Nerves had her indecisive as fuck, changing up her outfit more times than she'd have liked but she finally settled on something. It was times like this where she wished she had more, eye catching outfits, but such was the life of a simple, quiet girl. Quiet on the outside, as her mind was anything but. And again, on this day, it was racing.

Racing through thoughts of lust, of desire, she knew that alcohol plus this wild mind of hers would completely juxtapose itself with the look she was giving off. Innocent, but just waiting to be proven naughty.

-bzzzz-

Her phone vibrated, a message from her partner flashing up on the screen.

'Gonna be here soon?' read the message. She'd been trying to figure out the perfect fit, lost in her mind, lost in her fantasy, but that reminded her this was was soon to be reality.

She stole one last glance in the mirror before grabbing her keys and phone and headed out.

After a short walk she ended up in front of her friend Sara's building. A nondescript brick building, she walked up the front path and towards the front doors. She shivered as she walked, not sure if nerves, the crisp autumn air or the anticipation of what was to come.

Finding the call box on the wall, she ran through the list of names until a familiar one popped up, and hit the call button. A buzz shortly followed announcing that the doors were unlocked and she pushed inside.

The ground floor lobby had a strange feeling to it, we'll call it the Vegas rule, one of those places that had seen so much over the years, but as they say, what happens in Vegas...

Ally walked over to the elevator and pressed the call button, checking herself out in the reflection of the elevator door while she waited; an oversized flannel was buttoned up to the collar, keeping in the warmth, but that was needed no longer. She worked down the buttons, letting it flow freely at her sides, revealing a black tank top underneath.

She posed a little, doing a bit of a spin as the shirt flowed around her. Adjusting the hem of her shirt and pulling down the top, she tried her best to make this simple outfit reflect her naughty mind, when suddenly the door opened. Caught in embarrassment she straightened back out, her hands shooting to her side as a (rather attractive she must say) guy walked appeared between the doors. She shuffled to the side as he walked past her, then looked back. As usual, a sixth sense must exist as she looked up and caught his stare, giving him a gotcha look, but once she got in the elevator it'd all be quite clear.

She stepped in and caught another glance at herself, once again in the reflection of the doors. Whether it was the chilly fall evening, or the excitement building inside, one look at her chest and you could tell exactly what that look was for.

The elevator took a second, but finally landed at the fourth floor. She stepped out into a faint cigarette smell, the hallways of the building akin to a cheap hotel, claustrophobic and confusing, but she eventually found her way to 402. She'd been there a million times but always had to check to be sure. There was little to no variance in the halls, the doors, the layout; it felt almost surreal. The faint sound of music could be heard, however, so she must have been there. She reached up and knocked on the rather plain door.

'Come on in!' a voice excitedly replied.

She entered the apartment to find everyone gathered in the small kitchenette. Her partner was sitting at the kitchen island, back to her while across the counter from them sat the voice that welcomed her in. A young couple, in their mid 20s, they had been friends for a few years now, some of the only close friends her and her partner had made since moving to the city.

'Ouu, look at you!' exclaimed Sara, 'Looking good miss!'

Smiling, Ally felt a boost of energy as the compliment lifted her. Her flannel flowed as she walked, tank-top tightly fitted around her chest, in her mind a perfect amount of cleavage visible.

'Damn babe.' her partner chimed in excitedly, spinning around in his seat to both greet and admire her. She slid onto a stool beside him as he welcomed her arrival with an arm around her waist.

Pleasantries and small talk weren't her forte, for someone as quiet as her, she preferred to be forward, albeit somewhat awkward in delivery. Tonight however, she displayed none of those signs, a confidence she wished followed her more often in life.

'You guys remember the game 'never have I ever?''

She asked this question with confidence, but anxiety about what they'd think quickly brought her back down. They were in their late 20s after all and it was quite a juvenile game, but to her surprise Sara replied with a chuckle:

'I mean, yeah, as a kid, but never have I ever played it as an adult.'

'You should! ' Ally replied, rather excitedly.

'And you should drink up then!'

She looked at her, confused, then caught on as she noticed the smirk on her face.

'You whore... ' was her reply as she grabbed a red cup, then paused for a second as she looked over the choices of alcohol.

'Take your pick!' replied Sara, 'plenty to go around'

It was an easy choice as saw a bottle of Patrón and filled her glass. She needed that confidence back, but also knew the connotation associated with tequila...

