Be Thin. Be Beautiful.

[wild-lion]

[silent-rain91]

Too many times.

[they-messed-me-up]

[hawkingsbird]

i genuinely don’t fucking understand why we spend 80% of our lives in school and doing jobs we hate when we should be spending our lives traveling and playing and being excited to be alive

[phobella]

[they-messed-me-up]

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

I’m ready to just let it all go. 

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

I feel like such a fraud: pretending to be happy all the time, acting like I have it altogether, telling people I’m fantastic everytime they ask. 

I wonder if anyone even knows. Am I dumb enough to think that people believe me? Or are the dumb enough to even notice?

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

I don’t know how much longer I’ll make it.

I’ve been living in a world of fear for too long. I’m not afraid of the things that most people think about. I’m not afraid of being forgotten or anything noble like that. I’m not afraid of spiders or rats. I’m not afraid of heights or anything that has to do with death.  I’m afraid of me. Since I’m not afraid of death and dying, it’s easy to find comfort in those things. Death is the answer to so many of my life’s problems. If I weren’t here, none of those problems would exist. 

In the past, the one thing that has kept me from choosing death was the people that I would leave behind. How sad it would make them feel, etc. But those people are nowhere to be found when I need something. 

I’m lonely. I’m afraid. I’m exhausted. Why am I still here for the same people who do not help me when I am struggling so much. 

I don’t even know why I post on here. Nobody reads them. So I sit. Afraid. Not of dying, but of me. I’m afraid of what I might do if I get pushed too far. I’m afraid of what I might think if I get too lonely. I’m afraid of what I might do if I let logic overcome fantasy. I’m afraid of what I might do to stop the loneliness. 

[dispirit]

[ghastly---pale]

99% of the time I could be the only person in the room, standing right in front of you and you still wouldn’t pick me.

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

Sometimes I feel like a cute prop in people's lives.

[homowrecked-deactivated20151223]

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

Pretty much since the dawn of time.

[kushandwizdom]

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

My thoughts exactly.

[skinny-truths]

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

Yes and no. It frees me every time.

[gordonramsayagainstproana]

Explaining a disorder to someone who doesn't have it.

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

Oh my gosh. Yes.

[meme4u]

[thinblondebarbiegirl]

I told you I was scared.