The Snicket File

It is my sad duty to inform you that this blog is completely dedicated to Lemony Snicket. the Baudelaire orphans, and anyone else related to either party. I would advise you not to follow this blog. If you do, you do so at your own risk.

[formerlymsw]

like im sorry to say this but hating the bad guy from the new star wars movies isn’t a replacement for an actually interesting personality

[starawr-deactivated20200502]

[wwinterweb]

Funny  Marriage Tweets (see 13 more)

[penelopefeatheringtonss]

“Sometimes I’m afraid I’m happy, but because I expect it to be something else, I question the experience. So now, when in doubt,“ she shrugged with true bravado, “I’ll assume I’m happy.” ― Carrie Fisher, Postcards from the Edge

[snorlaxatives]

first day of 2018: some ugly youtuber with bad hair films, exploits, and makes a mockery of a suicide victim

second day of 2018: the president has a big dick contest with kim jong un and threatens nuclear war

[idontexistanymore1-deactivated2]

Mmmmm ok pack I️t up y’all 2018 is canceled

[kntryradiotexas]

Okay but North and South Korea have reopened peace talks and a drone service has started delivering blood and medicine to remote hospitals in Rwanda that need it, in less than 30 minutes from the request being placed

We are not going to sit around and exclusively moan about the bad things for all of 2018 again. We are not doing this again. I can’t take it anymore.

[anunfortunatecomic]

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[coral]

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator (via feellng)

[interstate-k8]

I’m not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one’s efforts. I’m not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it’s the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them.

Daniel Handler - aka: Lemony Snicket (via shesgotmermaidhair)

[dreamonrepeat]

And their lives were lousy with lousiness, from terrible people to horrible meals, from terrifying locations to horrifying circumstances, and from dreadful inconveniences to inconvenient dreads, so that it seemed that their lives would always be lousy, lousy with lousy days and lousy with lousy nights, even if all of the lousy things with which their lives were lousy became less lousy, and less lousy with lousiness, over the lousy course of each lousy-with-lousiness moment, and with each new lousy mushroom, making the cave lousier and lousier with lousiness, it was almost too much for the Baudelaire orphans to bear.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (The Grim Grotto) by Lemony Snicket (via dreamonrepeat)

[orcdorc]

There’s an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.

Lemony Snicker, Who Could That Be at This Hour? (via fuzzyredhowloid)

[d4untless]

She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me in tight, and I swear I feel my soul brush against hers. I expand beyond the boundaries of Dylan’s body, out until I am the waves crashing on the beach, the sun shining in her hair, the wind that sweeps over our skin. I am everything and nothing and exist only because this girl presses her heart to mine.

Stacey Jay, Romeo Redeemed (via d4untless)

[theworldisquietherevfd]

OOPS. I've accidentally been reblogging stuff on here that I meant for my main blog, literaryabortions. So sorry! I'll delete the random stuff and stick with ASOUE on this one. Thanks.

[d4untless]

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid (via d4untless)

[26scriptum]

“I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”

Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril (via 4dele)

[the-wildunknown]

[teenwolflestat]

It is useless for me to describe the force of the wind that tore through the sails as if they were paper, and sent the boat spinning like an ice-skater showing off. It is impossible for me to convey the volume of rain that fell, drenching the Baudelaires in freezing water so their concierge uniforms clung to them like an extra layer of soaked and icy skin. It is futile for me to portray the streaks of lightning that clattered down from the swirling clouds, striking the mast of the boat and sending it toppling into the churning sea.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The End (Lemony Snicket)

[the-silhouette]

[quote-book]

“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.”

Lemony Snicket