All Things Considered @things-arent-what-they-seem66 - Tumblr Blog

Imagine a bodyseap au

They would both be freaking out for different reasons lol

Lucifer as Adam: Holy shit! I can reach the top shelf without heels or standing on my tip toes!

Adam as Lucifer: WHY AM I SHORT AND IN HELL!?

They need to have a meeting to figure out how this happened. Lol

I love body swaps so much!

Lucifer loving having a bigger build, he can feel the power in Adam's legs that pushes the first man to his feet. He feels the way he walks and how his hips are tense to make carrying the weight around easier.

Lucifer would see how the angels talk to him, how people interact with him, how some of Adam's children and the exorcists freat him. He loves the winners priasing him, and touching him but it quickly gets too much, whether that's Lucifer's brain talking od Adam's, who knows. But the look from whatever heavenborn is around is enough to make Lucifer stay right where he is.

Adam would probably find him not hating being small. As Lucifer he can tuck himself into places, under tables, under beds. And he's thin. There's nothing rubbing or moving after he stopped, everything is firm and where it's meant to be.

I think Adam would get into his feelings a lot if he was in Lucifer's body, which would confuse him because his this him or is this Lucifer?

He'd grab some of the kings clothes, hid under a bed, and just press it to his face. His arms wrap around himself liks he's giving the body and the kings jacket a hug.

He's missed Lucifer more than he's willing to admit, and finally feeling him again after so long almost makes Adam cry. Almost.

Until fucking Charlie comes in the room, calling for her dad

#adamsapple #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask

Awwwww omg I love that 🥹

Adam would avoid Charlie, let's be real lol He doesn't know how Lucifer's relationship is with her but he knows if he fucked it up by the time they switch back Lucifer would find a way to break into Heaven and kick his ass.

But he would also see all the little things in Lucifer's room, like all the ducks, the little things that bring him comfort, the things he's hid from himself.

And how sinners and other demons see Lucifer. It's quickly apparent that demons born in Hell respect him but with sinners it's 50/50 of either being afraid or not caring.

In Heaven Lucifer wouldn't really know what to do, he didn't expect Adam to be so busy and actually have a lot to do.

Or that other angels hit on him, like his own brother (he's quickly traumatized lol)

But what would be most surprising would be that the Speaker knows of this switch and talks to him for the first time in years and he ends up crying because he's missed her.

Imagine a bodyseap au

They would both be freaking out for different reasons lol

Lucifer as Adam: Holy shit! I can reach the top shelf without heels or standing on my tip toes!

Adam as Lucifer: WHY AM I SHORT AND IN HELL!?

They need to have a meeting to figure out how this happened. Lol

Adam: Oh fuck me.

Lucifer: *teleports in front of Adam* You rang for me?

Adam: No!!!

Lucifer: But you said-

Adam: It’s an expression!!

#adamsapple #ask #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer

Pining For You

@kittenfangirl20

Adam sighed as he looked out the open concept kitchen counter into the dining room. He was mindlessly stirring the soup for lunch today but his eyes weren't on any of the residents.

No, he was watching the charge nurse who was helping settle all the seniors and even feeding anyone who needed it after giving them their meds.

Lucifer was a transfer from another nursing home because apparently this place pays better. Ever since Adam laid eyes on him he's been smitten.

But Adam works in the kitchen as the chef, so the odds of getting to talk to Lucifer were very slim. But that doesn't mean he can't look.

Lute cleared her throat: Sir, are you going to serve that soup or just fantasize about diddling the nurse all day?

Adam's face burned and he gave her a dirty look: Shut your hole, I'm stirring it so it doesn't stick to the pot.

Lute: Sure, whatever you say. Is it ready?

Adam: ..... Yeah.

The two of them served it up into bowls and handed it out to other workers who distribute the food.

Looking over, he saw that Lucifer was at the med cart doing up pills for people to have with their dinner.

Lute: You should talk to him.

Adam: I don’t know, I get so nervous around him and why would someone like him want someone like me.

