Oh Frabjus Day!

I am Not!Alice, and this is not Wonderland. It is, however, a blog for all of my writing and the occasional art. Find me on AO3! https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcelainAlice

[thisisallthehattersfault]

if you still have your hogwarts house in your bio in this the year of our lord 2026 I'm blocking you

[thisisallthehattersfault]

i have a question, whats frotting, I heard it was a tame version of knotting

I'm gonna be so honest dude I've been laughing at this all day. What the hell would the tame version of knotting even be? I cannot stress enough how different frotting and knotting are and I am not sure who is conflating them or why but they lied to you. Why did you send this to my largely inactive writing blog instead of googling it. Have I ever even written about frotting on this blog? No seriously what would be the tame version of knotting???

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Mating Hunts and my Make Betas Weirder Agenda

I like mating hunts, they're hot, I like the idea of sexy tag being something that makes an alpha/omega pair both absolutely ready to go, but I wanted to think of a unique beta version of that behavior so here's what I came up with.

During a pack hunt for an omega, betas will Corral that omega into a pre-determined location, limiting the directions they can run in and keeping them from getting too far from the alpha(s) chasing them. This is mostly for the omega's safety -- they can get caught up in the chase very easily, and find themselves not paying attention to where they're going. Betas will typically scout the hunting ground ahead of time, and guide the pair towards a safe area, like a clearing in the forest. The feeling of being trapped and surrounded will further excite the omega, and the alpha will feel more secure knowing they and their mate are being guarded by their beta packmates.

Often this will inevitably result in pack-poly, with the beta(s) all taking a turn with the omega they've corralled for their alpha, or the alpha rewarding their beta(s) with their attention. Working collaboratively to corral an omega also gets the beta(s) excited, and they'll typically end up going at it with each other next to the alpha/omega pair. If this isn't poly, a beta/omega hunt will look very similar to an alpha/omega hunt, with the main difference being that a beta will typically catch-and-release an omega a few times before they finally mate them. While an alpha will usually claim an Omega as soon as they've caught them, betas like to... play with their food, so to speak.

Conversely, in an Alpha/Beta hunt, a beta will flit and flirt just beyond the alpha's reach, unlike an Omega who will try to go for distance. An alpha/omega hunt is a marathon. The omega wants to be caught, but they want to make you work for it. Meanwhile a beta being hunted will run, then wait until the alpha is close enough to see them, and then run again. And again. And again. A beta being hunted isn't testing your endurance, they're testing your patience. How long are you going to let them dance just past the edge of your fingertips? How much are you going to let them get away with, alpha?

[deadsprout]

i dont want to be in a fandom that critisizes the choices of fictional characters like they are human beings. i want to see THEORY and ANALYSIS and STORY STRUCTURE and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!! I WANT PARALLELS AND MOTIFS AND VISUAL CUES!!! They're not REAL they are TOOLS so stop acting like they are people who made bad choices and should be punished. of course they made bad choices!!! that shit is funny and cool to watch!!

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

oh we are never getting out of the learned helplessness cycle are we gang

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

the only person responsible for you is yourself. this means it is entirely on you to:

check the tags on fic

block people/tags that cause you distress

look up trigger warnings for shows/movies/books

if you cannot find warnings, or something hasn't been tagged, make a decision for yourself as to if you proceed or not

register when something is causing you distress, and stop consuming that thing

If you have a severe nut allergy and are given a snack you've never tried before, you ask what the ingredients are. If you eat it without checking and have a reaction, that's on you, not the stranger who gave it to you who has no idea what you're allergic to.

[thisisallthehattersfault]

I want you to know that your One Piece Omegaverse opinions are extremely correct.

I see you are also a man of culture

[ghetto-omega]

I've been thinking about this for a while, but what do you think is considered like,,, scandalous to wear in terms of omegaverse ? Specifically in terms of scent glands, bc I kinda imagine scent glands are like nipples in terms of salaciousness if that makes sense... ?

Like, nipples aren't inherently sexual, even if they can be stimulated during sex, but the prime function of nipples is to feed children. Scent glands are the same, right ? Like they can be stimulated in a sexual way but the prime function is to release pheromones.

