Things Joe Says in His Sleep

Joe talks in his sleep sometimes. Here are some of the things he's said.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Agent 007

Agent double oh seven's in there, plus a couple of bears, and a big, crazy lettuce.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

My six foot

M: aww look who is handsome! J: not as handsome as my six foot cock! M: pardon? Six foot cock? J: yeah because I found this bag of hello kitty miniatures. And they're all messed up. So I'm going to refurbish them and sell them for Christmas. If I can't sell them for Christmas I'm going to sell them for thanksgiving. M: sounds like a solid plan. J: yeah except they keep talking about my six foot cock! M: well maybe that'll make them a quick sell this thanksgiving. J: (laughs) maybe. hey did I say anything in my sleep? M: nope!

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Back

I don't think you should crack my back for a while. I don't want you to break it!

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Bank

I had a dream I robbed a bank for you. I was one of those damn meddling kids!

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

The Meaning of Life

J: Hey Mirabelle. Guess what the meaning of life is?

M: What's the meaning of life?

J: Onions! [Uncontrollable laughter followed by snoring.]

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Perverts

This nation was built on the backs of perverts.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Fish

J: Hey Mirabelle! Mirabelle!

M: (waking up) Yes Joe?

J: Did you know that you are the most beautiful fish?

M: ...

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Uganda

J: If you keep acting like that, I'm gonna have to cover you in oil and chase you around the house.

M: Well, that sounds fun! Sign me up!

J: UGANDA!

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Japanese

J: Hidekimomo des ka.

M: Joe... Are you speaking Japanese in your sleep?

J: Momomomomomomomomomo.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Mullet

J: What would I do if I had a 9 inch mullet?

M: I don't know Joe. What would you do if you had a 9 inch mullet?

J: I'd cut it off!

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Grandma's

It's like we're trapped in this exponential grandma's house!

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Fuel

The dead ones can be used as fuel.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Ambulance

I'm so glad I'm home and not in an ambulance. A boo hoo wagon. A baby wanna ba ba mobile.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Poems

That's why there are so many poems. Because charcoal turns into diamonds and the diamonds turn into poems.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Cattle Blaze

I had a dream about the cattle blaze. I could have fed a whole herd. It's a mutation that causes cows to grow vegetation right out of their skin. All kinds of vegetables. Some of them were turning into lions.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Dove Coat

[M puts arm around J]

J: Awwww, you're my dove coat.

[thingsjoesaysinhissleep]

Boots

Yep, wearing boots and being a lesbian.