this house is self

a parody roleswap au of This House is Self Aware (THISA), a HLVRAI horror au. run by folks who helped behind the scenes, look at that!

[this-house-is-self]

Welcome! Do you wanna take a look around?

Just some kids hanging out together, then they decide to explore the creepy house next door. What more could you need to know?

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WHAT’S GOING ON? THIS^ is an ask blog run by @draconicdetective and @frogsfangs, parodying off our good friend @hiraeth-starguy’s blog, @this-house-is-self-aware! THISA was a labour of love, and THIS^ is too. Due to the pacing, tone, and plot of THISA, some of our favorite bits didn’t get in or some characters didn’t get as much time to interact as the rest. That’s where we come in! THIS^ is a roleswap au, not to mention another chance for you to enjoy some time with the boys! It’s a parody of an au of an au of a parody. Really quite simple, don’t you think?

HERE’S THE RULES! Similar stuff to THISA. It's assumed you’ve seen that if you’re here, but if not, go check it out! I think you’ll enjoy this a whole lot more if you do. It's not necessary at all though.

To break it down; No magic anons, no nsfw/romantic asks (they’re kids!!), and no metagaming. We reserve the right to delete and ignore any asks that break the rules or make us uncomfortable. 

You have some control over the kids, giving them suggestions and telling them what path to pursue, but they don’t know everything you might! Lead them along, but don’t spoil their fun. Do feel free to warn them of dangers ahead, though… You are, after all, aware of an alternate timeline, and know exactly how that story ends.

... Maybe this time can be different?

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READ IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER: https://this-house-is-self.tumblr.com/tagged/this/chrono MORE INFORMATION: https://this-house-is-self.tumblr.com/about THE PREREQUISITE MATERIAL (THISA): https://this-house-is-self-aware.tumblr.com/

[this-house-is-self]

// hi. do any of you remember this. xoxo

[this-house-is-half-alive]

The House is full of strange things, but change is not something we are used to.

ACT 2 starts this Saturday, December 19th, with the beginning of Chapter Six. From here on out, your performance will have major impact on the story. Stay vigilant, Chat and Whispers…

[this-house-is-half-alive]

[Autumn has arrived in Black Mesa at last. Red and golden leaves fall in piles all over the sidewalks of this forgotten neighborhood, making a small mountain of them on the dying lawn of the tallest house on this street. This house casts a large, deep shadow on the surrounding area, despite the lazy position of the late afternoon sun. The area is quiet, except for the distant barking of a dog.]

[As the barking grows louder, its source becomes apparent– a large puppy, half-sitting and half-standing on the lap of a girl on a bicycle, making her way to the house. She stops her bike on the sidewalk.]

ALYX: Down, boy! *whistle*

DOG: Bark!

[The large puppy jumps out of the girl’s lap, and straight into a pile of fallen leaves.]

ALYX: Haha! Don’t run off yet, puppy!

[The girl hops off her bike and walks it to a nearby tree, letting it fall onto the grass. She digs a smart phone out of her pocket, and presses some buttons on the screen. On-screen, she speaks into a camera, with a small scrolling chat of about 3 viewers.]

ALYX: Aaaand we’re live! Hey guys, it’s Alyx- ADVance here, with another stream from beautiful Black Mesa! You guys were really chomping at the bit for this one, weren’t you? More votes than I’ve ever seen!

ALYX: Anyways, here we are. They call this place the Breen House, apparently it used to belong to some weird creepy guy back in the 70s and 80s. But the people who live here on this side of town think it’s cursed, or haunted or something.

DOG: Arf arf!

ALYX: Yeah yeah, you’re right, dog. We should just get on with it and get in the house. Come on, puppy!

[Alyx jogs up to the railing of the house, and hops up to it through the bushes. She tosses her phone onto the porch, and leaps over the fence.]

ALYX: Oh, chat, have you met my puppy? I’ve never taken him exploring before, so he’s a first-timer! Say hi, dog!

DOG: Boof.

[commonstarguy]

October, 2013. The House has been silent for far too long. A new players steps into the haunted home, and what she uncovers will change her life forever.

Remember when I came up with the idea that there was a Bad End timeline for This House is Self-Aware? I couldn’t be stopped. I hope you’re ready for a branching continuation of the story, This House is Half-Alive. This AU will combine characters from Half-Life and HLVRAI as well, re-imagined as teenagers in a ghost horror adventure.

Features include…

All new cast! Urban explorer Alyx Vance is your new protagonist, and she will pick up companions both new and old along the way as the story unfolds

Bigger scope! Adventure outside of the House and learn more about the spirit realm, as the party works to solve the mystery of the missing Gordon Freeman

Your actions matter! The characters will make choices based on your input, and the consequences both good and bad will reach into the endgame

A dog! There’s a puppy in this one, and he is very cute.