Lute: You should stop being so down on yourself, you are amazing. Now, go and talk to him.

Lute pushed Adam forward and he thankfully caught himself before hitting the med cart.

Adam: Hi, my name is Adam Kadmon.

Lucifer gave Adam a smile that he was sure was causing him to blush with how warm his cheeks were.

Lucifer: Hi, my name is Lucifer Morningstar, but most people call me Lu. You’re the head chef right?

Adam: Yeah.

Lucifer: Wonderful, I have been wanting to talk to you ever since I was transferred here.

Adam was surprised when Lucifer grabbed Adam’s hand and wrote on it.

Lucifer: Call me.

Adam realized that Lucifer wrote down his phone number on his hand. Once the cart was loaded up, Lucifer winked at Adam and left. Adam quickly put the phone number into his cellphone and he couldn’t help but smile.

Lute: Looks like you got a phone number.

Adam: He was just being friendly, he probably did that with all his coworkers.

Lute: I don’t have his phone number, I think he likes you.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam's heart fluttered, he didn't want to give himself false hope but man did this feel nice.

Maybe he'll text him tonight after work..... If Lucifer isn't working the night shift. It's crazy the hours they have nurses working, his poor feet must be so sore.

Once dinner was all over and done with, Adam and Lute cleaned up and went home for the evening.

Lute: Drinks? Or you gonna go home and text your future husband?

She liked his side making him squirm.

Adam: Stop!...... But maybe.

They went their separate ways to go home and once he was cleaned up and had his own dinner he pulled out his phone and texted Lucifer.

Adam: Hey Lu, it's me Adam. Wasn't sure if you were working but wanted to say hi!

Adam read his text over and over again and just felt like a dork the longer no reply came.

Lucifer: Hi Adam! I'm on my break, I'll be done closer to midnight;)

Adam smiled seeing that, he got a response from the guy he had a massive crush on.

Adam: I was wondering if you wanted to hang out when we both have a day off together?

Adam was nervous when he saw dots showing that Lucifer was replying. What if he said no?

Lucifer: I would love to, how about we come up with a plan the next time we see each other at work? ;)

Adam responded that he would love to do that and that he should text him before he makes it home so he would know he was safe. He didn’t expect response, but at 12:30 am he got a text from Lucifer saying that he made it home safely.

The next day…

While Adam was getting ready to clock in, Lucifer approached him.

Lucifer: I thought that we could look over our schedules to see when we both had a day off together.

Adam: That sounds great.

Luckily they both had the upcoming weekend off so they decided to schedule a day out on that Saturday. Lucifer would text him later so they could figure out the plan. Adam spent the rest of the day giddy as a school girl because he was going to spend the day with Lucifer.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Lute: Someones happy.

Adam leaned down with the biggest grin: I have a date with the hot nurse.

Lute nudged him in the arm: There you go! See? This is what happens when you put yourself out there.

He had to admit, he was glad that Lute pushed him to go and talk to Lucifer. Adam had been so nervous but so far it was paying off.

Now he had to make it through the date without making a fool of himself......

Adam: God.....

Lute: What?

Adam: I haven't been on a date since my girlfriend Eve from three years ago. What if I blow it?

Lute: You won't. I'll even help you and we can go shopping for a new outfit the day before. Any questions just ask.

Adam smiled, he was glad to have her as a best friend.

On Friday Adam went to the mall to get a new outfit that he could wear on the date.

Lute: That leather jacket would look really nice on you and you deserve to spoil yourself.

Adam: You really think so? I don’t want it to look like I am trying too hard.

Lute: You won’t be, stop acting like I am telling you to buy a three piece suit. So what do you have planned for the day?

Adam: getting lunch, going to that nice garden close to the restaurant to walk, going to a movie, and dinner. Something nice, but not too extravagant.

Lute talk Adam into also getting a nice looking green top along with the leather jacket.

Lute: You will look amazing, I promise. You will thank me when the date ends with a kiss and maybe even more.

Adam blushed as he stuttered as Lute chuckled.