This brings me to asking if wearing a popped collar can be considered slutty, or if going out the house without your glands covered is considered indecent. Have we considered shear gloves being a semi equivalent to sheer tops ? Would body suits with cutouts for scent glands be popular in sex work ?

[thisisallthehattersfault]

With the understanding that different cultures will have different standards for modesty and such

In my verse, Omegas are expected to cover their necks, chests, and even shoulders in more conservative environments. It's generally less important for them to cover their legs or stomachs, but in some cultures an Omega will be expected to cover anywhere they have a scent gland, either by wearing full-coverage clothing or by covering just the gland with patches or like, cuffs or scarves or whatever.

I make my betas sweat aphrodisiacs from their thighs, so they actually do need to cover their legs, at least to the knee but sometimes all the way to the ankle. It's less important for a beta to cover their neck, but in some places a beta with an uncovered neck can be seen as kind of saucy.

I don't usually give Alphas the same modesty rules, but when I do, they're expected to cover their mouths with masks or muzzles, and this often also means covering their necks, and even their heads or hair.

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Sexual dimorphism

[aquawyrm]

If there are three sexes, does that make it sexual trimorphism?

[thisisallthehattersfault]

........... Oh, fuck. It totally should.

[mikanseinic]

“how to recognize AI in fanfic” — hey so this is another not-gentle reminder that AI stole from us. it’s using OUR words and OUR sentences and OUR styles.

writing “long” paragraphs is not a sign of AI — it’s a common narrative choice many writers make both in fanfiction and in traditionally published novels, and AI stole it from us.

using an em dash is not a sign of AI. it’s a stylistic sentence choice that’s been an option in place of commas and semicolons for a very long time, and AI stole it from us.

long sentence structures are not a sign of AI, but are yet another stylistic choice writers often make to create a cadence and tone that mimics the flow of poetry, and AI stole it from us.

“YA narrative breaks”? i don’t even know what the fuck this means, but i can guarantee that AI stole it from us.

italics are once again a stylistic choice that many writers love to use to create emphasis, and it’s a more stylistically acceptable and traditional form of emphasis than bold or underline text. oh, and just to be extra clear: AI STOLE IT FROM US.

stop creating fandom witch hunts over AI when you know fuck all about what it means to sit and write a story, and to spend hours fiddling with sentence structure and dialogue to get the exact right tone. writers will stop writing out of fear that their work “sounds like AI” — IT DOESNT! AI STOLE FROM US! AI SOUNDS LIKE US! — and after a while, all that will be available on AO3 is shitty AI-generated fanfiction.

because yeah, people are going to continue to use AI to write fanfiction whether you “call them out” or not. but making a laughable thread on X that uses asinine criteria is not going to fix that problem. it will just push the real writers out because people will accuse them of using AI when they haven’t, and they will (rightfully) stop writing for spaces that attack them.

anyway. fuck ai.

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Holds up a megaphone

No, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat is not synonymous with "dark" or "problematic" content. Dead dove does not have anything to do with what specific tropes or story elements contained in your fic.

No, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat does not "amplify" any of the other warnings you tag for. Dead dove does not have anything to do with how graphic or long or frequent or prevalent a particular trope or story element is.

No, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat does not mean "don't like don't read" or "seriously read the tags." DLDR already means DLDR, and people should already be reading the tags.

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat is a warning for the context with which a fic presents its darker or more upsetting elements. It means that the bad things that happens in this fic will not be condemned or addressed realistically. They will be sexualized, romanticized, justified, normalized or otherwise celebrated and reveled in.

In other words, a fic that's tagged "Cannibalism" without a "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" tag, is warning for the cannibalism as something potentially distressing so that people who might find it upsetting know to avoid this fic.

If a fic is tagged with "Cannibalism" and "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat," it is advertising the cannibalism as something titillating, exciting, or erotic so that any freaks (affectionate) who are into that know where to go looking for it.

