Should you text him if youâve never really talked to him?
Hey guys! Hereâs my first post, and I wanted to tackle this topic... the topic you get so many different answers for. Let me get something straight though: This isnât about if youâve been talking to the guy repeatedly. This is if youâve never really talked to him, and youâre initiating conversation via DM or text. *Iâm not talking about dating websites. Iâm talking about school, work, etc.*
Iâve been through a lot of situations where this question popped up: and my friends always gave me the same advice: text him!
Of course, in this day and age we donât usually ask for numbers anymore - we find them on social media and message them then, right? Yes. Now do I think you should text him? No. Why? Because youâre leaving too much in the open. You message him. The ballâs in his court... and it could stay in his court. In other words âSeenâ after your message glares back at you.
Iâm tired of hearing âGuys like it when you message them and take charge.â In all honesty, and in my full experience, thatâs just not the case.
Thatâs why I want to give advice to everyone. Why should you message someone youâve barely talked to, just to âinitiateâ contact and hope somethingâll come from that? No. Have you ever had a true friendship with someone online? Highly doubtful; studies have shown that when weâre online we often take on a different persona than one would actually carry in real life. A loudmouth troll online could be the quietest, non-confrontational person in real life. Think about anonymity.
If you go up and ask a guy out in real life - you might get a shy and uncomfortable response (or the opposite, who knows). But online, itâs way easier to left you on âseenâ or turn you down simply because that person wouldnât have to deal with your emotions face to face. With a swipe, the app or tab can be exited, possibly never thought of again.
Anyways, before I go off on further tangent...
If you really like someone, you should talk to them in person and develop a relationship through that. Once you get to a friendlier stage where you can talk without feeling shy or scared, then you can text them.