Saturday…

Adam looked at his reflection in the mirror and he hoped that Lucifer liked what he saw. He had texted Lucifer his address before going to bed last night and he got a text now from Lucifer saying that he was outside. Adam ran out to see Lucifer in his really nice car. Lucifer looked at Adam with appreciation.

Lucifer: Hey beautiful.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam's face exploded with heat from those two words.

Beautiful? He thought that he was beautiful?

Adam: Hey handsome.

Lucifer smiled and started to drive: You look amazing, love the jacket.

Adam was mentally thanking Lute for making him get it: Thanks, it's my favorite. You look really nice too.

Lucifer was wearing nice jeans, shirt and jacket that made him look a little sporty.

Lucifer: Thank you, I wasn't sure where we were going and didn't want to be over dressed.

Adam: Well, it's a nice place but nothing crazy.

He gave him directions to this bistro to have lunch and Lucifer was so excited.

Lucifer: I've always wanted to try this place!

Adam: It’s one of my favorite places. I love the sandwiches here.

Lucifer smiled as Adam showed him the menu and he started to point out the sandwiches that were his favorites. Lucifer had been wanting to talk to Adam ever since he saw him one his first day at the facility. Lucifer ended up ordering a bacon ranch chicken sandwich.

Lucifer: You’re right, this is so good.

Adam: I told you.

While having lunch they talked about each other. Lucifer knew a little bit about Adam because some of the residents talked fondly about him. But Lucifer really liked hearing about Adam from Adam himself.

Adam: I can’t wait to show you the garden, that place is really nice.

Lucifer: I can’t wait to see it.

Afterwards they went to the park and each got an ice cream cone. Lucifer was amazed at the beautiful flowers, but he was more amazed at Adam. He was the most attractive person he had seen. Right now they are enjoying the flowers and talking about the movie they wanted to see.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

They weren't sure if they should see a romance movie or a horror movie but in the end they decided to see a horror movie.

Adam got them two tickets and once the movie got going they were seated next to each other. When there were scary parts Adam and Lucifer would hold onto each other.

It was a nice way to get some snuggles.

When the movie was over they decided to go to dinner at this little Italian place where they had wine.

Lucifer: Are you an only child?

Adam: No, I have a sister named Emily. You?

Lucifer: I'm the youngest of seven brothers.

Adam: That's so cool.

Lucifer: Yeah..... Adam, I've had a lot of fun today. But there's something I need to tell you.

Adam feared that he didn't want to see him again: What?

Lucifer: I'm recently divorced and have a daughter.

Adam: So this isn’t you saying you dom’f want to date me?

Lucifer: Not at all, in fact I had the time of my life with you and I want to go on another date with you. I just wanted to tell you because I wanted you to know I have a daughter.

Adam: Oh, well I have two boys of my own. They are twins named Cain and Abel, I never married their mom, we just broke up amicably. We are still friends and raise the boys through joint custody.

Lucifer: That sounds wonderful.

They talked about their children who turned out being the same age.

Adam: Maybe they can meet soon?

Lucifer: I would like that.

Adam proudly showed Lucifer pictures of Cain and Abel. Cain looked a lot like Adam and Abel looked a lot like Eve. Lucifer then showed Adam a picture of Charlie and she looked like a female version of Lucifer. Adam could tell that Charlie meant everything to Lucifer which was important to Adam because his boys were important to him.

Lucifer: In fact I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night with me.

Adam got the cutest blush at that, he was going to spend the night with Lucifer. He quickly nodded excitedly.

Adam: I would love to.

Lucifer: Perfect.

After sharing a tiramisu for dessert they went back to Lucifer’s place. Like the car, the house was a very nice place.

Adam: Being a nurse pay that well?

Lucifer: I come from a rich family and I am a nurse to help people.

That just made Adam love Lucifer, not the money thing, but wanting to help people. Lucifer then pulled Adam close to him and they kissed. It didn’t take long for them to end up in Lucifer’s room pulling off their clothes.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Now, let it be known that Adam doesn't normally sleep with someone on the first date, but Lucifer was different.

