The Littlest Bard

“The wind went mute and the trees in the forest stood still. It was time for the last tale.” 2.7.18 Tolkien/D&D 

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

MILO HAS MOVED

You can now find Milo over at @thexgoldenxbard. There is still work being done, but he is open for role-plays, questions, etc!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

Moving Milo to a new blog is going nicely! I’ll be posting a promo and link once everything is set and ready, until then, this blog will be considered inactive. Everything here will be left here, including past relationships and most headcanons. I’m going to try and stay more true to my original idea of Milo (and how I play him in D&D). 

Please like this if you wish to keep in contact, and I will be absolutely sure to follow you again and hopefully start threads soon thereafter!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

Thinking of giving Milo a hard reset. Just wiping clean the slate and starting over. I need to find the muse for him again-- I love my lad so much and I miss him a lot.

[avelera]

But have you considered: Thorin might be nearsighted?

Case in point:

Exhibit 2

“It cannot be.”aka Doesn’t actually recognize Azog until he starts talking…

This needs no explanation:

*BOOM*

Exhibit 3:

Not subtitled, but Thorin shouts for Kili when actually Fili is the one who was almost crushed >.< 

Exhibit 4

Not pictured because I couldn’t find a gif, but Thorin prompting Balin to lead them out of Rivendell because he “can see knows these paths”

Exhibit 5 

Cut off Azog’s arm, was probably aiming for something slightly more fatal, couldn’t tell he was alive when dragged back inside Moria…

Exhibit 6

WHERE’S BILBO?

(”I have no idea because I can’t see for shit.”)

Conclusion:

Since wearing glass in front of your eyes is slightly more of a liability for a fighter than people’s faces being slightly blurry, I’m just gonna throw this out there as a possible explanation for fandom to run with ;)

[avelera]

Ok but I think this is my favorite post of mine that’s done well because

1) it give a humorous explanation for Thorin’s random moments of fail that’s cracky and funny

2) it actually kinda makes sense and it gives Thorin a minor (or not so minor for his life and world) disability that he works around and actually kinda explains said moments of fail realistically and honestly guys the more I think about it and replay the movies in my head the fewer contradictions I can find for this headcanon???

[withywindlesdaughter]

There is a fanfic in here somewhere 

[guylty]

Convincing arguments!

[clematis70]

Thorin has suddenly become more human and more pleasant (short-sighted person speaking here)

[gwengrimm]

@ymrtumbler

[ymrtumbler-blog]

I love this. Thanks for the tap, @gwengrimm!

[heirsfthemountainhall]

You are not wrong OP, Thorin IS nearsighted.  In the book, it was even canon:

“How far away do you think it is?”  asked Thorin, for by now they knew Bilbo had the sharpest eyes among them.   “Not far at all.  I shouldn’t think above twelve yards.” “Twelve yards!  I should have thought it was thirty at least, but my eyes don’t see as well as they used a hundred years ago-”  (From the chapter, ‘Flies and Spiders’ of The Hobbit, by JRR Tolkien )

Thorin isn’t just slightly nearsighted either, he thought a large object at across-the-street distance was three-quarters of the length of a football field away.   By modern standards he would be legally, coke-bottle-glasses-or-we-don’t-let-you-drive, blind.

In the movie Thorin’s nearsightedness is never actually stated, but I love the clever ways in which they worked it into the acting (as avelera highlighted very well), and also into the costume and set design (implying that Dwarves tend to be nearsighted in general):  Dwarven ornamentation is always three-dimensional, be it stamped leather, cut runes, thickly-embroidered brocade, or cast-metal beads.  There are no purely painted or smooth-inlaid designs anywhere that would require sight, let alone 20/20 vision.  

Dwarven cities too, are violently three-dimensional and ornamented with a lot of straight-lined geometry and gigantic statues.  Perhaps most telling of all, the terrifyingly high stone bridges found in both Erebor AND Moria are treated as perfectly ordinary sidewalks… which would make sense for a race that couldn’t even SEE the ground below.

As for Thorin’s precision-jump in the forges…

Brass ones.  Solid fucking brass ones.

[meabhair]

When I talk my glasses off, the last two images look identical to me… just saying, I relate

[weresehlat]

What I love about this too is that you CAN’T tell me that the dwarrow didn’t invent the use of glass for lenses. Like, you CAN’T.

Not only are they incredibly necessary for detail work on very, very fine gem work, glasses are really freaking necessary for interacting with the world outside the mountain if you’re as fucking blind as Thorin is

Which brings up the point- why doesn’t Thorin wear glasses? 

There are two theories I can think of right off the bat. The first is that Thorin doesn’t wear them because they don’t look “kingly,” which, while absolutely hysterical, I don’t think is likely to be true.

