I always see the energy behind the energy.
And sometimes it softens me. Other times it disgusts me. Here are some of the patterns:
1) Someone who laughs too much in social situations
Some people might think she's being rude, always laughing at someone, ridiculing somebody. But actually, she's only laughing because she's bracing herself for people reacting to what she said as far-fetched or stupid. So she laughs at herself before other people can laugh at her. It's not rudeness. It's a defense mechanism.
2) Someone who disagrees with everything
It can go both ways. Every now and then, he is genuinely looking for the right word or concept or feeling and can't find it, so he goes, "No, it's not that." There's nothing wrong with that. But most of the time, he is deeply envious of or intimidated by the person talking, and he just wants to do whatever he can to dull that person's shine in the moment.
3) Someone who always uses expletives
Swear words are powerful. The right way to use them is to express the tone you want, or articulate the depth of your emotions. But people who use them extensively when it's not part of their nature or nurture are very insecure people. They're trying on an identity that they know isn't theirs, and profanity is just a part of the costume.
4) Someone who doesn't edit themselves
Others might think it's quirky or honest to just say what's on your mind on the spot. But this is a sign of low emotional intelligence. Even children think before they speak. Even dogs process before they act. Also, your (our) stream of consciousness can often be insufferable. Why subject others to it? It's quite inconsiderate.
5) Someone who subtly loves to brag
They make sure not to be loud about it. Instead of "I'm going to Italy next week!" they say "It's time for a break. I think I'm doing Italy. It's been a while since I visited." These people are not malicious, but they are bragging about something they could never afford before. The subtlety is because they don't want people to know that it used to be impossible for them.
6) Someone who announces their happiness
It sounds like these people are bragging, but they're not. "OMG, I just ordered the new iPhone!" "Fuck, my crush just texted me!" "I just got promoted, let's celebrate!" You can feel their joy and excitement. They just want to express themselves to you because they believe you will be happy for them. They never have any bad intentions.
7) Someone who always has something bad to say
If their friend bought a house and everyone loves it, they go, "That area gets hurricanes though." More often than not, they have a fake positive preamble too. "I'm so happy she's engaged! Good for her. She deserves it, and she's gonna look so good in a wedding dress! But don't you think he's too old for her?" These people live in a state of lack. If anyone else is winning, it means they are losing, so they will never let you win.
I am very affectionate towards 1 and 6. I often automatically block 2, 3, 4 and 7, online or in real life. Number 5 is usually someone who isn't comfortable with me yet. They eventually switch to being number 6 once they trust you.
So why am I sharing this? To warn you.
We all have to be aware of who enters our physical and digital environments, and whether we should let them stay. Mirror the good. Be kind to those who need help. And be ruthless to the rest.
This is Traditional Witchcraft 101. What use are amulets and talismans when you don't even know how to water and prune your plants?