The milk of human kindness
Walking across campus today, I saw a girl fall to the ground in hysterical sobs. At first I thought she was laughing; one of the cruelest tricks of human communication must be the similarity of a howling belly laugh to the hearbreaking wail. (Second cruelest trick: the passive aggressive "I'm fine", said through gritted teeth and pair with narrowed eyes.)
I couldn't see her face, only a faded henna tattoo on her hands that were pounding the pavement. No one else was stopping. No one even seemed to be looking. Is misery that common? Did everyone else know something that I didn't, the insincerity in her cries, that propelled them forward? Without sympathy, without even curiosity? I mean, screaming cries do break some social norms still, don't they?
Apparently they did know something I didn't. After an unsuccessful attempt to coax the girl into speaking, I made perplexed eye contact with a coed in a Varsity Blues sweater sitting on the grass. She looked at the girl seated a few metres away.
"Tell her." The other girl muttered.
"It's an experiment. For psych class."
"Oh. Uh. Okay." I said, immediately self conscious, and shuffled away.
I'm sure those students have notes on my response.Â
blond woman plaid shirt (grad student??) stops. looks at crying actress. looks around worried. pauses (considering?). drops to her knees. asks awkwardly, "Are you okay?"
"Are you okay? Can I help you? Can I get you some help?".
no answer, harder louder sobs. girl reaches out to touch actress on shoulder but pulls back her hand before making contact. looks around again. looks up and passing people. looks back at crying girl.
she gives up. she stands up, giving me a noncommittal shrug. "I tried", says the shrug, "You can't say I didn't try."
Total time invested in attempting empathy: 1 minute 17 seconds.
... is it bad that I wonder, what was my percentile ranking for empathy?
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