[thewritingblocker]

I wish we never hugged. I wish we never kissed. I wish we never did the things that would haunt me thereafter. I don't really know if I regret it or not, yet my day begins anew with the lingering thought of you in my head. I miss the freedom days. The days where I felt invincible. Now I feel like a tarnished old soul. I don't know how I can go on without thinking of it every day. I can't help but cry it out everyday, reminding myself of you in this unhealthy manor. It needs to stop, I want some sort of liberation. I want a release that'll make me happy, not allow me to wallow in my own remorse as I once did. In due time I'll fly off, leaving the nest where I harbor my naive actions and experiences. But until then I'm simply trapped in the cage you've created with these emotions that ignite some sort of demon inside me. Some malicious force that makes me want to scream and cry and quit it all is all derived from you, and I'm sick of it. I hate what you've created but I now understand that it was my fault too...

[thewritingblocker]

Well today wasn't really a good day... I tried talking to people I haven't spoken to in a while and it seems like no one wants anything to do with me. I feel weird talking to them and thinking that I have some meaning in their lives. I could be dead for all they care and they wouldn't even notice it. I feel stupid talking to these people with such high hopes, as if something will make them change their attitudes towards me... This just makes me feel all kinds of sad honestly, I don't feel like I'm wanted anymore or even thought of... It would be simpler if I just wasn't around anymore to cause these rifts, these tiny waves of influence that disturbs the flow of time. I just need to stop. To calm down. To prevent myself from falling into these traps that'll just end up in my sadness. I'm exhausted and I need rest... I'll catch up with you later...

[thewritingblocker]

I feel the chills run down my body... And as the tears stream down my fave I get those feelings again... Its happening all over again. I'm sorry...

[thewritingblocker]

Lacrima

It really does just take a few words to create this boiling feeling in my eyes... I think crying would have to be the hardest thing for me... The constant push that starts my tears just kills me inside. I feel like something horrible is going to happen... But it really is only for a moment, I feel the emotion and lock it away, waiting for the next trigger... I don't know how to feel about anything anymore. At this point I feel like I'm just ranting on about how I'm feeling but who cares, I'm the only one who's probably ever going to read this. I feel like these are memories locked up in some kind of stasis... But this is goodnight, once again. No more crying, Kareem.

[thewritingblocker]

Somnium

Guess it's time to go to sleep... I'll only be getting four hours but I guess that's alright... I think I fear the sleep more than I yearn for it. It brings about false hopes, in dreams of course. It's as if my mind creates a false world that will never exist. It seems a bit crazy, really. I feel like my mind is a prison, and I just need to set it free... I need a liberator. These summer nights haven't been good to me at all... The time they're set in is fleeting... Barely giving me enough time to catch my breath and continue onward. My eyes grow heavy with each passing minute. I guess this is goodnight...

[thewritingblocker]

Praeteritum

I wrote this years and years ago... damn...

He stands there alone... A forgotten soul left behind by those who've betrayed him. The people who have changed... I can't recognize their faces anymore. Who are they? They are not the people I once called friends. It's funny how life will change us. It seemed that just yesterday we knew nothing about the real world. Now we act like we know everything. It's when we jump too high that we realize we have strayed from the life we first began... because it is not how the journey is spent, but where we end up. I've seen someone change as if it were a lifetime. Is this a phase of life? Or is fate beginning to take its toll? I wish I knew. People need to watch their step because you won't be recognizable anymore... You will be lost... Or am I lost? Am I that one person that is left behind? I'm still me that has never changed and it never will. People are much too weak and lead to temptation. Am I strong enough to be myself? Or too weak to follow the crowd? I feel like these questions would lead to my death. I am overwhelmed with knowledge, doubts, fears and the simple fact that I will eventually be that little boy all alone with no friends. I am different. I am original. I am so simple, yet people don't understand me at all. I'm so lonely... there is no one that I can be myself around. Its scary how I don't have that one best friend that I can trust anything with. Writing this down only temporarily solves my problems. Like cutting myself. "Why do you do that" they ask. Why do you wake up in the morning? Because its part of life and that will probably never change. I am now that lonely boy. For now, and forever. Where is the super hero that will save me? Will they ever come... Maybe they exist to mock us. To trick us into believing that there is a perfect world out there. That with the snap of your fingers, everything will be ok. Until then the world is a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. And whose there right in the center to feel it the most? Me...

[thewritingblocker]

Exordium

It's been a very long time since I've written for my own satisfaction. I miss it dearly. I remember the days when I would cry and do nothing but write through the notes app on my iPod. Well those days are gone and now I've evolved essentially... I don't really know how to say it but i feel like those days weren't as bad as I made them out to be, even though they really made me the man I am today.