“They are doing what I don't like.”
 It might be a TV show, music genre, communication style or dress sense we all have to confrontthis monster at some point. Most of us figure we are very open-minded people and don’t mind people "doing their own thing". However the often negative comments, especially on social media would prove we are not as open minded as we think.
 This subject gets muddier when you bring religion into the picture. Many believers, Christian and other religions as well have a tendency to spiritualize their opinion when contesting a thought or idea. I once heard a youth minister say they will not listen to Hip-Hop because it has "spiritual dark roots" Another argued the same with our indigenous music styles. I even heard of a minister who forbade people from clapping or making any noise in a perish. Well i doubt you would find me in there. Our African expressions come naturally and to say they are wrong is matter of opinion, to even turn it into doctrine is obscene.
 The fact is what you don't like about me, does not make me "bad or wrong" sometimes what you don't like about me is the very thing that makes me. It’s the lifeblood of my purpose and design. It’s the very reason for my being. Pioneers in history were often accused of being wasteful or crazy just for exploring their talents. The now Late Andrea Crouch was accused many times in the 70’s and 80's of compromising the gospel and making his music too worldly, Kirk Franklin did not escape this Criticism as well for collaborating with unbelievers. When BeBe Winans decided that though he is a believer he is going to sing exclusively R&B he was attacked for more than a decade being called very evil things. Billy Graham was attacked many times for “befriending” politicians and influential people. Someone had an idea that his job was to only tell them that their going to hell” Of course all these things are now socially acceptable and some scripturally proven to be correct. The question is who and what are we attacking now that will prove to be a revelation when we look back on it ten years from now? God has not called you to be popular but to fulfill a mission; best you enjoy the work and let him have the rest. Glory or pain.
 Let us continue with our discourse. These are some of the reasons why often people dislike certain things or movements.
Influence one: Culture. We all operate from a distinct, strong and inherited cultural influence. I vividly remember when I started working how shocked I was about how my young white colleague spoke to the older white and black co-workers. The frankness of his communication and sometimes making fun of them was unfamiliar to me because of my upbringing and culture. I was raised in a Pedi culture were we addressed older people with the “royal plural” never calling them “you” but “my mother” etc. At first I thought my co-worker was wrong but I soon realized that the older white parents did not only condone his way of communication, but that’s exactly how they raised their children as well. To see everyone as an equal and challenge people on ideas and thoughts, not just their age. I was caught up in a cultural dogma. I appreciate my culture, many of its teachings agree with the Bible and have given me great relationships. However I need to be careful not to make that influence law or doctrine.
If I don’t like the way someone does something I have to ask myself a question. Am I influenced by my culture not to like that? If so I need to engage with the person on rules we both understand not my bias stance. Such a grade that can help is the word of God. Even if they don’t accept it, at most it will benefit you to know the difference between "culture shock" and hating something. Shock often does not last. Many hate mini skirts only to wear them tomorrow. If you understand why you dislike it, maybe you can make a stronger decision about it.
Influence two: Time and purposeÂ
One of my favorite authors in history is the late CS Lewis. He was a respected author and Christian apologetic. He had a great imagination and told the story of the Bible through “fictional stories” these stories had witches, demons, angels, lions. He wrote about fascinating and mysterious creatures, which would leave “Ben 10” creators in shame.
The interesting thing about CS Lewis is that though he grew up, schooled and wrote these books in England, these stories were never popular in England. In fact people thought they were childish and never gave them a light of day. It was only many years after when his book reached the borders of America that they suddenly became in demand. Today his works are treasured worldwide and he is held in high esteem as one of the greatest Christian authors and thinkers to ever engage and challenge positive cultural development.
The question remains, why didn’t the British embrace his content? Because of time and purpose. Often people will not like a thing and even criticize it because the treasure in it has not yet become clear to them. I used an example of Kirk franklin earlier. I remember how he was attacked and called names, now after many Grammies and touching every part of the globe with his beautiful music, almost everyone agrees, he is a great gift. So when you criticize someone or something just remember a year from now, secretly or publicly you will be supporting them. When God’s time and purpose are clear.
If there are people who don’t particularly understand or appreciate your set of gifts or want to turn you into something that already exist like “evangelist or something” remember it’s the spirit that offers the gifts. However the gifts are varied but all form an essential part of the body. Don’t be a copycat, be you. Don’t tone it down continue to build your platform and content. A day is coming when people won’t hardly have enough of your gift and they will want more and more. Remember that when Lira came on the music scene they told her, No! Do "kwaito" what you have in mind wont sell, the same for Micasa, the same for you. People will criticize you because they don’t have a sense of time and purpose.
 Influence three: it’s not for you
The reason you don’t like some of the things others do Is because their not meant for you. Time and age can be a factor. I however think that’s a minor factor. Not everything is intended for your heart, their many others whom the Lord will not be able to find them were they are unless He uses that vehicle. I remember many years ago when I first came to art school to study design. I met a young, black lady who played a trumpet and was part of a jazz band. I was startled as at that time I thought jazz was for old people, whoever giving an ear and eye through reading I have come to enjoy the art form and understand it’s a base from which many musicians practice the soul of true music and are able to venture into other areas. A great example being kirk whalum or Richard small wood, who is popular for the song “Total Praise” if it was not for him and his classical piano we would not have many of the musicians and songs we have today.
My encouragement is if you don’t like something give it time, if still you don’t jell. Leave it alone but don’t attack it. It’s meant for someone else. Yes you don’t watch cartoons anymore. Are they useless? No! Kids learn from them daily, they are meant for someone else. If you don’t like a certain musician, please don’t say they are evil. Say I don’t like them. I assure you if you listen to Amazing grace in Arabic and old Jewish signing you will hate it. It sounds weird to this African ear, but the music is great. God is God of all time, The same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Can you imagine the scope of his comprehension when it comes to culture and variety? He looks on the heart. Those who find it relevant will find help in it. It might be Lecrae, Lulu Dikana, VaShawn Mitchell, Nicole C. Mullen, U2, ColdPlay, Citizen Band, David Crowder, MALI, Pascaline etc.
Next time you think “they are doing what I don’t like” Remember "They like it". I’ts not about you. If it impacts others positively support it, if it’s negative, find a way to be constructive and bend it in the right direction by putting support and money behind it so that they can keep it “good”. It’s all about loving people genuinely from the inside.
 1 John 4:18Amplified Bible (AMP)
18 There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love [a]turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear [b]brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].
 Thank you for reading. Would love to hear your thoughts.
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