'Guess I'll go next' chimed Matt. 'Never have I ever... thought I'd be playing this game at 28' he chuckled and preemptively raised a beer in salute.

'Cheers?'

That brought a smile from them all. He put his back down and gestured at the drinks on the table.

'Whatchu guys want?' asked Matt as he pried the tab open on his beer, a double IPA and took a drink.

'Hmm... ' Sara looked over her options. The table had an array of choices, beer so light it may as well be in a water bottle, craft beer that apparently Matt loved, cider, always popular vodka coolers, the tequila Ally made her own, and some wine.

She pondered for a second before grabbing a vodka cooler and taking a sip.

'Mango pineapple, good choice.' noted Luca. He deliberated for a second before grabbing a cider and cracking the top. 'Heard good things about this, I'll give it a try.'

Who's next? Ally asked, eager to get the game going.

'I think that'd be you, miss.' Matt suggested, as he gave Sara a playful nudge. She took a second to ponder options, thinking as she spoke

'Never have I ever... hmm.. been arrested.' stated Sara.

She threw a curious glance around the table, everyone's suspicious eyes darting from person to person, before Matt reached for his drink.

'Ouu, bad boy over here, what'd you do?' Sara asked, teasingly.

'I spray painted a big blue dick on a sign...' replied Matt with a snicker.

'Tryin' to compensate for something eh there?' teased Sara.

That brought an eye roll from Matt, but everyone's attention had quickly shifted.

'Do I tell them... that summer I got caught... ' thought Ally, her hand restlessly tapping the table, slowly inching towards her drink.

'Do we have another criminal in our presence?' joked Sara,

Early in their relationship, they found themselves parked in a secluded area, a pretty normal thing for young couples lusting for each other, and one thing lead to another. It was late, dark, and they were completely lost in each other. Maybe it was the fogged up windows, maybe the fact they were the only car in this otherwise empty lot, but they got quickly interrupted by a sharp knock on the window.

They scrambled to slide back into clothes and cover themselves up how ever possible. Long story short, it was indeed a cop and he was just doing rounds, maybe proving the ACAB label, maybe just trying to keep tabs on the neighbourhood. They ended up getting a stern talking to, and a promise to avoid any trouble if they just left, but this was closer than she thought she'd get.

She looked at her partner with a bit of a guilty eye. He shot her a puzzled look, before the light-bulb turned on and he smirked.

'We didn't get arrested though, ' he whispered to her.

This was the main thing, he was right there. Just a warning. But she had thought about that constantly. She was the one who wanted to go for the drive, who made the move. Did she want to get caught by the cops? Not particularly, but the thrill of being out in public had her beyond the point of no return once he acknowledged her intent.

She laid her hand back down, a slightly disappointed look coming across her face.

Sara was looking at her intently, 'Ohh, maybe we do have one over here, hmm'?

Ally looked down, then spilled the details. Sara and Matt laughed;

'Happened to us too, a few times to be honest. Once was a cop, but a few close calls with randoms.'

Matt recalled the time when he was in the back with Sara, parked alongside a public trail, only to look up and make awkward eye contact with a man out with his dog.

'Did he catch on to what was going on?' asked Ally, her curiosity piqued.

'Uh, I don't know, he kinda just gave friendly smile and kept walking his dog...'

'Ahh... ' Ally's voice trailed off as she looked back at Matt and then Luca.

She secretly wished there was more to the story. She slid her hand over Luca's thigh as she gestured with her eyes discretely. The subject matter had began to take her mind into somewhat naughty waters, and she hoped her subtle actions could do the same to his.

'Do you guys wanna move this to the living room? It's a bit more comfortable over there than these hard stools...'

'Yeah, sure, make yourselves at home. We'll be over there in a sec.' replied Sara.

They got up from the kitchen and made their way over to the couch, placing their drinks on the coffee table as they settled into the low, well worn couch. Ally sat down and laid against Luca, almost melting into her partner. She began to slide her hand across her partners thigh. Noticing it, he grabbed a blanket laying over the armrest and tried to cover her move, subtly, but

'Hey guys, keep it PG over there...'

That statement had Ally tingling, yet she was torn, knowing if she let her inhibitions she'd be far beyond PG, but she was also with friends, and was it really the time or place...

Sara and Matt returned to join them, Matt sitting sit down on the floor across the coffee table from them and Sara finding comfort in a beanbag chair.

Shall we continue? 'Earth to Ally, you with us'?

Ally was still lost in her mind, and finding it hard to contain herself.