He was special and he made Adam feel like he was the only one in the whole world. He saw stars as they made love and Adam couldn't get enough.

By the time they were done they were breathless yet very happy.

Adam and Lucifer snuggled in together drifting off to sleep happily.

When Adam woke up in the morning he smiled seeing Lucifer's sleeping face.

So yesterday was really real, he went on the best date in the universe with the most handsome man ever.

The same man who looked adorable while he slept, even with drool leaving his mouth and going to his pillow.

Lucifer yawned and smiled seeing Adam. He looked so perfect with his hair tousled like that.

Lucifer: Sleep well last night?

Adam: Yeah, it was amazing.

They shared another kiss enjoying the moment.

Lucifer: How would you feel about fresh homemade pancakes for breakfast?

Adam: That sounds great.

Lucifer: Not to brag or anything, but I am told I make the best pancakes.

Adam just put on his shirt and boxer shorts while Lucifer put on some rubber duck print pajamas. Lucifer told Adam that he loved ducks during their date and Adam thought that was rather cute. Once they were both in the kitchen Lucifer started to make pancakes. Adam saw drawings on the fridge obviously drawn by Charlie of the two of them doing things together.

Adam: She really is important to you?

Lucifer: Yeah, I just wish that I could spend more time with her. But Lilith insisted on having sole custody of her. I would have been happy if we split custody like you and Eve do.

Adam: What does she want?

Lucifer: I know she doesn’t want to upset her mom, but she wanted to live with me which would have been the best option. But Lilith said that a girl needs her mother.

Adam had a feeling that if Charlie was a boy, Lilith wouldn’t say a boy needs his father, but he hoped that Lucifer could find a way to get custody of Charlie soon.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

He knows that he was very lucky that Eve made it easy for him. There are plenty of people who make custody battles messy and it's not about the kid.

It's to hurt their ex.

Which in turn ends up hurting the kid.

Adam: Is there anything that can be done?

Lucifer: I'd have to appeal it in court...... But I'm scared to. I do have visitations with Charlie every other weekend and I'm worried if I lost again Lilith would take them away from me.

Adam nodded as he was handed his pancakes. He never met Lilith but he had a feeling that she would do just that.

Adam: Well, if there's ever anything I can do, let me know okay?

Lucifer: Thanks Adam I appreciate that....... But you have no idea how hard it is to get custody over a mother. Lilith would basically have to be caught in the act of abusing Charlie and be a drag addict.

Adam: Shit...... Maybe Charlie can tell you something that could help? Her opinion has to matter, a judge should care.

Lucifer: She will be coming next weekend, I will try to talk to her.

Adam: If you need any help I can come by. In fact that will be the start of my half of the month with the boys if you don’t mind them coming along.

Lucifer: Actually it will be nice to have kids around Charlie’s age for has her to spend time with. She misses her old school and her friends especially a girl named Maggie.

Well, the girl’s name was Vaggi, but Lucifer always got her name mixed up. Not only was Vaggi Charlie’s best friend, she had a little crush on her.

Adam: Yeah, friendships are very important.

Adam took a bite of his pancakes and was amazed by how delicious they were.

Adam: I am being serious when I say that these are the best pancakes I ever had.

Lucifer: Thank you, I have always loved cooking. I heard from all the residents that you are quite the chef.

Adam: Yeah, maybe we can work together on all types of dishes for the kids.

Adam just loved the idea of cooking with Lucifer. Well he wanted to do a lot of things around Lucifer because he felt so happy around him.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

The weekend went by too fast and before Adam knew it, it was Monday morning and he had to go to work cooking for all the residents.

He loves his job...... But 5:30 is way too fucking early for this.

On the bright side he still got to see Lucifer floating around the nursing home. This time of year was particularly hectic as the students from all the nursing programs who wanted to be working in a nursing home would come for their work placement.

So Lucifer's work load doubled. As charge nurse, it was his duty to train everyone.

Lucifer: And this is the kitchen where you'll get the residents food for their meals. That's Adam, the head chef.

