Contributing to the Delinquency of my Daughter

Just another freaked-out new dad contributing to the delinquency of my daughter

[theyletmedothis]

Hi, chicken. I miss you, chicken.

-Zoe, upon being presented with her dinner tonight.

[theyletmedothis]

Meet Ladybug

This is Ladybug:

Zoe got Ladybug at the Carrboro Farmers' Market kid's seedling day a few weeks ago, and yes she decorated the tag herself (even if Daddy helped get the yellow circle in the middle of the flower).  Ladybug is Zoe's first plant, and as you can see she's rather proud of her.  What you can't see, as I'm taking the picture, is how proud I am of Zo and Ladybug. I got my very first plant at the old Farmers' Market over 30 years ago when I was 4.  It was a prickly pear cactus, and I actually still have it in a big pot in our front yard.  Ladybug won't be around that long, but it makes me pretty damn pleased to get to share something with Zo that's been such a happy part of my life. 

This past weekend we planted Ladybug in the garden, and then Zo helped me plant Sungolds, okra, zucchini, jalapeños, and habañeros.  We put a little cardboard tube into the hole I dug for her to drop in the seeds, and she got to put the jalapeño plants in the ground herself.  They got roughed up a little bit along the way, but appear to have survived.  It'll toughen them up a bit, anyway.

It fulfilled one of those little daydreams I always had about fatherhood, getting to work in the garden with my daughter and teach her how plants grow.  Maybe she'll stay interested, maybe she won't.  But for now I'll just enjoy the hell out of it and we'll watch Ladybug grow. 

Then I just have to figure out how to explain to Zo that the culmination of Ladybug's journey is having us eat her babies, but I'll cross that bridge when we get there.

[theyletmedothis]

Agua snake!

-Zoe, upon meeting the hose

[theyletmedothis]

Let's All Go to the Bathtub!

Having children requires the creation of a unique soundtrack.  At least, that's how it's panned out here.  It seems like every time we need Zoe to do something and she's not exactly going along with the plan, we try to come up with a song.  This one was informed by growing up with sisters who loved the Travolta version of the Grease musical movie, and that the "Let's go out to the lobby" song that plays during the drive-in scene is still stuck in my head decades later.  Goes a little something like this, accompanied by clapping and marching:

Let's all go to the bath tub,

Let's all go to the bath tub.

Let's all go to the bath tub,

And we'll get Zoe clean!

Not mind-blowing, I know, but when you've got your whole family marching and clapping in time it feels like the most important song in the world.

[theyletmedothis]

Be Water, my Friend

"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."

-Bruce Lee

After the rocky stretch of last summer, I really hit a point of struggle with trying to balance my life.  I was fighting to try and fit everything into its own time, and ended up not getting much of anything done.  I felt like I had to keep all the components of my life separate.  I finally realized, with a little help from a stranger in an online forum, that the path to happiness as a father lies with rolling all the components of your life into one.  Playing with Zoe wasn't something that needed to be done instead of working on my garden, or cooking dinner, or baking, because doing any of those things with me feels like playtime to her. 

She may not have been too keen on helping me weed the garden, but I didn't really want to do that myself.  However she had fun picking out a flower, helping me pot it, and now she waters it every day.  She helped me make spent grain treats for the dogs, helped dump ingredients into the bowl to make pancakes with Mama, and helped me top our pizza.  It'll probably be a few years before she can help me brew, what with the propane burner and 6+ gallons of boiling sugar water, but there's plenty for us to do in the meantime. 

So I stopped fighting, and I let the activities happen for us all as a family.  It's funny how I have less time on my own to do things, but so much more seems to get done.  And we're having fun along the way.

Be water, my friend.  Indeed.

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (12 Months)

Dear Zoe,

Your 12th month brought us all kinds of excitement.  We went back to the Museum of Life & Science (which Daddy loved when he was younger, and pretty much still does) and you got to walk around some for the first time.  You mostly stayed in your stroller, but once we got you in the butterfly house you wanted to catch one so badly.  Fortunately for the butterflies, the closest you got was one on Mama's hand. 

We went to a concert in Carrboro hoping you would get to see Tift Merritt, but she came on a little too late for you.  We were going to try and stick it out, but you started yelling "Bye-bye!" to everyone you saw and we realized that it was time to leave.  We tried to make up for it by playing her music for you on the way home, but we'll just have to see her again someday.