'Never have I ever had a fantasy I hadn't told my partner' she blurted out, biting her lip gently in the process.

Everyone looked at each other, suspiciously, then, Ally reached for her cup. This brought a curious look from her partner...

'Babe'?, Luca replied in surprise.

'Nothing, it's nothing, I'll tell you later...' replied Ally, somewhat defensively.

'Ally come on, what is ittt?' begged Luca.

Ally looked down. He seemed oblivious to the hand creeping under the blanket laid across Luca's lap.

Sara, sensing the tension, took that moment;

'Hey guys. I gotta pee, I'll be right back'.

She got up, and Matt, not wanting to awkwardly third wheel, headed to the kitchen.

'Babe, you can tell me...'

She looked away, shyly and took a long drink.

“Ummm..”

He gave her a reassuring glance.

Do you remember that time last summer, when your friend uh, caught us...

Her partner paused a second in thought, remembering the time when he thought they were alone in the apartment only to have their roommate walk up behind them while they were rather uh, busy, on the couch.

'Yeah, I do, what about it?'

She pondered how to word it, nervously piecing together her reply. This was something she'd often thought about, but didn't want to be judged.

Welll... I kinda... uh.. I didn't mind...'

Her partners eyes widened.

'But... you were first to cover us up, to blush, to try to cover things up...' Luca retorted.

'I didn't wanna make things weird...'

She noticed his wrap around her.

'You wanted her to see... didn't you...?

'I.. uh.. maybe I...' she replied, blushing. He began to slide his hand down, cupping her breast and giving it a light squeeze.

'Luca is now really the...' he cut her off with a kiss.

She could sense he was beginning to understand made Ally's mind tick, but she needed the confidence yet. She poured out a sizable amount of tequila and chugged it all, firmly placing the empty cup back on the table before returning a very seductive gaze back to Luca. Right at that moment Matt reappeared, a large bowl of chips in his hands.

'I thought you guys might want a snack'

He slid the bowl across the coffee table offered to them, but they were already lost in each other.

'Never have I ever walked in on my friends getting it on...' he said, sarcastically.

Ally heard everything, and received it with a smile as she leaned in and kissed him deeply. He welcomed it, his coming to rest on her lower back as the made out passionately.

'Get a room would ya?' sneared Matt, chuckling.

Ally looked into her partners eyes, and in that moment she knew she couldn't keep it a secret any longer.

'What if we don't want to, Matt...'

Whether it was escalating tension in the games of never have you ever, that had upped the tension to an uncontrollable level, the alcohol, or the thought of the fantasy finally playing out, she simply couldn't contain herself any more.

'...what if the thought of being watched turns me on...?' she replied with a devious smile.

She slid her leg over his lap, straddling him as her lips found his in a suffocating embrace. Luca's hands grabbed her chest as Ally's facial expressions told Matt everything.

'Mmm, fuckk...'

She exhumed as his touch had her breathless. Her eyes rolled back as she fully let the ecstasy of the moment wash over her. He toyed with her chest, teasing fingers over her nipples, now clearly poking through the thin cotton.

Matt sat in silence for a second, unsure of how to respond to that. What would Sara think? He raised his drink to his lips and took a big drink.

He looked back at them, still lost in each other, Lucas now under her shirt, hands full.

Ally was fully in the moment now, drunk with the thought of fantasy or just drunk she wasn't sure. She playfully leaned and fell down again into the couch beside him, knowing full well her secret was now out.

'Hey Matt' she asked. He looked up from his phone to see Ally holding her shirt up, tits fully exposed. Luca laughed, and reached for his can of cider.

He gave it a shake as he picked it up, nearly empty. He looked at Ally, lost in her moment of exhibitionism, and began to lift himself up off the couch.

'I'm gonna grab another drink, anyone want anything?'

He lifted himself off the couch to stand and she seized her moment. Readjusting herself from a seated position to her knees she reached up and grabbed the waist of his pants, pulling herself closer to the prize she knew she wanted.

'I might...' she said with a smirk, eyes meeting his. Her friends partner sat there, eyes wide as this came as quite a surprise despite the nature of the game they were quite engrossed in.

He looked at her, shocked, but she paid no mind to it. She ran her fingertips over the crotch of his jeans. The outline of his cock was visible through his jeans. She knew his uncertainty was bullshit. He wanted this just as much as she did.

Matt sat there, silent at first, still most likely trying to process what had unfolded so quickly.