Adam smiled and waved, looking at Lucifer the poor man looked exhausted already. He can just imagine what it'll be like by the time the weekend rolls around and it's his time with Charlie.

Maybe there was something he could do to try and relieve some stress? Even just a little.

When it was time for Lucifer's break, Adam took him a bowl of warming comforting soup.

Lucifer: Oh this is delicious, thank you Adam that's so sweet.

Adam was always thoughtful like that. He still had some of the cookies Adam made over the weekend. Most chef’s at a retirement home would usually make the most basic foods, not caring about flavor. But Adam wanted them to enjoy the food, so he made food with care and full of flavor.

Adam: I have been looking into things to help you get custody of Charlie.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Adam handed over the papers for Lucifer to look over. He felt so bad for him with how tired he looked.

Adam: This must be a lot for you right now?

Adam: Yeah, but it’s to be expected. Lilith didn’t like me working so much that she found attention elsewhere.

Adam flinched, he could guess that was code for her cheating on him. Adam was thankful that him and Eve just realized that things weren’t working between them and they just decided to be friends. Adam then went to get Lucifer a cup of coffee to help him through the rest of the day.

Lucifer: Thank you, you are a sweetheart.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam smiled, a blush painting his cheeks: You deserve to have someone care for you after you care for everyone all day.

He kissed the back of Lucifer's hand before letting him look over the papers.

Lucifer: You're like an angel..... This might actually work.

Adam: I sure hope so. You deserve to see your daughter.

And not just see her but have her live with him.

Once Lucifer was done work he went with Adam back to his place to relax for the rest of the night.

Adam: Sorry this place isn't that great.

Lucifer: Are you kidding me? This is a really nice place.

That night before he went to bed, Lucifer called his lawyer and left him a message to get back to him about fighting for custody.

Adam smiled: You've got this. I'll be there with you every step of the way.

The week went by and when Lucifer needed somewhere to rest during the day he went to Adam’s since his place was closer to the facility. His lawyer said he would help him. He just needed proof that Lilith wasn’t fit to raise Charlie. Lucifer had to admit it was very nice to have Adam take care of him. Right now they were going to pick up the kids since they went to the same school.

Lucifer: I didn’t know that Cain and Abel were in the same class as Charlie.

Adam: That will make things easier when you get custody of Charlie.

When Adam got out of the car Cain and Abel ran over to him. Lucifer found them to both be very cute. While Cain looked the most like Adam, he saw some of Adam in Abel.

Adam: Remember when I told you about Lucifer, well this is him.

Abel: It’s nice to meet you.

Cain: Are you dad’s boyfriend?

Adam blushed at that question since he hadn’t thought to bring up what their relationship was. He hadn’t really thought of what Lucifer would seem him as.

Lucifer: Yes, I am your dad’s boyfriend, I do love him very much.

Hearing Lucifer call him his boyfriend and that he loved him very much made him very happy.

Cain: Cool.

It was also cool that his sons accepted his relationship with Lucifer as well. Just then a little girl with blonde hair ran over to them when Lucifer stepped out of the car.

Charlie: Dad!!!

She threw her arms around the short blonde man.

Lucifer: Hey sweetie, I missed you.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Charlie: I missed you too! It's been forever!

It really felt that way, Lucifer hardly gets to see her anymore since Lilith took full custody and made sure that Lucifer was working a lot.

Lucifer: Well I'm here now, we have the whole weekend and we're going to have a lot of fun. There's someone I want you to meet honey. This is Adam.

Charlie looked over to Adam and smiled: Hi, it's nice to meet you.

Adam: You too.

They decided to go out for ice cream, Lucifer listened to Charlie talk about her day as the boys told Adam all about theirs.

He would hear back from his lawyer on Monday back official dates and times, he just hoped it went well.

Lucifer: Sweetie, I can't promise anything but I'm gonna try to make it so you can always live with me.

Charlie's eyes lit up: Really? You mean it?

Lucifer: I do. I miss you so much, it's not the same without you here.

Charlie: I miss you too, it’s not the same without you. Mom always leaves me with the nanny when she either goes shopping or on another date.