You went to your first football game, and got to have some tailgating fun with Mama and Daddy.  We brought your little tailgate chair, but you decided you liked Daddy's big one much better.  You ran around and made friends with all the people in our section, and got so excited every time they started cheering because you thought it was for you.

We discovered a wonderful park near our house, and started going there in the afternoons so you could play.  You had so much fun climbing the steps to go down the slide, and then you decided you would climb right back up the slide itself.  Surprisingly enough, you actually pulled that off.  You've got kind of freakish balance for a wee beastie. 

Of course, there are always some down moments.  We discovered that you had outgrown your shoes when your foot started bleeding, and felt like pretty terrible parents.  We took care of your toes, though, and got you patched back up.  The real dark moment came when you were swept up in a phenomenon that overtook the nation:  Gangnam Style.  Mama and Daddy had to play it for you at least 5 times every day, and sometimes that wasn't enough.  You would go over to the laptop and yell "Dance!" until we played you the video.  Thankfully you outgrew it eventually, but at the time we weren't so sure it would ever happen. 

Then we got to your birthday party.  We had a bookworm theme, and Mama went all out to decorate the house.  We asked everyone for books for you as gifts, since you love reading (and being read to).  All our friends and family came, and you had such a good time right up until the cake.  Apparently, you really weren't a big fan of the cake.  We kept trying to get you to eat it, but you just wanted to run and play.  Oh, well.  At least you loved your books.  And you can run.  That's probably the most amazing thing of all, seeing how well you can move.  We spent so long being afraid that it would be years before you could walk, and thinking that your first few birthdays would see you in casts or braces, and instead we got to watch you charge around the yard like the wild thing you are.  The five months we spent worrying about your feet felt like an eternity, but it's nothing compared to the joy we feel seeing how fast and strong you are now.

1 year.  A standard unit for measuring the earth's path around the sun, and a common unit for measuring a cycle of our own lives. You completed your first, and I can't wait to be there for as many more as the universe will allow.  Happy birthday, sweet girl, I love you so much.

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (11 Months)

Dear Zoe,

Your eleventh month continued the rocky trend from month ten, but it worked out pretty well in the end. You and Mama both got pretty sick to start things off, and then you poked Daddy in the eye and I had to wear an eyepatch for a few days.  It wasn't much fun for any of us, but at least I got to take some good novelty pictures.

By the end of that first week, though, we were all bouncing back.  We had lunch with your Papa Jim and Mimi Jane that weekend, and you decided to turn things around by taking your first extended walk from the windows to Daddy.  We were all so excited, and you were so proud of yourself for what you had done.  The next day we went to your friend Chase's birthday party, and you didn't want to walk but you danced your heart out to the Big Bang Boom Band.  I think that's when we realized we were in for it.  Within a couple weeks you were walking all over the house.

You made up your own word for "shoes" this month.  It sounded a lot like "tthhhhbbbppptt," but there was no doubt that it meant "shoes."  You said it whenever you saw them, and they became a bit of an obsession for you.  If you look at Mama and Daddy's closet, I guess that shouldn't really be a shock.  You became a Junior Iron Duke, which is pretty cool.  Daddy used that and a cute picture of you to score some free, light-up blue devil horns for you. 

You started your love affair with biscuits thanks to Bojangles, and you careened around our cul-de-sac like a drunken college student.  You also developed a new habit that Mama and Daddy thought was pretty cool when you woke up during your nap, turned on your mobile, and then went back to sleep.  The best part about your eleventh month, though, came right at the end.  That was when you created the Chicken Wing sign, which seemed to mean "I love you."  Whenever we'd tell you that we love you, you would give us a chicken wing back.

Happy eleven months, Zoe.  We chicken wing you right back.

