Everything is Fine

Thneedville is good, Thneedville is great-- Here's a friendly reminder-- Don't stay out late! Or else. -By order of The Mayor #tedville M!A: --

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

Gee, it'd be awful if people were to suddenly start bugging me with stupid questions.

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

so, like........ is this some sort of exclusive club, or.............

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

So are you grounded?

NOT ANYMORE HAHA SUCKERRRRRSSSS

Okay my mom's not a sucker if you say anything bad about her I'll clobber you

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

Wow, you're alive!

Surprise!!! I sure am! Why wouldn't I be?

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

buncha NERDS

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

Seen anything interesting around lately?

Lots of people pretending to be in a horror film.

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

woah

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

What's new, kiddo?

Absolutely nothing! Thneedville is still as boring as it's ever been with the same old song every morning, the same old smog, the same old slogans.. There's nothing new to do.

And I'm bored.

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

HERE COMES A SPECIAL BOY!!!! ohmygod aaaaAAAAAAAAA

[Young Ted meets the distressing situation with his usual uncompromising moral fortitude.]

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

Deez nuts

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

the cooties ate you? :v

..Mm-mm. Cooties can’t eat people.

[sleaghmaith-deactivated20151111]

oOF– [DOUBLES OVER]

….n n ng–

That was a…. good hit… ow

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

#i didnt deserve that#................ok maybe i did a little

-stays in a fighting stance, fists raised-

Thanks, I got more where that’s coming from if you try anything funny!! >:(

[sleaghmaith-deactivated20151111]

Ca-ching, kid. Ye guessed it. 

#I don’t think that’ll ever happen. Not to me. #I hate needles.

HA!! Ye think regular vampires liked drinkin’ blood before they turned batty? Naw, it doesn’t work like that. If ye catch the disease you will start cravin’ it, mark my words. ‘N’ guess what? Seein’ as I’m one o’ them now….

‘M also a carrier.

ooOOOoooOOOOOOoOHHhh!!!

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

.....

.............

-SCREAMS AND PUNCHES FENNY IN THE GUT-

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

“Hey, mom?”

Ted? Oh, hey, baby, what’s up?

“Mrs. Fairbairns daughter came by today..”

Oh, Audrey?

“..Uh huh. She wanted to pass a message on to you. Um.. She said her mom went on a canning spree and wanted to let you know that if you wanted anything, it’s ready for you to pick up.”

Ooooh, boy. You know I do, kiddo!  Could you be a sweetheart and pick it up for me? I’ll send you a list of what to get.

“..Sure thing, Mom.”

Thanks, Teddybear, your mama reaaally appreciates it. Now, Ted..

“..Yeah, Mom?”

..I’m having to stay late again tonight. I know, I know I promised you we’d go out tonight, just you and me, but we’re going to have to take a rain check on it. Work was a wreck today. I’m sorry, sweetie.

“..It’s okay, Mom. I know you’re working hard for everybody.”

Dinner’s in the fridge, okay, hun? Middle shelf, I’m sure you’ll find it! And Tedster..

“..Yeah?”

I love you, baby.

...

“I love you, too.”

[call ended]

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

Fix my ipod shuffle, I need my ATeens

$50.

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

What about a car?

Hey, if it's a machine, I can fix it. Simple as that.

He called me a punk

[celebrate-the-world-blog]

and a “devil child” if I remember correctly

[theworstpiesinthneedville]

I have no idea what he means by that, honestly. I'm a model citizen.