Lucifer wasn’t surprised because Lilith never seemed like the type to be a mother. Charlie deserved to be happy and loved.

Lucifer: Having you with me and Adam was excited to meet you.

Charlie smiled at Adam as she was eating her strawberry ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. Adam thought she was very cute and he could see why Lucifer adored her. While everyone was having ice cream the kids were telling them about their school.

Lucifer: Cain, Abel, how would you like to spend the weekend at my place, I have a swimming pool.

Hearing that made the boys extremely excited, they wanted to go swimming soon and now their dad was dating a guy with his own private pool.

Adam: You just said the magic words to make them love you.

Abel: We don’t have to worry about others peeing in your pool.

Cain and Charlie had a grossed out on his face which made everyone laugh.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Lucifer chuckled: Yes, don't worry my pool is clean.

Once everyone was done with their ice cream, Adam took the boys home to get their swim trunks before going over to Lucifer's.

The kids got into the pool and swam while Adam and Lucifer sat in lounge chairs together with a beer.

Lucifer: This is like the perfect weekend.

Adam: It really is.

They could only hope that the rest of their lives could be this perfect.

Lucifer: I would love for you to be there when I go to court.

Adam smiled: Count me in, I'll be there for you always.

Lucifer was very nervous about going at this alone, but it was nice to have Adam by his side. They clinked their beer bottles together as relaxed until they had to get dinner ready. While Adam was cooking Lucifer came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

Lucifer: Thank you for being there for me.

Adam: Of course, I will always be there for you.

Lucifer: I really do believe that I love you.

Adam: I feel the same way, in fact I know I love you.

Hearing Adam say he loved him made Lucifer feel so much better. He had spent time wondering if there was something wrong with him. Lilith had even told him that he was unlovable when she said that she wanted a divorce after he found out that she cheated on him. But having Adam made him realize that she was wrong. He was lovable and deserved to be loved.

Adam: The boys like you a lot which is a good sign.

Lucifer: Same with Charlie.

Their kids were important to them and they would need someone that got along with their kids which thankfully happened.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Monday came all too quickly and Lucifer got a call from his lawyer saying that there was a cancellation and that he could move up their court date to this week.

Lucifer: We can do it this week.

Adam: That's great!

Lucifer nodded and looked over to Charlie who was coloring with the boys.

Lucifer: I'm just nervous. What if she wins? What if this was all for nothing?

Adam: Hey, it's not for nothing. It's for Charlie. The judge would have to be a mega dick not to let you win this time.

Lucifer: Thanks...... I love you.

Adam: I love you too.

They shared a kiss, they only had a few days until it would be time for court.

But Lucifer was determined to win, with Adam by his side he felt even better about his odds.

Mummy!Adam x treasure hunter!Lucifer?

Like, mummy. Egyptian mummy. Not a mummy mummy. You get it.

But if he's an Egyptian mummy, wouldn't he be a mummy mummy? Wrapped up like a burrito?

I like the idea! It's fun!

Well, see, I have a solution for that! Adam used to be an Explorer and because he's an asshole, he kinda got mummified alive. He also got cursed so he can't die so yeah. That's how he's alive lol well, "alive".

Mummy mummy sounds hot, actually. Not that I find mummified corpses hot- I'm going to shit about about that now.

Oh okay, that makes more sense. That would be fucking awful! So it's kind of like Night at the Museum?

Adam: It was so stuffy in there.

Lucifer: Holy shit the mummy talks.

Yeah, kinda! The only difference is Adam's a fleshy dude, not a wax sculpture and he's actually buried underground in an abandoned tomb that the Pharaohs guards would dump anyone who pisses him off in lol

-30 BC

Adam: Hey, baby, you're a lot uglier than all those funky drawings indicated, huh? Kinda catfishing if you ask me.

Cleopatra VII: ... *turns to her guard* Curse him with binding.

Adam: Was that Egyptian for "he's really hot"?

No Adam..... No it's not. 😂 He really needs to watch his mouth.

