An Artist @thewilde - Tumblr Blog

Their Eyes Were Watching Black Women

Magazine clippings•Glitter•Modge Podge

Making stickers 😈

I'm writing again. Or free styling with consistency? Working through lyrics out loud without writing them down but recording, memorizing and replacing pieces?

#gif #me

#OCNY March 28, 2017 $5 21+ Starr Bar BK (at Starr Bar)

#ocny

ifiamanrtist

This was the first piece of my series A Place Dead Flowers Bloom. The alter was created from crutches and one of 4 casts i wore after i broke my ankle and leg in 2015. The interactive exhibit encouraged spectators to use smell, listen, play, and pray.

I was coerced by a friend in 2015 a few months before my ankle injury that forced me to return to my childhood home where not only did i have to heal physically, but mentally and emotionally. I had lost control and my sense of self. “I used to wear flowers in my hair” I would say. My hoop, that i once carried with me everywhere, was tucked in the back of my closet. I had no sexual appetite, no attachment to my body, i lost another 10lbs, i stopped praying.

In creating A Place Dead Flowers Bloom I recreated myself.

My piece for #OperationConsentLA

“I might learn to let go if you learn to hold on.

If your sister is carrying too much weight, reach out when she cannot.

Ask me what i need before assuming what you have is helpful.

Sometimes we need help helping our sisters.”

In this piece I wanted to show my experience in feeling alone after my friend raped me and needing to ask for help and support, but not being able to ask because of pride, fear, and frustration. But my sister reached out to me. she asked me what i needed. she asked me how i was feeling. she called our other sisters and they lifted me up. the higher i rose, the more flowers cascaded down. I went from empty to full of beauty, inspiration, forgiveness and hope.

#operationconsentla #i cannot complain #shabari #sexual assualt #rape culture #performance art #ifiamannartist

ifiamanrtist

“If I Am An Artist” series x Amahl

Song Written and Performed by Vocals: Elize (IG: @CyborgShawty) Guitarist: Chris James (IG:@Hellastrings)

fashiondailymag

silver cape sparkle party.

naeem khan.

(ph @paulterrie x @fashiondailymag)

how am i curating a show on rape culture and the importance if consent when i can't even speak up for myself. how am i supposed to empower survivors, when i am a victim. i feel so stupid.

tonight is the first time I've been able to acknowledge and admit i was raped. i have only ever spoken of it as something i didn't want to do but went along with it. i have always had a hard time saying no. making others feel uncomfortable. i don't like to fight. i don't like to argue. i don't like to blame others. i take a lot of things on that i probably shouldn't. i don't like to disappoint or to be on bad terms with people. i will apologize when I'm not wrong because i see that multiple people play a role in each situation. i will cling to supporting people that have hurt me because i always want to be loving.i feel very weak right now. i feel very exhausted. i have been carrying this with me for months. Coercion is not a yes. No is not a yes. Silence is not a yes. I really am struggling and have been struggling with self love because i hate myself for allowing someone to take advantage of me and not being able to fully speak up for myself. guilting someone, telling them they better, telling someone they owe you, playing mr nice guy, are all fucked up ways to get someone to fuck you. i hate that i count say stop. i hate that i said i didn't want to because he wanted to instead of just saying no. i hate that i went back the next day to hang out. i hate that i pretended everything was fine. i hate that i played it off after like it was something we both wanted. he had a 2 inch dick. why the fuck would i willingly fuck him? oh because i didn't. because i was vulnerable with no place to go and didn't want to be alone. fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

#TW: rape #coercion