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (10 Months)

Dear Zoe, We hate to break it to you, but your 10th month was not so much fun. We had lots of bad things happen that month like our air conditioning breaking and Daddy breaking his toe. But none of these were your fault and we were both happy that you are such an awesome kiddo that you handled it like a champ. We stayed at grandmama and grandad’s apartment for a whole week while the air conditioning was being fixed. It was really fun to get to see them every night. Mama would take you for walks around Carrboro every afternoon. It was hot, but you didn’t mind. Mama and Daddy also took their very first weekend getaway to the beach. You stayed with your Auntie Ashley. She painted your toenails and you thought that was pretty hilarious. You kept sticking your feet up in the air to show everyone. You were starting to get sick and you wanted to snuggle and hold her all the time. I bet she secretly loved it. Your Mimi Jane and Papa Jim had been out of town for a long time. When they got to see you again, they couldn’t believe how much bigger you were! You were standing up and were so strong. You really started to have a whole lot more personality too! This was the first time that Mama had a hard time taking your monthly picture - you didn’t think it was very fun to stand around and get your picture taken. You wanted to move around!! You also said your first word. You told your grandmama “bye” when were leaving. Though, like a true southern belle, you said “bah” and waved your hand like a princess. We love you baby girl and can’t wait to watch you grow into a big kid. You’re already part way there!! Love, Mama PS - I told you that you took your first steps last month but I was wrong. It was really this month!! You were 9 months old. We were so proud of you :)

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (9 Months)

Dear Zoe, Your mama decided she wanted to write you a letter this time to share everything that happened in your 9th month. Mama got out of school for the summer and she had some fantastic ideas about picking you up early from daycare or not even taking you at all. Just so that we could play and have a fabulous time. Your Aunt Erin came to visit this month and she was so excited to see you. She hadn’t seen you since Christmas and couldn’t believe how big you’d gotten. Erin and Mama took you to the pool and to go shopping and all other kind of fun stuff. We had a sleepover at Grandmama and Grandad’s so that Mama, Daddy, Erin, and Cousin Brian could go to a concert. We had a super good time and you slept all the way until the morning. At first that made Mama nervous but then she thought it was awesome. It didn’t last though and the next night you were back to sleeping until 5 or 6 then going back to sleep after a bottle. Sigh. We celebrated your Daddy’s very first Father’s Day by taking him to Foster’s for breakfast, Museum of Life and Science during the day, and then we went to Grandmama and Grandad’s that night. You helped Mama make a special book of Daddy’s blog. Okay, maybe you didn’t help too much but you certainly made it possible! You decided to show off your skillz by pointing to things that we named. You were really starting to understand words! We were excited. You were excited. It was like an excitement party. You also learned to “patpatpat” the doggies and lamb-bone and to give high fives. You became ub-sessed with your three stuffed animals owlie, monkey, and kitty. Daddy even started looking on the internet to see if we could find back-ups in case we lost them. Every morning when you woke up you would point to your shelf where owlie, monkey, and kitty slept and say “Uh Uh Uh” until we handed them to you. They were your BFFs. We got to visit the Museum of Life and Science again with Cousin Lauren, Justine, Ashley, Erin and our friends Ms. Kelli and Chase. It was so much fun! You loved to ride the train and especially point to the animals in the livestock area. You got to see both Mimis, and your Granny Lu all in one month! You must be pretty special for all of these people to come visit you! Your Mimis saw you at Bailey’s graduation party and Lu came to see you while Auntie Erin was here. Lu, Christy, Erin, Ashley, Mama and you went to the NC Art Museum. You liked to look at all the bright color paintings. In your 9th month, you LOVED blueberries and would eat a whole bowl! If Mama or Daddy gave you a bowl of mixed fruit- you liked to pick the blueberries out. This month you also went to only drinking bottles instead of nursing. You let Mama know that this was not working out for you any more and that bottles were so much cooler. You know, you’re a big kid now. By the end of your 9th month, you were standing by yourself pretty well. Mama and Daddy thought that was awesome and we were proud of you. To our surprise, right before you turned 10 months old- you took your first steps!! We were shocked! We didn’t even have our cell phones or a video camera to film it  because we were in the baby pool. But Mama jumped right out and texted Grandmama, Nonnie, Mimi Jane and lots of other people to let them know. We can’t believe how big you’re getting and how much older you seem. Happy 9th month baby girl - it’s your show and we’re happy you’ve invited us along.