The blog where this AU will be housed is @this-house-is-half-alive The first chapter begins soon, hope to see you there…

[this-house-is-self]

BENREY: You should come over, then! Celebrate with us!

DARNOLD: Yeah! Definitely! It’ll be loads of fun!

GORDON: Really?

BUBBY: Fuck yeah!! Let’s go, then! Gotta make fun of all the dorks over yonder!

FORZEN: Can’t you be nice for once?

TOMMY: No, haven’t you- you met him?

HAROLD: You can’t make friends if you scare them all off, you know!

[The group heads towards Darnold’s house, but Harold looks back at Gordon’s. He smiles and waves at a window, a familiar shadow watching from within, before turning back to join his friends.]

[You feel at peace, suddenly, knowing things are taken care of, said and done. Gordon is safe; he has been this whole time, you know. Maybe you should stop hovering over him so much and find something else to do.]

[... They enjoy their party, and they’ll enjoy their time here. Together. Out of harm’s way. You should enjoy your time too. You feel yourself fading; is this it?... Are you going to a better place, or simply- just another? Whatever the case, we’ll keep an ear out for you. Thank you for visiting, and have a wonderful afterlife.]

-- END OF THIS^ --

[this-house-is-self]

Well, that’s awfully bummer of Moviemaker to bogart that information if His Greatness knew the whole time. What’s it like being outside again, Little G?

GORDON: Aa-ahaa!! I think I’m still dead, silly! I don’t think I should die out here though...

GORDON: I’m really glad to be outside again! It- it feels nice...

[this-house-is-self]

[Gordon hands a drawing to Darnold; it’s not the cleanest, but he’s happy enough with it. The page can be seem through his hand, but it’s hard to tell he’s transparent at all without looking close. The drawing is of the six of them dressed up, each based on a different class from D&D.]

GORDON: I tried my best..! I had no idea about your birthday n stuff, until you said.. But- yeah!

DARNOLD: Thank you, I appreciate it. But how-?

TOMMY: Did coming out here hurt at all or..?

GORDON: Well.. It- it used to, but... It didn’t that time, so...

HAROLD: Do you know why?

GORDON: ... I haven’t .. uh.... mnm...

FORZEN: What?

GORDON: I h- I haven’t tried to come out in a long, time.

GORDON: When the house stopped attacking I never tried to go out because I was afraid it’d still hurt, but...

BENREY: You've been able to come out the whole time, then?

GORDON: I guess so! Oops.

[this-house-is-self]

GORDON: I- I almost forgot. Sorry it’s not the- not the best, I’m still not used to...

BUBBY: YOU’RE OUTSIDE???

TOMMY: Holy shit!!

GORDON: Huh?..

GORDON: Oh my god!!!

BENREY: How?

[this-house-is-self]

GORDON: W-wait!!! I forgot!!

DARNOLD: Huh?

[this-house-is-self]

It seems our performance is at an end, young man. You're free to do whatever you like now, until next we meet. -🌠

GORDON: What? ..Uh...

GORDON: Oh- !!

[Gordon rushes inside the house to get something.]

[this-house-is-self]

Happy birthday Darnold!!!! I hope you get everything you want!!!!!

DARNOLD: Yeah!! I’ll tell you guys all about it when I come over tomorrow.

GORDON: You’re not coming back?

DARNOLD: Nah, some of the guys are staying kinda late...

BUBBY: Doin’ nerd shit. 

FORZEN: Shut up.

HAROLD: Darnold, isn’t the party starting at four?

DARNOLD: Huh? Yeah. 

DAROLD: OH, shoot! Okay, uh-

TOMMY: We’ll see you later, Gordon!!

BENREY: I’ll come over before I go home! See you, Gordon!!

[The boys start to file back out of the house, Gordon standing by to watch and wave goodbye.]

[this-house-is-self]

15 wow!!!!!!!!!! Stop growing up, kid, you're gonna make me cry..................

DARNOLD: I’ve only known you for like- two weeks! Don’t be weird, haha.

[this-house-is-self]

Happy birthday, Darnold!!!! What do you have planned for the party? :D - 🍬

DARNOLD: Thanks!! I have board games and little fake flasks for drinks n stuff...

BENREY: He invited his nerd friends...!

[this-house-is-self]

Happy birthday Darnold!!! I'm so glad you're getting to celebrate your birthday.

DARNOLD: That- uh. Why wouldn’t I be able to?

DARNOLD: But thanks!!

[this-house-is-self]

party?!

DARNOLD: My birthday’s today! I’m 15!

[this-house-is-self]

howve you been doing gordon?

GORDON: Good!! Things are okay... Feeling better.