This American Nap

Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge.

[cuntyarmand]

[thisamericannap]

skills

can go from 0 to weeping in 60 seconds

[thisamericannap]

me: *makes a mistake*

me: dang what the heck is wrong with me

brain: OK IM GONNA START SMALL AND WORK UP, SO RIGHT OFF THE BAT-

[baeees]

[thisamericannap]

omg ok I was just tryna sit here and enjoy a book and a white wine didn't realize I'd be coming face to face with my mortality in the wilderness

[petitetimidgay-deactivated20240]

why aren’t friend kisses more of a thing

there have been so many times we’re i’ve felt a rush of affection towards my friends and I want to kiss them as a gesture of happiness or excitement or just general human intimacy but I can’t because kissing is almost universally interpreted as inherently romantic or sexual. romance is not the only bond worthy of physical intimacy.

say yes to platonic kisses

[thisamericannap]

Nah

[thisamericannap]

rotten tomato review of my life

[thisamericannap]

[achievement-hunter]

Me in High School

Me in College

Me in Grad School

[morningmightcomebyaccident]

Ellen Page + Adjusting her tie nervously

x x

[thisamericannap]

my dad used to do this thing to avoid a company’s customer service phone maze, he would just press 0 over and over and would usually wind up talking to an actual person pretty quickly

but now because so many companies use voice activation, he just stands there yelling “representative” “representative” “representative” “talk to representative” into the phone

it still works sometimes but it’s tearing our family apart

[thisamericannap]

Google search history

kate mckinnon dating kate mckinnon girlfriend kate mckinnon single kate mckinnon relationship kate mckinnon who dating kate mckINNON TELL ME GOOGLE I MUST KNOW

[thisamericannap]

my phone just autocorrected something to ‘renegade gay,’ it doesn’t matter what, i liked that and i kept it

[thisamericannap]

I was just at Colbert, which I THOUGHT WAS COOL AT THE TIME What is lesbian jesus punishing me for?

[nevver]

La Femme Damnée, Octave Tassaert

[thisamericannap]

damn, is there a Meetup for this?

[thisamericannap]

the biggest strain on my relationship right now is that my girlfriend’s phone is too old to update for the new emoji

we’re so far apart....

[thisamericannap]

can’t believe someone wrote this book and didn’t even bother to interview me....... i’ve been working for this for YEARS..... no one gives credit where it’s due i swear.......