'Never have I ever thought I'd watch my friend getting a blowjob...' he said under his breath as he looked up at them again, then picked up his phone, thinking it best to distract himself rather than feel like a creep... but he just couldn't look away...

Teasing her fingers up the shape of him, she turned towards her audience of one and smiled, giving a subtle nod.

'Like what you see?'

He was somewhat still in awe of what had transpired, fixated on the scene unfolding before his eyes, completely lost for words.

She smirked as her two hands worked on his jeans to unbutton the fly, but the work was almost done for her with how much his dick was straining. She made quick work of the button and quickly slid the zipper pull down, the subject of her lust now only a thin layer of fabric away.

For Luca, time seemed to stand still while all of this took place. Maybe nerves, but he seemed to be at the mercy of her touch. Lost in the moment, this was lust in the moment as he felt himself throb.

'Holy fuck, is this really happening'? he thought as she slowly teased the waist band away and down, revealing him in a rather dramatic fashion.

That reveal came back to reality.

'Okay my cock is fully out in front of my partners friend.. what the fuck...'

The thought raced through his mind somewhat unbelievably as all the blood in his body was currently in one place. He glanced over at Matt, sitting on the floor across from him, the only thing keeping him from being fully in view was his partners head, now level with his waist.

She slowly reached up and teased her finger up the underside of his shaft, then slid her hand around and began to stroke his cock. He filled her hand, maybe even more so now, veins throbbing.

'Holy fuck, where did this side of her come from...?', he thought, in between sighs of pleasure. Would she? He knew if she did he'd cum immediately...

She slowly stuck out her tongue mimicking a lick, then kissed the swollen tip of his dick. Looking up at him to enjoy his reaction, she slowly eased it past the head with every bob of her head, inch by inch in her mouth until her nose touched his stomach. His hands naturally found themselves in her wavy blonde hair while she played, both teasing it from her face and toying with it, trying to find a way to express the pleasure building from her touch, all the while pushing her for more.

Completely overcome by lust at this point she wrapped her hands around him, doing the job he had began and pulled him as deep as humanly possible down her throat, then pulled away completely, strings of saliva stretching between her lips and his balls as she gasped for breath.

'Mmm, Ally, fuckk...'

'Yeah Ally, god damn...!'

She froze, deer in the headlights. Sara and Matt were standing at the kitchen island, watching them intently.

Ally had been so caught up their fun that she hadn't noticed Matt get up and leave...

'Sara? I thought you were gone? ' she mentioned in a confused tone.

Sara laughed before she replied;

'Gone? Matt texted me that you guys were having a bit too much fun.., and I was curious'

'I, welll.. we... uh yeah...' She looked up at Luca who looked back at her with a smile before finishing her thought.

'...we got a little carried away. You were gone, Matt was on his phone... We couldn't help it..'

'Hey, it's all good, we enjoyed the show', Sara replied, smoothing out any tension with a sly smile.

I think were going to call it a night though.'

Ally looked at the clock on the wall, ' Jeez, 11pm already,'

'Time flies when you're having fun I guess' Sara cheekily replied

Ally wiped the spit from her lips, grabbing a hold of her partners arm as he lifted her to her feet.

'That it does, yeah.' She paused for a second, lost in thought as the magnitude of what just unfolded hit her.

'I guess we'll uh, head out now...', she stated,

They headed back through the kitchen, to the front entry way, Lucas fixing his pants as they walked.

Sara and Matt followed close behind, the events of the night seemingly in Luca's mind as Matt noticed him wrap his arm around her, lower even than just a friendly embrace.

'Thanks for coming over guys, maybe we'll do it again...'

Sara then watched as Lucas opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Ally paused when she heard her name.

'Hey Ally.'

'Never have I ever thought you had that in you...'

Ally smirked as she walked through the door knowing this was just the beginning.

[thewhystolife]

who are we?

I always wonder what the voice inside our head really is. How we can communicate with ourselves, and in what we presume as an audible manner, yet no sound is being taken in, it's all a figment of our imagination, if you will. How we can convey whole conversations, multiple languages, accents, tone, levels, and yet unless we speak, it stays inside, damned to ever be heard.

How crazy is it that we're creating, and interpreting things in our mind, and it's the quality of our other abilities, be it speech, or fine motor skills that translates it into something easily understood?

It's little things, the fact the voice always has the same level, the fact that if your voice is a whisper, it'll never be more. Scream in your head, and it'll come out soft as silk.

It really makes you wondering. Makes you think.