[theyletmedothis]

Houston, we have a tooth

Nobody, exactly, but this seemed more dramatic than "I think that's a tooth"

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (8 Months)

Dear Zoe,

Your eighth month was all about moving and celebrations.  We started things off with a bang at your first Derby Party.  You tried to snag some of Daddy's julep, but it's really best to start with beer and then work your way up to bourbon.  All things in time.  You didn't really care about the race, but you had fun playing with your cousins and having an early celebration of Daddy's birthday.  Due to our shared love of bottles, you got me a gift certificate to a local beer shop and solidified your position as my favorite daughter. The party continued with Mama's first Mother's Day.  Due to your shared love of your own feet, you got her a gift certificate for a pedicure and solidified your position as her favorite daughter.  We made breakfast for Mama, and had dinner with your Nonnie, Grandpa, and Aunt Ashley.  We had to celebrate you a little bit, too.  Mama wouldn't be a mama without you.

We officially abandoned baby foods, and everybody is happier for it.  You'll eat just about anything now, but you like it best if it comes from Mama or Daddy's plate.  You ate foie gras at Uncle Kevin's restaurant, you tried a little of everything at Greek Fest, and you even tried everything we gave you at the Indian buffet.  You started playing a new game where you hand Daddy food for him to eat.  Sometimes I eat it, sometimes you yank it away and eat it yourself while laughing at me.  Either way, we both have fun.  I enjoyed making your purees for you, but it's even better to watch you have all these new food experiences for the first time.

Your eighth month is also when you discovered the pool, and Mama and Daddy discovered our now-favorite evening activity with you.  You loved the water, and got so excited in the kiddie pool that you just started shouting at everyone around you.  Then, while you were sitting with Daddy at the edge, you pulled yourself up on my hands and just started walking.  We got you a float that you can sit in, but you also figured out that it lets you stand up and use it like a walker to get around and chase that orange fish.  Daddy loves seeing you have so much fun, and then I figured out that I can bring beer, too.  It's perfect.  Now you love walking around while holding our hands, whether in the water or on dry land.

That wasn't enough for you, though.  You still love to ride around the house on your bicycle that Mama found for you, but you apparently decided it was time to take the leap. You started crawling on Memorial Day weekend.  Mama and Daddy had been worrying that you weren't making any progress crawling forward, and you had been getting frustrated by it every time we tried.  But, Saturday afternoon, we put your maraca on the far side of your room and you pushed up on you hands and knees and crawled to get it.  Sunday you crawled a little bit, but you got tired of it pretty quickly.  We thought it might take a little while for you to get the hang of it, so Mama made plans to run some errands on Memorial Day while Daddy stayed home with you and brewed a batch of beer.  Daddy made a terrible mistake.  Memorial Day was when you realized that crawling meant freedom, and Daddy spent the next several hours chasing you around the house while trying to keep up with my water temps and hop additions.  By the end I just carried you with me because you like to watch the brew pot while it's boiling, and that seemed to work out the best.  But you became mobile, and the world will never be the same.

This was the month that you decided you were tired of watching, and that you were ready to be a part of it all.  You wanted to eat all the food, pull up on everything you could get your hands on, push yourself around the pool, play with all the toys you could reach, and go get the ones your couldn't.  Things are changing quickly around here, but we can't wait to see where it will take us next.

Happy eight months, Zoe.  It's a big world out there, and I'm so proud to see you grabbing all of it that you can.

-Love, Daddy

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (7 Months)

Dear Zoe,

Your seventh month went by so fast that we're not quite sure what happened.  One day we were at the beach celebrating 6 months, and then suddenly we were here at number seven. 

We learned that you're a great car rider around town and for short trips.  Our trip to the beach, though. . .let's just say it wasn't much fun once you woke up.  You cranked for a little bit, and that was OK, but then you started screaming.  And then you kept screaming.  Eventually Mama moved the dogs to the front seat and climbed back there to entertain you while we were riding up 95, and at least that worked a little bit.  Suffice it to say that we may not be a in rush to take another road trip with your anytime soon.  Don't worry, we'll do it again.  We may just wait until you can entertain yourself a little bit better.

This month you also started having a lot of trouble napping.  You're easily distracted like Daddy, and you have a hard time sleeping when there's stuff going on.  You always used to take snuggle naps with Mama and Daddy when you were home, but that wasn't helping you at daycare.  We decided it was time for you to enter an intensive Napping Boot Camp so you could learn to sleep in your crib.  It went well, and it went really fast, too.  We miss the time snuggling with you, but now you sleep for longer and you're happier when you're awake.  Plus, it means that Mama and Daddy can actually clean up the house a little bit while you sleep and hopefully nobody will nominate us for an episode of Hoarders now. 

