Hufflepuff, to her boyfriend: If cream cheese was a person I probably wouldn't be dating you.
i don't do bad sauce passes

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wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Kiana Khansmith

@theartofmadeline

Love Begins
Cosimo Galluzzi

tannertan36
AnasAbdin

titsay
Cosmic Funnies
trying on a metaphor
Misplaced Lens Cap

roma★
will byers stan first human second

oozey mess
ojovivo

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@theyhatchedadaringplan
Hufflepuff, to her boyfriend: If cream cheese was a person I probably wouldn't be dating you.
Father Ravenclaw: Do you know how Ireland got so green?
Slytherin: St. Patrick. He blessed the land by murdering all the druids and watering it with their blood.
Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff discussing the subject of favorite siblings:
Hufflepuff: I don't think any of us really have favorites! We all like each other equally!
Slytherin: Well, yeah, we don't have individual favorites. But we do have one collective favorite.
Ravenclaw: Yeah, that's true.
Hufflepuff: What?! What do you mean? No we don't! What are you talking about???
Ravenclaw and Slytherin: It's you, child.
Slytherin, handing Ravenclaw $20 as they walk into a bookstore: Here, I didn't get you a birthday present yet, so go buy something. Sorry it isn't more thoughtful.
Ravenclaw:..Giving me money and setting me loose in a bookstore is pretty thoughtful.
Mother Hufflepuff, talking to the dog: You look so despondent...so lonely and bored.
Daughter Ravenclaw: She looks perfectly content...I think you're projecting your own emotions onto her...
Oh...I'm so tired that I forgot to stop reading.
-Ravenclaw
Father Ravenclaw: Anything else you want to ask me before I leave?
Daughter Ravenclaw: What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Father Ravenclaw: You already know that by now.
Daughter Ravenclaw: But what is the question?
Father Ravenclaw: THAT is the question...
Hufflepuff: Stop slamming your feet into me.
Ravenclaw: That's called kicking...
Father Ravenclaw: Sorry I was late for dinner, I was delayed by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Daughter Ravenclaw: I was about to be like ha, good one, but then I realized you probably meant that literally because you've been studying Revelation.
Ravenclaw: Listen...you never know what might happen tomorrow.
Hufflepuff: So?
Ravenclaw: No that's it, that's the end of the speech.
Hufflepuff: Mkay. Good speech. The best I've heard in a long time. *under her breath* Because all the speeches I've heard lately are from Donald Trump...
Slytherin: I'll take these secrets to the grave.
Father Ravenclaw: Wouldn't you rather let them go instead of carrying them around with you?
Slytherin: No, secrets have such a nice weight, like a smooth stone in the palm of your hand.
Daughter Ravenclaw: What games are on today?
Father Ravenclaw: The Vikings are playing the Bears and the Titans are playing the Jaguars...basically, pseudo-mythical humans fighting animals.
Daughter Ravenclaw: Titans aren't human, though...
Father Ravenclaw: Okay, true.
Daughter Ravenclaw: And Vikings aren't mythical!
Father Ravenclaw: Nevermind. I was just trying to pull it all together.
Ravenclaw: Everything is gross.
Slytherin: Except me.
Hufflepuff: Life is beautiful!
"Leave me and my fashion sense alone."
-Slytherin
I'll never be a hipster. Hats make my hair itch.
Father Ravenclaw, walking into the room wearing Slytherin’s beanie.
*a strange dinging noise echoes through the house*
Mother Hufflepuff, napping on the armchair: What is THAT?!
Slytherin, napping in her room across the house: Santa!
Mother Hufflepuff: None of us have been good this year!
Slytherin: Man, this trash bag is so heavy.
Mother Hufflepuff: What's in it?
Slytherin: Rocks... maybe my sorrows...