Are we truly one? Or is the physical form really just a vessel, something to contain our true self, our soul?

[thewhystolife]

It's odd how it seems like in a relationship conversations that shouldn't happen, interest and messages responded to instead of left on read are frequent and then the second you get somewhat out, or, free in a sexual sense, things go drier than the Sahara..

Maybe I'm just bad at small talk, or getting right to the point, or I've ruined my chances, but it just seems so strange.

Cruel twist of fate? Or karma coming back to get me?

[thewhystolife]

transit. [nsfw]

He always found the back of the bus more comfortable than the front, quieter, more isolated.

Perfect for when you need that time alone.

She got on the bus at the next stop, wandering down the aisle, looking for an empty seat. Not easy at 6pm on a Friday, everyone just dying to get home. The heat didn't help either. 100 degrees and climbing.

Humid.

In a bus like this, inpatient, disgruntled people everywhere?

Hell.

Continuing past the middle aged office workers, the students heading back from uni, and the moms fighting losing battles with their kids, she headed towards the sanctity of the back.

He looked up as she passed, a pale, blonde haired girl, her pierced lip and choker catching his eye. His mind had been wandering all day, and it now found itself dancing around her presence. Averted his gaze as she looked around for a seat, although their eyes met when she scanned in his direction.

'Back of the bus again, eh?, she remarked, smirking, as she settled in, choosing the seat in the corner.

Her warmth drew him in, out of his seat and over to her, stumbling as the bus pulled away from the stop. He almost fell over her as it lurched away, only managing to keep up with a hand on her chest and one on the handle of the seat, much to her amusement.

'Sorry' was instant, but as he noticed her reaction, his embarrassment turned to a relieving smile as he let himself fall over her into the corner window seat, settling in beside her.

She shifted closer, her white sun dress riding higher as it caught in the seat; her lace panties becoming visible, albeit very briefly.

That widened his eyes, although he tried to remain casual, looking ahead as if to hide the fact he saw. Hands kept in his lap, his gaze then shifted, mindlessly, out the window

'Been a while, hasn't it?', she asked, as she slid her hand across his leg

His mind began to process, quicker now as he was almost at a loss;

'Yeah, it's been a bit

She continued moving her hand across, looking over as their eyes met

'How have things been with you?', he inquired, trying to maintain composure

'Good, good,', but her mind had been tuned to a different frequency ever since his hand cupped her tit...

Sliding it down the inside of his thigh now, she smirked, gaze still fixed on him as she tried to coax out another side of him. She could already feel him under her touch...

He glanced down, then back to her,

'Here? We're-'

'In the back of the bus, nobodies here. You've talked about this for a while...'

She was right, they'd spilled countless secrets over Snapchat, fantasies and kinks revealed, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't into the moment...

Her hands teased over his leg, his cock hardening as they brushed over it. His mind was racing now as she caressed, from gentle brushing to full on stroking, her hand grasping him through his denim shorts. He looked around, expecting a disapproving glance or two, but all he saw were backs of heads, everyone looking ahead, just wanting to get home.

Each stop was an exercise in risk assessment, as with every new passenger came the chance someone would spot their naughty escapade. So far so good though, as they'd managed 3 stops without so much as a glance back at them.

Caught up in the moment, he looked back down to her, a quick hand having unbuttoned his shorts and was now sliding inside.

'Guess we're almost at our stop..', she mentioned, now grabbing his cock firmly, jerking up and down.

She continued this for a few minutes, working him well, varying her stroke as his breathing deepened. He was visibly affected now, leaning back in his seat, trying to stay as calm as possible. He knew any second he could cum.

She teased her hand along his boxers waistband, then slid inside, her touch finally finding skin...

just as the bus pulled into the terminal.

[thewhystolife]

game over. [nsfw]

It was plain to see what she was doing to him. His jeans were taught, stretched tightly across his very sizable member, twitching in agony as she sat beside him. Her hand teased across his lap as she glanced up at him, his gaze fixated on the TV, his attention fully stolen by another round of Overwatch.

Seemingly endless, she had to do something. And subtly, she did.

Reaching across, she tapped her fingers on him, crawling up the outline as he paid no notice. She began to slide up, down, up to the waistband of his shorts, and then back again, her intent clear.

He was clearly hard. But if he wasn't going to pay attention to her, she was going to make his life hell.

She began to stroke, the girth filling her fingers as she gently caressed his pulsing cock. She toyed, teased and tickled her fingers over him as she eagerly looked up for a response.