Daddy had to go away for work during your seventh month, and that made him very sad.  It was an important trip that he needed to make for his company, but he missed you so much.  You weren't feeling well the day he left, so Mama stayed home with you.  The two of you waved goodbye to me when I left for the airport, and I didn't want to go.  When Daddy came home a few days later, he raced through the airport and may have broken a few traffic laws so he could get home before you went to bed.  When I got there, you were so excited to see me and looked so surprised, but your little feet were kicking away.  I stayed on the floor and played with you until it was time to go to sleep, and then I took the next day off work so I could keep you home to play with me.  I missed you so much, but we had so much fun when I got home.

There was a lot of good in this month, too.  You learned to clap, which made Daddy very happy.  I've been trying to get you to do that for a while, and you suddenly started to one evening while I was away.  Fortunately Mama got it on video so I could see it.  You're trying so hard to get mobile, but you're just not quite there yet.  You hate being on your tummy, so you don't like to work on crawling for very long.  But you're pulling yourself up to standing, and always trying to get up off the floor.  When you do, you look so proud and happy.  We're thinking there's a very good chance you may skip crawling altogether and just head straight for walking.  That scares Daddy very much.  In the meantime, you're settling for scooting around the floor on your booty.

You keep getting stronger, which has made things interesting.  Daddy tries to warn people, but they don't always believe him until you rip something out of their hands.  It does mean that you can hold your own bottle now, which is rather impressive considering how heavy the glass ones can get.  Last night Grandad said we need to stop letting you lift weights for a while, and everyone is taking their guesses about what sports you'll play when you get older.  Little do they know that I've already enrolled you in a secret training program for government assassins, and that you will have no time for such silly games.  Let's keep that one quiet for now, though. 

We've started taking you out to dinner with us, and you do a great job.  You've been to Akai Hana (Mama and Daddy's favorite sushi place), Uncle Kevin's restaurant Acme, and just this morning we took you to Elmo's Diner, which is a place Daddy used to work.  You've done a great job every time, and I think I'm going to have to write a post just about all the odd things you've eaten already. Your first experience with cheese looked like love at first sight.

You've had a couple of dinners with Papa Jim and Mimi Jane, you still go to Saturday morning breakfast and Sunday family dinner at Grandmama and Grandad's, and you've even had your first two picnics.  One of them was at Duke Gardens, where you mostly just stared at the guy with bad hair making his kids practice a Ram Muay with him over and over.  Daddy had a hard time not laughing, but figured he better keep it quiet in case that guy was for real.  Seriously, though, who makes their entire family hit the pads at Duke Gardens?  While wearing jorts and sporting early-90s Trent Reznor hair?  You probably won't ever understand that last sentence, but it's relevant. 

In your seventh month, Mama and Daddy have spent a lot of time marveling at how big you seem.  You've become such a fun and happy little person.  I think I can sum it up the best by comparing the ways that I've missed you the two times I had to go away for work:  The first time, you were only a month old and I felt terrible for being away from you.  The second time, there was actually a "you" to miss.  You've got your personality, and you like to play games with us.  You've figured out so much about your world already, and it's so amazing to watch.

Happy seven months, Zoe.  I'm so lucky to get to be a part of your life, and you amaze me every day. 

-Love, Daddy

[theyletmedothis]

Daddy Night

I remember one of the questions I was asked during my return trip to Daddy Boot Camp.  One of the new dads-to-be asked me how you get to a point where you can go out together and leave the wee one behind.  At the time, I told him that you had to figure out how to walk away individually first, and then you would know what it took for you to both be away from them.  What I didn't tell him, since I hadn't really figured it out myself at that point, is that you have to both get times away from the family so you don't lose your damn mind first.  You can worry about date night later.  For a while we would just try to trade off moments here and there where the other parent could be "off duty," but they were inconsistent just like everything else at that point.  We started to realize that the best solution for us was to have something scheduled where we knew we could count on some time to unwind.

