Introspection and randomness @this-is-not-permanent - Tumblr Blog

Anniversary from lmf on Vimeo.

Pratyahara is the fifth limb of yoga and can be translated as sensory control. In a few words, it encourages you to pay attention to what you let in into your consciousness, because everything leaves a mark and has an effect on you. In the past months I have gobbled up countless hours of youtube videos poking fun at the US election, becoming horrified at the potential results and hoping not to have to endure them in equal parts. It did me no good, but it was both unpleasant and addictive to stare at the lows we can dive into. Like pulling out a scab that isn't healed yet; sometimes you draw blood. This is enough for me. I'm not going to continue pulling. If there is any relief in the result, is that I don't have to fear it anymore. I don't have to watch anymore. Good luck America, Luismi out.

The coolest cats in the canals of Vienna #vienna #canals #lovecats

#canals #lovecats #vienna

The first time I came through the doors of Barcelona airport was 12 years ago. I had spent a four month stretch in Belgium and was headed to Bilbao for Christmas. Those months in Belgium had been exciting and unforgettable, but also dark and alienating. I carried a lot of doubt, I guess I still do. But somehow everything felt alright when I stepped out of the building and I was literally blinded by the sun. Swapping the dark and freezing Belgian December for a 20 C, sunny Barcelona felt surreal. And to add to the confusion there were palm trees. Palm trees! What kind of magical land had I landed in? Well, one in which friends came to pick me up at the airport and the party never ended. Now, after all this time I come back to this airport as a citizen of Barcelona, flying to Vienna to meet my lover. It took a while, but the palm trees and the sun are now my routine. It just dawned that I don't have a plan B, nowhere to stay if something goes wrong, no contacts there, no support - and I am ok with it. Maybe something changed when I moved here. Maybe the sun erased some of my doubts. After all, whatever happens this weekend, the palm trees and my friends will welcome me back next week. The sun will keep on shining, the party will go on. #barcelona #barcelonaairport #sun #palmtrees #memories #selfconfidence #contentment #santosha #innerpeace #equanimity #friendship (at Aeroport De Barcelona T2)

#barcelonaairport #santosha #equanimity #selfconfidence #sun #barcelona #palmtrees #contentment #memories #innerpeace #friendship

The first time I came through the doors of Barcelona airport was 12 years ago. I had spent a four month stretch in Belgium and was headed to Bilbao for Christmas. Those months in Belgium had been exciting and unforgettable, but also dark and alienating. I carried a lot of doubt, I guess I still do. But somehow everything felt alright when I stepped out of the building and I was literally blinded by the sun. Swapping the dark and freezing Belgian December for a 20 C, sunny Barcelona felt surreal. And to add to the confusion there were palm trees. Palm trees! What kind of magical land had I landed in? Well, one in which friends came to pick me up at the airport and the party never ended. Now, after all this time I come back to this airport as a citizen of Barcelona, flying to Vienna to meet my lover. It took a while, but the palm trees and the sun are now my routine. It just dawned that I don't have a plan B, nowhere to stay if something goes wrong, no contacts there, no support - and I am ok with it. Maybe something changed when I moved here. Maybe the sun erased some of my doubts. After all, whatever happens this weekend, the palm trees and my friends will welcome me back next week. The sun will keep on shining, the party will go on. #barcelona #barcelonaairport #sun #palmtrees #memories #selfconfidence #contentment #santosha #innerpeace #equanimity #friendship (at Aeroport De Barcelona T2)

#barcelonaairport #santosha #equanimity #selfconfidence #sun #barcelona #palmtrees #contentment #memories #innerpeace #friendship

The simple things, like sitting in the sun and breathing it all in

Sequence 01 from lmf on Vimeo.

Quit Your Job

I think we can officially consider this a Bowie phase

Once a year, go some place you've never been before

Dalai Lama

#dalai lama #travel

Good bye, David.

Here it is, once again, the turn of the clock. This time, as every other time, it’s a different time. For the first time in 11 years I live in Spain again. I am back home. I’m not a runaway anymore, or am I? For what is home? Such a difficult question. Home can be a pair of socks, a glass of wine or a person. Or none of those.

I’d like to say that coming back to Spain solved all my problems, yearnings and shortcomings. Of course it didn’t. It did solve some though. I no longer feel I’m intruding. I no longer feel punished by silence at the bakery. I no longer feel a tiny clog in a big dehumanising machine. I no longer feel I should move to Barcelona at some point in my life. I did. But despite all that progress I do feel there’s still a lot of work to do. My daily routine, my yearly objectives and my inner dialogue are still quite different from what I aspire to. But I’m working on it. I’m working on it.

I could talk about my small personal achievements this year, about the mountains I climbed, the miles I ran or the poses I held. But we all know all those mean nothing on their own, what matters is what we feel about them and about ourselves. I feel good. I still feel a desire to prove myself, but I am growing more and more tired of trying. I feel I want to get to a more persistent sense of fulfilment than the one provided by ephemeral goals. It is hard though, I miss achieving. I still crave it. I still try. I sometimes can’t tell the difference between what’s dedication and what’s desperation.

It is amazing how still, at 36, one week at my parents’ can reduce me to a sullen, guitar playing, emotional hiding teenage pulp. What I hate the most is the feeling of powerlessness. That no matter how much I worked for my healing or my development a few sentences can revert me back to writing coy posts about my family on online journals.

So tired of this.

Miriam3 from lmf on Vimeo.

I'm started to feel that creating night be the only way around my predicament

Rest in peace Scott

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