sw: 194 cw: 163 cgw: 160 lw: 163 ugw: 100 @thinboyjourney - Tumblr Blog

i’m gonna make a thinspo collage and hang it on my wall. i live alone rn so no one will see and worry

i’m back i think

it’s been a minute. i’m terrible at being active. i spent a few months eating fairly normal and i maintained pretty well but i’m back at school now and i started gaining again. I did a 46 ish hour fast over last weekend and I’m 7 ish hours into another 48 hour fast. I’m gonna go longer if i get to 48 and still feel ok.

Ramblings/Venting

god getting an eating disorder has made me so mean. sometime’s i’ll see a plus-sized person and just think “god, i don’t wanna look like that.” and more often than not they’re not even ugly, they look fine, or they even actually look good, but I see the fat and that’s the only part I can see. It doesn’t help that I’m the fattest person in my friend group. Oh god I just realized I’m the token fat friend they keep around to make themselves feel better. They’re all so skinny or at least fit it’s not fair, i’m literally the only person in our group who is fat. I don’t want to be fat anymore, i don’t want to be the ugly friend. It’s been really hard in my life this year and i hate myself that i’ve turned to food again for comfort. my grandpa died in february which is when it started going downhill. then covid hit and my school sent us all home so it’s been so much harder to actually restrict. classes were really hard and now the unrest in america, it’s all so much and i’m really really trying not to let this make me gain weight. I feel so sad though. I know if my grandpa knew that i was going through this, and if it was made harder with his passing, he would be so sad. i never wanted to disappoint him, but i feel like he would be if he knew.

God I miss the willpower i used to have. I used to be able to fast for like 2 days now I cant even last 1. This sucks.

one thing that’s just so frustrating to me is that right now I don’t even have some crazy ugw, like first and foremost i just wanna get to a healthy bmi, that’s its, full stop. maybe once i get there i’ll want more, but right now i don’t care, i’m just tired of being overweight.

funeraljorts

Commissions!!!

Hey y’all, I don’t normally post my art on here, but bc of covid, I’m out of a job, and kinda tight on money right now. I’ll be doing commissions to have some cash put aside. I will draw/paint pretty much anything. Digital is easiest for me to get to you, but I like painting terra cotta pots too, so I can do those as well. I will work with you on the price! I’m totally flexible on it, I just need money! Besides my birthday is coming up, and I have to spend it indoors, so,,, please. (also here are some examples of my digital/traditional stuff, don’t currently have pics of the pots but they’re cute, trust.) Also if you aren’t in a place that you can commission, please rb this so it gets around!!! Thanks!

#This is from my main #please

Today was kinda good but slightly more than kinda bad. I wanna end on a good note, so I'll start with the bad.

I ate so much awful shit today. Like not enough to call it a binge but still far too much. It was all junk too. I'd be fine if it was nutritious in any way but noooo god forbid I binge on something healthy.

Bad part 2: my entire college is sending us home this weekend because of covid19. We have to be out on Saturday at 2. Like it's far too short notice for EVERYONE. One of my professors today told me that admin made the announcement to students BEFORE the faculty/staff like???? They should know about it before we do!!! It's so stressful too bc it's not like we're getting time off. We have to start online classes next week. They also want to try to get us back in a month which is fucking stupid because 1. There would be like 3 weeks left of the semester at that point, so it would be stupid to do that and 2. I need to look for a job to replace my work study and i cant fucking do that if i have to tell my potential employer that i can only work for a month. So I'm gonna run out of money soon. (For real if you're able to help https://paypal.me/funeraljorts?locale.x=en_US I can draw you something small or do a short tarot readinv in exchange)

MY ONE GOOD THING!!! I got call skinny today!! For the first time EVER! That was really a needed boost because I've felt pretty stagnant lately. :)

Finally getting those "are you losing weight healthily" "I'm worried about your eating habits" and "eat dumbass" comments from my parents and friends. With frienda it's easy to play off, like they'll ask why I wasn't at the dining hall and I can easily just say I'm busy when they're all there so the times dont match up (which is like 80% truth, I am very busy this semester) but when im at home with family it's a lot harder bc I'll just be in my room all day, and my parents can hear whether or not I leave so I'll come downstairs for the first time at 6 pm and they'll make some stupid conment about it.

How tall are you?

I'm 5'4" :/ 5'8" with my platform boots tho

Someone please talk to me or send asks or smth

c-h-e-r-i-e-deactivated20200220

♡ cute asks ♡

angel; do you have a nickname?

awe; how old are you?

baby; favorite color?

bloop; spirit animal?

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

bright; mermaids or fairies?

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

buttercup; showers or baths?

butterfly; dream destination?

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

calm; favorite scent?

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

charming; have you ever been in love?

cozy; eye/hair color?

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

daylight; favorite album of all time?

dear; zodiac sign?

delightful; concerts or museums?

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

dobby; dream job?

doll; how do you like to dress?

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

fairy; do you have a pet?

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

forever; where do you feel time stop?

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

garden; how many languages do you know?

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

heart; silk or lace?

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

kinky; do you blush easily?

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

love; what is your favorite season and why?

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

magic; what are five flaws you have?

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

shine; art or music?

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

smitten; do you collect anything?

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

soothe; digital or vinyl?

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

God I'm fucking sad. I'm so sad. Please send asks or smth idk I need to do smth.

#eli says things

thelonelysapphic

List of food w it’s calorie

Got this from thefitnesschef_ on IG, go ahead to their account for more.

anatrashboy

Transboy Ana Things

wanting to fit that skinny boy aesthetic

wanting to be edgy but also wanting to be soft and knowing fat boys don’t fit those aesthetics

wanting to lose weight so your chest and hips get smaller

wanting to wear baggy clothes that hang off your body

wanting to have gorgeous collarbones and a thinner, more masculine face

wanting to be a pretty boy

just wanting to pass better

thank GOD I was finally able to weigh myself today and im back to my low weight!! (163) I was so upset with myself when I saw that i gained again but I'm so happy bc it's all gone again!