carolinetxbq Submitted: 8 months progress… minus -45kg 💪😊
I need to share this, as I feel this are going really fast and I really need to put words on it to realize what happened.
A few months ago I didn’t want to do anything anymore, I couldn’t picture a future for myself, I was like numb. I thought my life was already behind me, at 22 years old. I’ve fell so low, I’ve started to alienate myself from everything, everyone. I didn’t recognize myself anymore, I’ve had lost all my enthusiasm. Life was tasteless, and all I wish for was to disappear slowly.
More than my actual weight, it was the weight of depression that was the hardest to handle.
One night, far from home, at more than 7000km from Paris, in Florida, something’s clicked in my head. This dark vision didn’t let me other options than to act. Save myself, before it was to late. I needed help. I asked for help and eventually had gastric sleeve.
I was at 128KG, I’m at 83 kg for now. (283 pounds to 183 lbs)
I’m still not « there » yet, cause I want to be more athletic and regain the capacity that I’ve once lost, but I’m already so happy for the changes that happened and those little demons that are slowly going away, I also quit smoking (for my health and my voice) and I feel very good!
I honestly don’t realize how I’ve changed -though, I can definitely feel it-, the mind needs more time…It still funny that in some situations I’m still afraid like I won’t fit in chairs at restaurant or I might disturb the persons sitting next to me on a plane.
I didn’t really care about my weight cause I’ve never really suffered from critics, I always had the best friends and entourage you could dream of, always supportive, but I was angry at myself and very frustrated!
I felt it wasn’t me, so how could the world be the way it’s supposed to be if I’m not being honest with it? To be completely honest, as for today, I’m excited for everything that's happening but I’m also exhausted.
I’ve been fighting for so many years, and I’ve discovered the fight never really ends. But I’ve accepted it, embraced it, made it one of my biggest strength.
I want to live, I need to live.
Going out there, taking risks, going after the world but letting it come at me too…
And when I doubt, I remember the girl I was inside for all these years, the one that never gave up and always believe that she will take a dramatic change if life didn’t turn out the way she wanted.
I’ve forgot who I was, but I find myself again ! And I genuinely hope my story will inspire someone, somewhere, to go after what they want and to never EVER give up on themselves.
Thank you for taking the time to read me, Have a great day guys :) xx Caroline
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