- Present Day

Adam: She could have just said no......

Lucifer: Who?

Adam: That bitch Cleopatra

Lucifer: Hold on, you had sex with Cleopatra?!

Adam: Pft, she wishes. If she was still alive... I used to look cute- and now look what those freaks did to me! It's a small bandage covering my jewels- which, rude, they could have used something bigger.

Lucifer: ...*his eyes slowly travel down*

Lucifer: Sure.

Adam: They put it all around my damn chest!!!

Lucifer: You know, this whole get up you have is someone kink.

Adam: ...A kink? The fuck is that?

Lucifer: It's-.

Adam: My ass is out?! Why didn't you say anything?!

Lucifer: How could I know!? Your ass is on the other side of you.

Adam: Ugh! I need to change.....

Lucifer: I'm sure there are fresh bandages somewhere.

Adam: ...... Haha so funny

Mummy!Adam x treasure hunter!Lucifer?

Like, mummy. Egyptian mummy. Not a mummy mummy. You get it.

But if he's an Egyptian mummy, wouldn't he be a mummy mummy? Wrapped up like a burrito?

I like the idea! It's fun!

Mummy mummy sounds hot, actually. Not that I find mummified corpses hot- I'm going to shit about about that now.

Oh okay, that makes more sense. That would be fucking awful! So it's kind of like Night at the Museum?

Adam: It was so stuffy in there.

Lucifer: Holy shit the mummy talks.

-30 BC

Adam: Hey, baby, you're a lot uglier than all those funky drawings indicated, huh? Kinda catfishing if you ask me.

Cleopatra VII: ... *turns to her guard* Curse him with binding.

Adam: Was that Egyptian for "he's really hot"?

No Adam..... No it's not. 😂 He really needs to watch his mouth.

- Present Day

Adam: She could have just said no......

Lucifer: Who?

Adam: That bitch Cleopatra

Lucifer: Hold on, you had sex with Cleopatra?!

Lucifer: ...*his eyes slowly travel down*

Lucifer: Sure.

Adam: They put it all around my damn chest!!!

Mummy!Adam x treasure hunter!Lucifer?

Like, mummy. Egyptian mummy. Not a mummy mummy. You get it.

But if he's an Egyptian mummy, wouldn't he be a mummy mummy? Wrapped up like a burrito?

I like the idea! It's fun!

Mummy mummy sounds hot, actually. Not that I find mummified corpses hot- I'm going to shit about about that now.

Oh okay, that makes more sense. That would be fucking awful! So it's kind of like Night at the Museum?

Adam: It was so stuffy in there.

Lucifer: Holy shit the mummy talks.

-30 BC

Adam: Hey, baby, you're a lot uglier than all those funky drawings indicated, huh? Kinda catfishing if you ask me.

Cleopatra VII: ... *turns to her guard* Curse him with binding.

Adam: Was that Egyptian for "he's really hot"?

No Adam..... No it's not. 😂 He really needs to watch his mouth.

- Present Day

Adam: She could have just said no......

Lucifer: Who?

Adam: That bitch Cleopatra

Vampire!Adam x Vampire Hunter!Lucifer

Adam: *staring down at his wine glass that has a garlic bulb in it* ... *looks up at his waiter*

Lucifer: How'd that get in there?

😂😂😂😂

You know what would be funny? If the garlic thing was a myth and vampires encouraged people to eat it and it doesn't hurt vampires.

But it makes people's blood taste better lol 😆

Oh my god- yes. Adam's just disgusted that it's the whole fucking bulb 😂

I can picture Adam being 100% committed to not revealing that he's a vampire to Lucifer, even though his eyes are red and you can definitely see his fangs. He also hisses.

Adam: Bro... this... this is literally undrinkable, I can't fit that much garlic in my mouth. Besides, that's way too much, don't get me wrong, I like garlic as much as the next greasy nerd in their mother's fuckimg basement, but this... this ain't it.

Lucifer: Oh... uh... want me to...?

Adam: Roast it? Yeah. Please. Also, take the fucking skin off.