The fact that people have been so aggressively misusing Dead Dove for so long means that it is now completely useless for it's actual purpose, and two very different types of dark fiction are constantly being conflated, which makes it harder for people to avoid content that upsets them.

[doubledecks]

“While many people think fanfiction is about inserting sex into texts (like Tolkien’s) where it doesn’t belong, Brancher sees it differently: “I was desperate to read about sex that included great friendship; I was repurposing Tolkien’s text in order to do that. It wasn’t that friendship needed to be sexualized, it was that erotica needed to be … friendship-ized.” Many fanfiction writers write about sex in conjunction with beloved texts and characters not because they think those texts are incomplete, but because they’re looking for stories where sex is profound and meaningful. This is part of what makes fan fiction different from pornography: unlike pornography, fanfic features characters we already care deeply about, and who tend to already have long-standing and complex relationships with each other. It’s a genre of sexual subjectification: the very opposite of objectification. It’s benefits with friendship.”

— Francesca Coppa, “Introduction to The Dwarf’s Tale,” The Fanfiction Reader (via francescacoppa)

Someone put it into words. I gotta sit down

[queeranarchism]

(Why does this belong on my decidedly not-fan-fiction-related blog, you ask? Because this quote illustrates very well how assuming that anything where people put sex in it is debasing it, objectifying it, or simply ‘sexualizing’ it, etc. often misses a lot of the real picture of why people do that thing.)

[sh5]

occasionally I still see people complaining abt top/bottom discourse in fandom and like. my hot take? they don’t have to have penetrative sex at all 😭

[sh5]

people will ship two guys who are soldiers in a space war or in a horror movie with a supernatural killer, and you people expect me to think they’re spending the time douching and stretching (esp bc it’s always the bottom’s first time in these dumbass fics) so that they can have missionary anal sex in the cockpit or in the middle of the woods. give me a fucking break. they’re frotting.

[sh5]

don’t even get me started on how ppl talk about lesbian tops and bottoms……………..

[sh5]

[allshipsareok]

[zykamiliah-temporal]

i think we should bring this back (with some amendments ofc) if we ever needed an "internet etiquette" for the younger generations, now is the moment to remind them. purity culture kills fandom

as well as the three laws of fandom:

Don't Like, Don't Read (DL;DR), Your Kink is not My Kink And That's OK (YKINMKATO) and Ship and Let Ship

[sorcererofsolitude]

📣 Purity culture kills fandom! 📣

[atlinmerrick]

NO ONE LIVING hasn't been squicked out by something. There's over 7 billion of us, my delights and disgusts aren't universal. So I move on. Don't like the ship? Move on. Don't like____? Move on.

I am not an exception. Neither are you. I don't like it I move on and shut my gob about it because everyone everywhere is squicked out by something and they need to put the thing down and just…motor.

[rewordthis]

This but also:

Frames this entire post and hangs it over the fireplace.

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Sexual dimorphism

[quietwingsinthesky]

too much monogamy in fandom in general

[quietwingsinthesky]

as we all know, everyone falls in love once and only once with their one true love the first time, and if they had relationships before that they weren’t real and didn’t love each other, and you can’t love more than one person at once, and your friends and family need to be pushed out of the picture to focus more on your romance, and no one has sex with people they don’t love, and if they did, they’re dirty and they have to have hated it and the sex they have with their one true love after they’re officially together has to be better sex than they ever had before, and no one ever breaks up for any reason other than death, and everyone wants to get married and have kids. aren’t you fucking tired.

[quietwingsinthesky]

I SAID AREN’T YOU FUCKING TIRED

[lorkhanagendaposting]

"A society that separates its lore masters from its horny posters will have its headcanons written by prudes and its erotic fanfic by fools."

[antimony-medusa]

Sometimes I think I’m aro but for family dynamic. I see an interaction and nod and go “they are nemesis/mentor-mentee/best friends/co-conspirators in crime/desiring each other carnally” and nod my head about how good I am at understanding people and then I log on here and find the dominant interpretation is not that they’re evil advisors locked in a proxy war at ALL. I might be watching secret evil streams from a parallel universe where families have been banned, actually, and everyone else is watching a different scene I think.