Nothing. Eyes fixed on the screen.

Back to his waist she went, only the elastic of his shorts keeping him contained. Easy enough...

She had to though, she wanted it.

She needed it.

Slowly, she worked the zipper down, the cloth of his boxers in revealed.

Bananas. How fitting.

She was teasing herself just as much as him now, the paper thin fabric all that stood between her and her prize.

Slowly she pulled it down, his cock slowly coming into view. Inch by inch, she truly forgot how big it really was. The tension was clear now, cocked and loaded, if you will, as she finally freed him, his cock springing up forcefully.

'Fuck...', she sighed, smirking. It felt like she had been punched in the jaw, 9 inches right to the chin.

She recoiled, leaning back, looking up to see if he had seen what had just unfolded.

Nothing.

Oh well, she thought, as she took his cock in her hand and slid her lips over the tip, gently stroking him. She continued this for a few minutes, sensually teasing the head and twirling her tongue as he remained engrossed in his game.

His breathing deepened, legs spread further as he adjusted himself, giving her the best angle to really work him. She rolled her eyes and began to massage his balls with her other hand, slowly sliding his cock deeper, then all at once, right down her throat. Gagging as he filled her mouth, she was determined to take it all. She wanted it after all, and she wasn't about to come up short. She gurgled and gagged on him, covering his cock in her spit, lubing it up in hopes she'd be able to make it disappear.

Inch by inch, gag after gag, close call after close call she finally did it. Her tongue met his balls, and with that it was confirmed. With her head bobbing up and down, she confirmed her skill, cock thrusting deeply down her throat, tears of struggle and joy beginning to drip down her throat. She felt him twitch, his cock convulse as she knew what was next.

What was cumming.

A spurt of cum, then another, a huge load, shooting off the roof of her mouth, spilling out onto him like a bubbling volcano.

God damn.

He had to have loved that. How long had be been waiting to be treated that way?

She glanced back up at him, mouthful of cum, eyes gleaming, looking for a reaction...

'Fuck...' he exclaimed,

as his characters health reached zero.

[thewhystolife]

left on read [nsfw]

She knew from the moment she replied to the snap she was in for a night; her chat history spoke to what she was. Who she was.

The girl with the lethal smile, the girl the guys loved and the girls wished they were.

Petite, charming, witty.

Dangerous.

Hardly a minute went by after she'd put her phone down, and there was a buzz from her door. The surprise had her almost dropping her vape she unwrapped her nearly nude body from the clutches of the sheets, excitedly jumping up from her bed. The buzz was abruptly followed by some knocks, and then her name, echoing as she bounded down the hall.

He was a unassuming guy, average height, weight, but upon opening the door she found herself consumed by his presence. arms wrapped tightly around her in an embrace as she melted into him.

'Are you ever fully dressed?' he asked, pleasantly surprised;

'Wheres the fun in that?' she replied, sliding from his grasp, motioning for him to follow as she walked back inside, the tone in her voice setting a playful mood.

He followed her lead, the pair going back deeper into the house, a modest bungalow, air thick with vapor and smelling quite strongly of weed.

The setting sun played wonderfully with the conditions, rays of orange and pink danced through the haze, highlighting her silhouette as she laid back, then sat on the bed, an angel just so eager to sin. She glanced back at him with a smirk, raising the sleek vape to her mouth as he settled down beside her on the bed, his hands already seemingly with a mind of their own as they found the sheets, then her hip, as he pulled himself closer.

'Been a while, hasn't it?', she muttered softly, covering his face with smoke as she exhaled, an action that pushed him over the edge.

His hands slid up her petite torso as he then swiftly and forcefully tossed her down into the bed, her body going limp as she hit the sheets. Her eyes rolled back with the force as a million fantasies played out in her mind.

He was in control, and she knew it.

She teased for it.

She wanted it.

Rough hands mapped over her as he kept her pinned with a stare, and a smirk as if to say 'You're mine now.'

Lines drawn from hips, to tiny tits, to that angel face signaled his intentions, illiciting soft gasps as he progressed. Gasps that only made him want more, to take more, his pants visibly straining under the tension of the moment. She smiled, her work obvious as eyes darted from his, down, and back up to meet that devilish grin.

Actions spoke louder than words as she took back what little control she had and ran a slender hand up his thigh, along the prevalent outline; one that had her pulsing with excitement, heartbeats in time as he throbbed under the denim.

'You want something, don't you darling...?