We already had something built in for Rebecca, since every Saturday morning I take the dogs and head over to my folks' house for breakfast and she gets a few hours in an empty house.  I've done that for years, and the plan had always been that Zoe would start making the trip with me and Mama Morning would be born.  It's become a fun routine for Zoe to join the trip and get some time with Grandmama and Grandad.  She hangs out and plays with them while we cook, takes a little nap, then gets up for a bottle and a little more visiting before falling asleep on the ride home.  In not too long, we may even be soliciting her input on our omelet fillings.  Well, maybe that can wait a few more years given the items she frequently mistakes for food.

Rebecca tried to return the favor by taking Zoe on Sunday mornings to meet her mother for breakfast, but with her (R) not being much of a morning person, it wasn't really easy for her to do.  We talked about other options, and then Daddy Night was born.  Tuesday used to be Yoga=>Beer=>Grill night around here, which we had recently resumed with Rebecca's mother picking Zoe up from daycare and then Rebecca getting her from her parents' house after class while I went home to start dinner.  It was easy enough to shift that so Rebecca just goes over to have dinner there after yoga, and I get a couple of hours to myself in the house.  Just trading one brand of meditation for another, right?

It's important that the time you get suits your personal style of relaxation, or it ends up just being time to kill.  For Rebecca, sleeping in and then having a quiet morning to read or do whatever she feels like around the house is the best gift I can give.  For me, an evening is better since my relaxation rituals tend to involve loud music, food, and beer.  I had to learn not to try and make anything too complicated for dinner, as the time I had goes awfully fast.  So now I try to pick an enjoyable but quick meal, and then treat myself to a reward beer and probably watch some tv that she doesn't enjoy (currently Game of Thrones).  It's a little island of calm for me, and it can serve as the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel" when I'm feeling fried. 

The only hitch to it is that I sometimes feel guilty for looking forward to that time away from my family.  I feel like I shouldn't be that excited for them to be gone.  Then I go back to a conversation that I've had on several fronts:  being the best parent you can be stems from being the best you that you can be.  I feel like it's my responsibility to show Zoe how to be a decent and complete human being someday, and I don't feel like I can do that if I completely lose track of myself. The daily cycle can be so exhausting (as all parents know, I'm guessing), and sometimes I feel like an automaton in constant motion, looking for something to do.  That version of me is really good at getting shit done, but I'm not so certain he's a great parent.  Daddy Night recharges me so Zoe can get a father who has energy to do more than just clean up the house, cook, and do laundry.  It lets me give her an actual Daddy who can play with her and teach her things.  If it occasionally requires a cheap tallboy or two before dinner to accomplish that, then so be it.  Hell, it could be much worse (NSFW, just in case you're unfamiliar with the source material):

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (6 Months)

