scorpio
there is a part of you that has spent years preparing for betrayals that have not happened yet. you notice things other people miss. you notice hesitation before someone answers. you notice inconsistencies in stories. you notice the tiny shift in a person's energy that everyone else ignores. people call this intuition, but what they rarely understand is how exhausting it can be to live with the feeling that every interaction contains information you cannot afford to miss. you have become exceptionally skilled at reading other people. sometimes so skilled that you understand what someone is feeling before they are ready to admit it themselves. the problem is that this gift often comes with a hidden cost. the more clearly you see others, the less willing you become to let them see you.
you ask questions. you pay attention. you remember details people forgot they ever shared. you collect information naturally, almost without trying. somehow, entire conversations can pass with another person feeling deeply understood while you remain largely unknown. this can feel powerful. it can feel intelligent. it can feel safe. but there is a loneliness that develops when everyone around you becomes visible while you remain hidden. you may tell yourself that you are simply waiting for the right person. the trustworthy person. the person who has earned access. but if you're honest, some people have probably earned it already. and you still haven't opened the door. because the fear was never only about whether they could be trusted. the fear was about what happens when there is nothing left standing between your heart and another human being.
you may carry entire emotional realities that nobody knows exist. you may spend days, weeks, or months processing a hurt that never leaves your mouth. you may explain your pain through analysis because the raw truth feels too exposed. you may find yourself investigating a relationship rather than participating in it. you may secretly wait for disappointment before allowing yourself to relax. not because you enjoy suffering, but because expecting betrayal can feel safer than risking trust. there is a part of you that would rather predict the wound than be surprised by it.
people often see your strength long before they see your fear. they see someone composed. someone intense. someone difficult to shake. someone who appears completely in control. what they rarely see is the amount of energy required to maintain that position. they do not see how exhausting it is to always be the strong one. they do not see how often control becomes a substitute for safety. they do not see how much tenderness exists beneath the armor. they do not see how deeply you want closeness while simultaneously fearing what closeness demands from you.
you may have learned to treat vulnerability like a liability. you may feel more comfortable being the observer than the observed, the investigator than the investigated, the person holding the secrets rather than the person revealing them. over time, this can become a prison disguised as protection. the walls that once kept pain out begin keeping connection out as well. eventually, you start to wonder why intimacy feels so far away despite how desperately you want it.
unguarded: beyond the need for control explores the hidden relationship between power and protection, secrecy and intimacy, vigilance and loneliness. through deep reflection, guided writing exercises, and psychological inquiry, you'll examine the fears that keep your walls standing long after the danger has passed. you'll explore trust, emotional exposure, resentment, control, self-protection, vulnerability, and the exhausting pressure of always feeling responsible for your own survival. this workbook is for the part of you that is tired of holding everything together. the part of you that is exhausted from carrying secrets alone. the part of you that is beginning to suspect that control is no longer protecting you the way it once did. the part of you that wants connection more than leverage, intimacy more than certainty, and peace more than vigilance.
the workbook is currently available in the shop.
link here
