... looking for a little bit of hope these days @thinkofsomethin - Tumblr Blog

omfg it's been like a month since i went to the doctor to start dealing with health issues and i've since been battling this stubborn af cold on and off and it is???? so annoying???????????? like why do i even try to take steps to not be a loser awkward anti-social leech hermit forever - i'm clearly in-fucking-capable of anything else and should just accept my fate lol

#just vaguely and yet somehow oversharingly venting about nothing and everything #behind a readmore 'cause i'm feeling shy today??? woaow

also i've started playing baldur's gate 3 and i have a lot of screenshots already and

here's one i captioned "he so pretty"

most of my screenshots might be of him and/or possibly astarion-

#i am very NOT FAR in the game - last time i played i got concerned about how to fix a corrupted save file instead of playing #...as far as i know my save files are nOT corrupted - knock on wood etc. - but that didn't stop my brain lol

eurodynamic

HADES (2020) | HADES II (TBA)

#i am being very patient about this game. very. i am cool and chill. (screaming)

sorry for not responding i kind of responded in my head and then when i realized i hadn't actually responded i couldn't just respond with what i had "responded with" in my head because it'd be too repetitive and too late and

edit: also i have to respond to things in a fair and balanced order except my brain doesn't work like that and this is very much the same old problems and i'm tired ok (also i have a cold. even though it is unreasonably warm. so everything just suCKS)

oh and update i figured out a username i want and like and IS ME ENOUGH anD it is available at most every places ... buuuut i went YOLO the day before and just changed to something at a certain site that only allows you to change username once every 2 months ... ... ... so the dilemma persists

(2 months later - the dilemma persists still because i could change it and so i did and then guESS WHAT my brain did a bad again and now we’re back at can’t change it and don’t even know what to change it too but it is wRONG and jfc i have no sense of self)

gOOD NEWS i have an appointment to maybe finally start finding the cause(s?) of the health issues that keep popping up now and then!!!

bad news it’s a whole ‘nother month away

also, i have a fantastic brain. somehow it manages to be convinced it’s not a big deal and i’m probably just exaggerating and i should just Get Over It, and at the same time it is freaking out about how the issues are most likely something VERY SERIOUS and, like??? pick a side??? wtf

it’s not that i can’t think of any usernames it’s just that nothing i think of feels like me enough and that gets my brain twisting about how i am actually kind of just nothing and then i just sort of spiral into existential dread

#learning to exist is apparently not easy

got ONE thing done, i like this accomplished-feeling

#...not gonna get the rest of the things done right now tho. don't wanna overdo it #no but. i'm trying?? and that has to count for something???? idk

lunian

modern!Ares i doodled a while back so why not to finally post it huh 👁👁

#um so i love ares and i love THIS #a lot #can't think of cleverer tags 'cause- just- look at thiS GORGEROUS #hades game

tempted to change my url to something along the lines of THOUGHT OF SOMETHING ‘cause then i can be like “hehe see, i no longer need to think of somethin(g), i have thought of something!!” ... why am i like this

#i can't be trusted with usernames apparently #it makes a bit more sense now that i can see the OBVIOUS name/gender disconnect from years past #but like. i have a NEW name now?? so why not make something with that!...#easier said than done since i'm weirdly possessive?? of my new name??#what a contradiction. hey i want to be referred to as THIS but also it's mine you can't have it #also on another note i should reply to e-mails and stuff but problem is i've started to do so 'in my head' enough times that i feel like...#idk. like i'm repeating myself?? if i type the things i've thought of typing. even though i haven't actually TYPED them.#oh how i ramble