#praeteritum

[a4rmeda]

[invictamonsigneus-blog]

Pasados de mierda

Descubrir el pasado de la gente que te rodea no siempre es “bien”. 

[youwantsomechrome]

Video vos omnes!

[thewritingblocker]

Praeteritum

I wrote this years and years ago... damn...

He stands there alone... A forgotten soul left behind by those who've betrayed him. The people who have changed... I can't recognize their faces anymore. Who are they? They are not the people I once called friends. It's funny how life will change us. It seemed that just yesterday we knew nothing about the real world. Now we act like we know everything. It's when we jump too high that we realize we have strayed from the life we first began... because it is not how the journey is spent, but where we end up. I've seen someone change as if it were a lifetime. Is this a phase of life? Or is fate beginning to take its toll? I wish I knew. People need to watch their step because you won't be recognizable anymore... You will be lost... Or am I lost? Am I that one person that is left behind? I'm still me that has never changed and it never will. People are much too weak and lead to temptation. Am I strong enough to be myself? Or too weak to follow the crowd? I feel like these questions would lead to my death. I am overwhelmed with knowledge, doubts, fears and the simple fact that I will eventually be that little boy all alone with no friends. I am different. I am original. I am so simple, yet people don't understand me at all. I'm so lonely... there is no one that I can be myself around. Its scary how I don't have that one best friend that I can trust anything with. Writing this down only temporarily solves my problems. Like cutting myself. "Why do you do that" they ask. Why do you wake up in the morning? Because its part of life and that will probably never change. I am now that lonely boy. For now, and forever. Where is the super hero that will save me? Will they ever come... Maybe they exist to mock us. To trick us into believing that there is a perfect world out there. That with the snap of your fingers, everything will be ok. Until then the world is a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. And whose there right in the center to feel it the most? Me...

[candy-coated-unicorn-blog]

Eye for an Eye

So this is how it this will be. You ignore me because i “ignored” you. Did it ever occur to you that I had so much on my plate that I decided to isolate myself? Whatever happened to calling if something out of the ordinary happened? I thought we’re friends. Why are you treating me like the girl that you dated and stopped texting you? I guess the way I understood you is not the way you understood me.

[candy-coated-unicorn-blog]

“Maybe you didn’t really like him. It seems like you guys didn’t try enough to see each other.”

The individual knew of him but didn’t know how much I opened up to him. The deep talks, leaning on one another, and the support. The distance was hard, especially the schedules. Everything had to be planned ahead of time and we did what we could. I realized that we wanted different things and closed that option to salvage the friendship.

Heartbreak from someone you considered your first love and best friend changes you. You become more guarded and hesitant to take any kind of movement to become vulnerable. I lived to hold down myself and guard what was healing.

Since then, HE was the person I took my chance on. I was afraid because I was afraid to leap but I’m glad that I did.

We aren’t “us” anymore but hearing that assumption honestly struck a vein in my heart.

[candy-coated-unicorn-blog]

“When dealing with someone with big dreams, you’re not always going to be a priority. You have to be okay with that and willing to help them build and support them anyways.” We all have our own dreams. It’s important to live them, but it’s also important and wonderful to have a supportive partner.

[candy-coated-unicorn-blog]

I’m unsure how things will turn out between us but things aren’t looking good. I hate to admit that history is repeating itself in the worst way.