A Lover with a Slow Hand When I interview women about what they want most from a man, again and again they tell me they want a lover with a slow hand. This slow process increases her pleasure so that when his fingers and tongue eventually move to touch her breasts, her nipples are erect and longing to be touched. When he moves to her inner thighs, vulva, labia, clitoris, and vagina, she is already wet, warm, and ready to be touched. When she is stimulated in this way, her pleasure wells up from deep inside her being. A man is different. Directly touching his penis dramatically increases his pleasure. Many women don't realize this and frustrate a man by waiting too long to touch and rub his genitals. If such touching seems too direct for her, a woman can relieve much of his frustration with the weight of her body pressing against his groin. A woman needs to remember that direct stimulation provides maximum pleasure for a man. Because men are different in this way, a man needs to practice going slow. When he begins to consciously experience how wonderful it makes her feel, gradually it becomes more instinctive. A man needs to remember that to increase a woman's pleasure, he needs to delay direct stimulation. It will take longer and sometimes it will seem as if nothing is working, but eventually her pleasure will be much greater. If he takes this extra time, not only will she be happier, but he will also experience greater pleasure.
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, John Gray