No, what I’m willing to bet is that glasses are too expensive to create and maintain for a people in exile, and if his people are going without you can be damn sure that Thorin will be right there with them.

[avelera]

My theory @gwengrimm is actually that glasses during any kind of sword fight would be a huge liability. Having GLASS in front of your eyes just waiting for your opponent to shatter and blind you would be super dangerous, much better to just take the blurriness (in a hand-to-hand fight you don’t need that much precision vision anyway).

(Holy shit I just realized that’s why Thorin misses Thranduil’s white deer by like a MILE when he shoots at it!) 

The other alternative could simply be: Thorin doesn’t know. 

See, across all the reblogs of this post I’ve seen SO MANY people mistake nearsighted and farsighted. I’m saying specifically that Thorin is nearsighted, he CAN see things that are near to him, he CAN’T see things that are far away. 

I absolutely believe dwarves have figured out lenses for close-up work like jewel-cutting or even just for reading, after all Balin has reading glasses, we see them in the film. Farsightedness (not being able to read close-up) is a product of the eye muscles growing tired over time from constantly focusing in and out. It would be very likely that people who do fine detailed work would go farsighted very quickly. 

However, going back to Thorin complimenting Bilbo on his “keen eyes”, Thorin may genuinely believe that Bilbo has unusually sharp, almost elvish eyes, and not realize that Bilbo is just a normal 20/20 and that Thorin nearly blind as a bat. As someone who was nearsighted, the first time you put on corrective lenses is a revelation (THE TREES HAVE LEAVES!) but until that point you don’t know that you have a problem. My theory is that Thorin may genuinely not know that his vision sucks, and reading glasses are actually just easier to make than distance-glasses, he may not ever find out. Or he knows and just takes the hit to vision because having Azog headbutt him in the face while he’s wearing them would end very poorly for him :P

[telltalelily]

I may be late to the party, but this makes so much sense! I would also propose that at least some of Thorin’s grouchiness may be due to headaches from straining to make things out at a farther distance than his eyes really allow for. Also, you know, the painful past and stuff…

[feynites]

I suspect it’s a combination of the above factors, too! Mainly that:

- Thorin has some awareness of being nearsighted, but no idea how bad it is (it probably has gotten worse over time, but so gradually that he’s only kinda aware that it’s not great)

- Distance glasses are harder to make so it’s an expense he wouldn’t deem worthwhile as his people are in exile, most likely, and he probably made that decision when he was still younger and his vision wasn’t as bad

- The battlefield reason is definitely valid, but the above is why he doesn’t have glasses still on his person for use when a fight’s not on the table, i.e. hunting or travelling (distance vision’s pretty important if you’re going to a land taken over a gigantic flying monster, just sayin’) 

- Pride is probably also a factor, like, if he was more of Balin’s disposition he probably would have a pair of distance-vision glasses on his person even if he didn’t wear them 90% of the time, but pulling out his bottle-thick glasses so he can actually see the eagles coming is not his Aesthetic™

- This probably means that every dwarf in the party is used to Thorin declaring all of them ‘unusually keen-eyed’ and they just roll with it because it’s less hassle to have the king compliment them than to point out that actually he’s just got shitty vision

- Also a literal perpetual headache really would explain a lot about him

[inqorporeal]

Speaking from experience, trying to sword-fight with glasses on is a liability. Not just because IT’S GLASS (or it would be for the dwarves) in front of your eyes, but if they get knocked off or askew, there are precious moments of readjustment during which you can’t see worth shit. Also, they get caught on everything, and the majority of helmets are not designed to accommodate corrective eyewear.

[bluemaskedkarma]

@dragonsquillwrites of interest?

[dragons-quill]

Oh yes!

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

Moving into my dorm tomorrow so that’ll be something. I’ll try to be on here again soon, but I can’t hold any promises. Stuff is wild right now. I’m so stressed out that I’m physically sick right now

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

Sorry for the unofficial hiatus here guys, but I’m starting college up in two days, so things have become hectic. I will come back on when I can, but roleplaying has been put on the back burner right now.

[thexlittlestxbard-a]

    “So I’ve heard,” Milo hummed before taking another bite of food. Really it was all very tasty, and Milo wasn’t sure if that was because he was a starving hobbit, or because these dwarves were just fantastic cooks. Either one worked for Milo. “,I’ll poke around some when I can. Someone here I bond to have a lute, or perhaps a harp.”

    Milo would have much rather a lute or an mandolin. He loved instruments he could play while singing or speaking poetry to an audience. 

[dirtgemini]

some hobbit stuff

thorin is perpetually perplexed

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you start LOTR The Fellowship Of The Ring at 8:47AM on October 24th, you’ll be pleasantly informed by Gandalf the gray when it’s 10 O,clock and what day of the month it is. lol