Dear Zoe, So much has happened in your sixth month. So much that Daddy has had a hard time keeping up with your blog. Sorry about that, I'll do better in month seven. I can't believe we've had half a year with you now, it seems like it can't have gone by so quickly. Then again, there are times you seem so much older. You've grown so much. Your sixth month saw you grow into a connoisseur of puréed foods, loving peas, mango, and sweet potato. Then, after sampling a slice of baguette at Papa Jim and Mimi Jane's, you're now more interested in food you can hold and eat. Just when Daddy was figuring out a system to make and freeze purées in bulk, but it's fun to watch you turn things over in your hand before deciding to just jam it in your mouth any way it will fit. We may need to invest in a more efficient cleaning system, though. You also took a road trip to visit your great-grandmother and namesake with Grandmama and Grandad and Daddy. We drove up one Saturday morning to Mimi's house and visited for a little while. Then you took a nap on Daddy before we all went out to lunch. Some folks might have been a little nervous about taking you to a fancy restaurant, but you did a great job. You even let me feed you your sweet potatoes while we all ate. After lunch you took a little walk with Grandmama and came back with your new favorite toy, Kitty Cat. She's little and purple and a Gund and your entire face lights up when you see her. Daddy had a Gund when he was little, and still does. They're kind of a family tradition, so it's happy to know you've got one now. You took your first trip to the Museum of Life and Science this month, which was always one of Daddy's favorite places to go while he was growing up. Mama took you with Miss Casey and Davis, and you got to meet a new friend in Miss Christine's daughter Kate. You saw butterflies and rode the train, and I can't wait to take you back. This month was the first time time Mama and Daddy took you out to dinner. We were a little nervous since you can be kind of. . .loud, even when you're happy. You tend to shout out your excitement, and you even roar sometimes when you're particularly fired up. Ms Xochitl says that you scare the other babies at daycare when you do that, and they cry. Daddy thinks that's kind of awesome, but he probably shouldn't. Anyway, you did such a good job at dinner. You had just made your first visit to Mama's school, and you walked around and met everyone, even managed to smile for them all. Then we took you out to dinner and you stayed happy and playful the whole time. You gave Mama a big kiss before we left that made all the folks sitting outside say "Awww," which you should take as a good thing. It made Mama pretty happy, too. You've grown even bigger this month. Not just in your size, but how you act. You can sit up on your own now, and you're scary strong for a baby. When you get a hold on something, it takes a damn fight to get it back. The older boys at daycare are starting to learn that the hard way, I hear. You learned to wave, and now you wave at everything and everyone. We took your first trip to the beach, at Daddy's favorite beach house. Your friend Miss Heather came down with her husband to take pictures of you (and both of those are stories Daddy will tell in full on their own), and you waved to them and splashed in the ocean and generally were smart and beautiful and perfect. I may be biased, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it. You've stopped sleeping through Sunday family dinner now, and spend the whole time getting passed around between your cousins and Grandmama and Grandad. Everyone lines up for a chance to hold you and play with you, and you're so happy to be with them. You're a very lucky girl with so many people who love you, and we're so very lucky to have you. Happy Half-Birthday, Zo. I don't know what I did to deserve you as my little girl, but I'm glad for whatever it was. -Love, Daddy

[theyletmedothis]

Look at the Sky

When Zoe was a just over a month old, Rebecca took her for a little walk around the neighborhood.  Zo spent almost the whole time staring up at the sky, so Rebecca took this picture:

We didn't get many more of those pictures as the weather turned cold(ish, it wasn't much of a winter), and we thought it best to keep Zoe healthy and warm indoors.  We took her out for a few walks on the random nice days, but she was often asleep.  I had forgotten this picture for a while.  The other day while I was driving her home from daycare, I looked in the mirror to check on her and expected to see her playing with her toys.  She wasn't.  She was absentmindedly holding one of them, but she was staring out the window, looking at the sky.  Ever since then I've noticed that while we're driving, this is what she does.  She plays for a minute but then turns her attention up and out to see what the sky has to show her that day.

It's funny.  "Look at the sky" is kind of a running joke in our house because it's something my mother always says.  Whether the sky is blue, stormy, starry, or the rainbow at sunrise/set, if it's striking, she's always looking and making sure we all see it too.  I can't really joke too much about it, though, as I'm the same way.  Every morning when I first walk out the door, I stop and take a moment to look at the sky.  Sometimes I'll be at a stoplight and look up to see the clouds and light looking just right, and wishing I were the kind of person who could capture that moment in a photo.  Instead, I end up being the kind of person who gets distracted at a stoplight and needs a gentle reminder that green means go. 

I guess Zoe got that from us.  Now, when I get her out of bed in the morning, the first thing we do is walk over to the window so she can look out at the world.  Sometimes she just looks for a moment and we move on.  Sometimes she reaches out and puts her hand on the glass for a while, letting me know that she's not quite done looking at the sky. 

[theyletmedothis]

State of the Zoe (5 Months)

Dear Zoe,

Once again, so much has happened in the past month that I'm not really sure where to start.

For starters, this was the month you discovered solid food.  You weren't too keen on the rice cereal, and we couldn't really blame you, but you were pretty excited about the peas and sweet potatoes.  You always make a face after the first bite, but then you remember that you like them and start to get excited. You get so excited that you like to grab the spoon and start feeding yourself.  Sometimes you actually do get them into your mouth, but it often ends up looking like this:

Daddy is very happy that you're so excited about food, though, and I'm working on which ones I should make for you next.  It's very exciting for me to get to cook for you already and to see you so happy about eating it.  Plus, the time you jabbed your pea puree spoon up your nose gave birth to a fun new game called "Pea or Booger?" 

