“What would happen if we planted a kiss? Like if we kissed the ground, would it go into the dirt and would stars come out?”
-little J

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@thisheuristiclife
“What would happen if we planted a kiss? Like if we kissed the ground, would it go into the dirt and would stars come out?”
-little J
I.. have.. to.. heehee your butt!
-little J
Where did all the people in the city come from?
-little J
At the chicken place..
Teacher: Do you know this plant is?
J: That’s a tomatillo.
J: we didn’t eat my favorite food!!
M: What’s your favorite food?
J: corn! 🌽 (starts crying)
“I’m going to draw you a house! ..what does a house look like?”
J: What’s that?
M: It’s trash.
J: Who put that there?
M: I don’t know, sometimes people drop trash without knowing about it.
M: (sees S eating a disassembled sandwich with no paper towel) Oh no!!
“Daddy.. I don’t know what your clothes look like”
-J
J: I can’t always give you hugs. Because I’m too damaged
Do you like crab sandwiches?
-J
My arms feel haunted.
-M
J: I’m going to get you a surprise tomorrow.
M: like what?
J: A grown up food.
M: what’s a grown up food?
J: an apple? from Costco! One.
M: they won’t sell me just one apple at Costco. That’s kind of their thing.
J: two?
*credit card swiping my cleavage*
“Did someone cut you here?”
-J
“There’s a lot of family in this house.”
-J
me: hi Santa, did you bring your reindeer?
J: yes!
me: was it really cold at the North Pole?
J: what? 🫥 oh uh.. let me check my phone (puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out his palm) ✋
Daddy peed in my pants.
-J
looking at a book about animal tails:
me: that animal is called a peacock 🦚 and you know what? that one is a boy.
J: but he doesn’t have a penis
me: well.. he might