He took her back with his eyes, the connection speaking far more than words ever could, implications all but confirmed as she teased the button of his jeans. Her eyes never left his as she popped it out, then began to release the tension, slowly, control back in her hands as she worked the zipper down. Eyes darted back and forth as she excitedly awaited the moment, the freedom, the prize she had been craving ever since she last hit send.

Seconds seemed like hours as leaning in she worked his pants down, the size of him now explicitly clear as she let out an audible gasps.

'Oh. My. God.'

She was a tiny girl, but even her arm paled in comparison. from wrist to elbow, his cock lay. Hard pressed against the fabric, throbbing. She'd fooled around with toys, lipstick containers and small aerosol cans, but this was nothing like she'd ever seen.

Easily 3 inches wide, probably 12 long, the only comparison would be to a couple beer cans stacked.

Shit.

All she could do was stare, her expression widening as she had to take it out.

His waistband strained as she pulled it up and over, the tension released as she eclipsed his girth, cock springing up, whipping back under the strain. He wasn't a tall guy, 5'9 at most, and this was easily the last thing she'd expected.

From base to tip it stood at attention, laying up against his chest. She was sitting up now, attention fully on the monster she had just released.

'Fuckk...' as she began to curl her hand around it, realizing quickly that she was going to need both hands to even begin to handle this. Glancing back up at him, she began to stroke, both hands wrapped as his breath deepened.

He reached out and slid one hand under her light bralette, stretching his hand between her breasts, teasing both nipples as he laid her back down. Straddling her, he sat on her hips, his cock easily past her chest. One hand brought moans as the other slipped into her lace panties, fingers sliding between the lips of her pussy, already soaking wet. Her eyes rolled back with his touch, hips subconsciously grinding into his hand;

'Mmmmmf, yesss....'

He continued teasing her as she lay, one finger, then two, deep inside her, leaning down to complement the play with his tongue on her chest, twirling around her small nipples. thrusting as he toyed, she wasn't the only one teased by his play.

Mentally he was gone, set on her body, focused. Foreplay only played with his mind more as her shrieks, her moans, the feeling of his cock, deep inside her echoed in his sexually strained thoughts.

He just couldn't take it.

She was his; those lace panties?

Gone.

Ripped off.

In an instant he threw her legs over her head, laid himself down between her legs and began to push inside. Her legs were forced apart as he struggled to get even his head inside.

'Mmm, ahhhh, fuckkk...' she moaned, an ambience interspersed with shrieks of pain as she took each inch.

He had her pinned back, one hand now up tightly around her throat, what little control she had now completely gone. She was wet, soaked, hornier than she ever had been, and now she was being torn apart. Thrusts began to quicken, her vagina stretching to accommodate him as he finally got deeper, finally sunk the full girth of his shaft inside her.

'Ahhh, my gooddddd...!" she winced as he filled her up, the pain nearly bringing her to tears. In and out, she was but his toy.

He found his rhythm, she lost her voice as seconds became minutes, became hours.

'Having fun you little slut?' he asked, almost rhetorically, as she was losing energy by the minute,

'Yess... daddy... unf... just fuck me...'

Slap.

She shrieked;

Slap.

'Don't tell me what to do. You're mine.'

He hammered his point, and cock, home with quick, deep thrusts, hand tightening on her throat, eyes now locked on hers, a glare keeping her at bay. He could see the fear in her eyes, but she knew she wanted it. Through tears, shock and pain, she was his.

And he was just getting started.

This was just the beginning.

She had no idea what she was in for.

[thewhystolife]

better to shoot before you aim?

There's something puzzling about the nature of relationships. Of intimacy and consent. Of what is expected and how communication although key, isn't always required or even wanted.

Some will say they like that aggressive, controlling, confident personality. One that will take what they want, fulfill their desires and in that dominate their partner. Is it healthy to push on and have that confidence, testing the waters until they object, or is it better to communicate kinks and preferences, planning out and almost ruining the spontaneity of the moment?

Cocky guys will catch the eye, but if they leave you broken, what do you get out of it?

Shy guys require that attention, will be safe, but is that lack of risk a turn off?

At the end of the day we're not mind readers, and despite craving that confident, controlling guy; what is it worth when you can't quantify trust and are more or less gambling?

How do we satisfy desires when we never know what they are? Is mind reading now a prerequisite to get in a girls pants?

[thewhystolife]

desire drugs.