This was also the month that you started figuring out how to manipulate things with your hands.  When you're holding a toy, and it's not facing the way you want, you use both of your hands to turn it around.  May not sound that exciting, but you're about 4 months ahead of schedule on that one.  We also practiced grasping your toys instead of slapping at them, and you've got that down.  It's fun to watch you concentrate and slowly move your hand out to take a toy from me.  Mortimer the Moose is one of your favorites right now, although you like it better if Daddy does the Mortimer voice for you.  You like to play, and you like it when we read you books.  On the Night You Were Born tops your list right now, but it may have something to do with the big, cuddly polar bear you get to play with while we read it. You stare at the pages, and then back at Mama while she reads the story to you, and you get to hold the fuzzy bear the whole time.  You love your jumper, which is great for Mama and Daddy too.  Sometimes you start to get tired, but if we say the magic words "Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy!" you start hopping up and down again. 

Your fifth month also brought us a scare.  Two of your cousins contracted whooping cough, and we were worried you might have it too.  It's a very scary thing for a baby to get whooping cough, but we got you medicine and Mama stayed home with you for five days.  Apparently you didn't get this big without being a healthy girl, though, as you ended up being ok.  We were all so relieved when the tests came back clear. Plus, the doctor who checked you out said you were too strong for him to hold while he was examining you.  That made Daddy all kinds of proud.

You love to look at the sky when we drive, or when we take you for walks.  When Daddy gets you up in the morning, the first thing we do is walk over to the window so you can look out and touch the glass.  You also love dogs, which is a good thing in our family.  You're learning to pet Serrie and Guinness without grabbing their fur, which they really appreciate.  When we go to Grandmama and Grandad's you like to visit with Jake and Dolly, too.  You're still not so sure about Yunqi, which I just take as additional confirmation that you're a smart kid.  You've continued your fascination with Daddy's beer glass, which I'm starting to worry could give someone the wrong idea.  We took you to Broad St Cafe for dinner so you could meet Chuck and Lee, and you greeted them by trying to steal their beers as well.  I guess we'll blame that habit on me. 

This next one is a little difficult to address, but I'd rather you hear it from me.  Apparently, your Mama thinks you're Weird.  Which is OK, she thinks Daddy is Weird too, but I should probably explain that.  Mama was really sick during your fifth month, and lost her voice for almost a week.  You seemed as confused as anybody by the notion of Mama not talking, but there was nothing she could do.  To compensate, Mama sent Daddy a lot of texts during that week.  One night while I was making dinner, she texted me to say "Your kid is weird.  Just sayin." I responded to her that you're her kid as well, to which she replied "But the weird is all from your side. ;)"  I feel that it's important for you to know that you are at least a carrier for Weird, and possibly full-blown Weird yourself.  If you are, Mama is probably right that Daddy is to blame.   I just want to let you know that there's nothing wrong with being Weird.  Daddy has been called Weird his whole life, and he's still a productive member of society.  You should be proud of your ability to make remarkably authentic-sounding fart noises with your mouth.  And when you discover that you can make a new, non-farty, noise, I understand your need to try out variations of said noise for the next few hours.  I do the same thing.  Not caring about your vertical orientation?  Hanging upside down while playing with your toys is perfectly normal.  It may just be your infancy, but if you do grow up to be Weird, Daddy has your back.  We can face this together.

This seems like an awful lot to fit into one month, and I agree.  However, some members of your family are trying to force in another development.  It seems there are some folks that are determined for you to crawl.  You don't need to rush into that.  Mama and Daddy are more than happy to be responsible for your movement from location to location right now, and you don't need to be too eager about the whole crawling thing.  I will admit that Daddy got a little curious yesterday during tummy time to see how far along you are, though.  So I moved all of your toys to the far corner of your blanket, and waited to see what you would do.  You stared at them for a minute, tried to move yourself without much success, and then you looked down at your blanket, grabbed it with both hands, and pulled it in until you brought your toys to you.  Smart and Weird.  That's my girl.  

Happy five months, Zoe.  You're such an amazing little lady.

-Love, Daddy

[theyletmedothis]

(Vintage) PhotoBooth Phriday: 12/27/2011

She's a little catatonic here, but I think she's just evaluating her feelings on the shifted angle and its inherent statement on the duality of man: