For the Struggling Christian
Hi. I’m Ansley. I’m a writer for this blog, 31Women. I write about Jesus and glory a lot. I work in children’s ministry. I laugh at Christian jokes and say #blessed in real life (I even say the hashtag part).
I also sin. A lot. I am the prodigal son and his brother all wrapped up in one. Sometimes I am the Pharisees, looking at everyone with that disgusted glare: sometimes I’m the woman at the well. My ratio of “doing the right thing” and “screwing up” isn’t all that great. It’s really kind of awful.
There was a time, four short years ago, when I couldn’t stand God. Or Christians. Or anyone in general, really… but that’s besides the point.
Now I’m a Christian… but I’m not a great one. I am always stumbling behind the good. I’m really kind of awful at keeping up with the holy and righteous. I struggle with my faith a lot. My trust is shaky, my strength isn’t steadfast, I hardly ever say the right thing,
Maybe you’re struggling right now. Maybe you feel left out in the cold, forgotten and unloved. Maybe you’re sure things won’t change. Maybe you have prayed and prayed and prayed and you just feel like no one is listening. Because, really, can a perfect God really love a world so broken?
You know sorrow. You know what it’s like to ache, and you know what it’s like to grieve. You know anger. You know desperation. But, most of all, you know pain.
I’m so sorry, dear one. I am so sorry this world has been so cruel to you.
But Jesus is right there in your broken heart. He wants you to know it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to hurt. Your doubts aren’t anything to be ashamed of. It’s okay for your voice to tremble during a prayer.
When you go through trials, you will struggle. You will suffer. You will ache.
And God is right there with you, through it all.
He’s right there in your suffering. He’s wrapped up in the cruelty hurled at you.
He forgives you for all of your cruelty, too. He still loves you. He’s still there, even when you’ve given up on Him. He loves you through your trials. He loves you through your victories. He loves you when you can’t seem to find the strength to love yourself.
He loved the past you. He loves you right now. He’ll love the future you.
God will love you forever. Nothing will change that.
In the midst of it all, please remember there is a God out there who sees you. He hears your cries, and he hears your prayers. He is everything you’ve ever needed; He is so much more than even that. He is using all of that pain nestled deep inside of you for something magnificent.
Because all of that stuff you’ve been through? It matters. You matter.
You are not alone in your struggle. I’m trudging right along side you. Keep fighting the good fight: you’re doing such a great job.
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