It’s so easy to succumb to desire, so hard to avoid. Chasing that dopamine rush, taking in that instant happiness. It’s addiction, it’s a drug.

It ruins your life.

[thewhystolife]

split personalities.

There’s something fascinating and maybe a bit worrying about the trope of that average Joe by day, killer by night, about that specific side of human psychology.  The fact that someone can compartmentalize things so well that brutally taking the life of someone can be pushed aside as easily as forgetting someone’s birthday. Worrying even more so, because that same concept can translate through to any number of dichotomies, be it of a serial killer, an unfaithful partner, a pathological liar. 

Being able to so clearly split lives is such a worrying, yet intriguing concept. I’m willing to bet the majority do it, have those guilty pleasures, those dirty little secrets. But from the outside, it’s one in the same. Nobody knows, secrets are secrets until revealed, and it’s in that that you can start to worry. Someone could have any one of these guilty pleasures, live with those alter egos, these secrets but as it is, that’s inherently the biggest problem with it all.  It’s also in that that you extend the thought to trust, the idea of it, and really how when it comes down to it, there is no way to quantify levels of trust, and beyond that, as long as someone knows what to say, it’s nearly impossible. It’s so dangerous, this idea, and yet, it’s the basis of so many things in our lives. So many happy marriages could be facades for a terrible killer, the coworker that seems so perfect, punctual and persistent that who has been at the heart of an office rape scandal, yet is nothing but a myth, and even that gym addicted bro, hard as nails but confines in Ariana Grande, you can’t tell the difference.  Hide it well enough, articulate these two lives perfectly, and it’s as if one life truly is two.  I’m not saying there are serial killers in all of us, just that if there were, we’d have no sweet clue.

[thewhystolife]

tranzit.

There's something comfortable about public transit

How it whisks you around from place to place with ease, all strain taken away as you can relax, unwind and enjoy the intimacy of the system. Taking in the everyday lives of those around you and putting stories to faces as people watching is taken to the next level

Conversations casual become taboo, unwritten rules bare their heads and unusual is the status quo.

From the morning commute, to the nights interspersed with drunks, the club goers, the hopeful homeless all trying to find their way.

My fascination with transit, is a fascination with life.

[thewhystolife]

07.05.19 || my third wish has always been three more; . . . #mobo #summer? #stripes https://www.instagram.com/p/BxKinzCnlgV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bb9xxn171g8f

[thewhystolife]

Drones Got You Covered

It's so disheartening to think that the ignorance of childhood is also what perpetuates most conspiracy theories... and yet that there are those who still believe some wild things

I love conspiracy theories as much as the next one, but watching simple science debunk so many makes me wish that I could be that silly, uninformed kid again

There are still theories I believe in, but even the knowledge that most theories are either pure fallacy or by definition, just that, saddens me.

Take aliens for example. Or the supernatural. We have no way to currently completely disprove the existence of either. But in that, there is a comfort that we can live either blissfully ignorant or somewhat hopeful.

And I think its that grey area that keeps our imagination rich. Fuels our passion to ironically, discover and learn more.

And it's the desire to discover that keeps us alive.

[radbeetle]

Today - March 09, 2019 - would have been the 50th birthday of Adam Adamowicz.

Some of you might not recognize the name - he was a concept artist at Bethesda. Not just any concept artist, but the driving force behind the visual style of Fallout 3. 

[The Life and Creativity of A Great Bethesda Artist] was written back in 2015, shortly before the release of Fallout 4, and, as a creative person, it’s still an important read, I think. Though I certainly never met the man, his work, and the games that built upon it, have had a huge influence in my life, and I’ve drawn so much inspiration from them. 

““Have no fear of perfection,” said Dali, “You’ll never reach it.” Adam took that lesson to heart. He had no fear of the blank page; he did not fear failure. He wanted to learn. He wanted to grow.”

I think a lot about what I’ve learned from this article, from everything I’ve heard about Adam, and I know that even from so far away, even after he’s been gone for years, he’s had one hell of an impact on my life - and the lives of countless others. 

Bethesda has shared hundreds of pieces of his concept art from Fallout 3 over on Flickr (the source of all the images in this post, though they’re much lower resolution here) and I encourage everyone to browse through them. [Fallout 3 Concept Art from Adam Adamowicz]

[nuka-tec]

I was late on this, but RIP to a true legend. The man who made the retro future a reality. The man who did more for the Fallout series than anyone could have imagined. A man who fought the good fight… and ultimately paid the price.

RIP Adam Adamowicz.