Here I Am @thisisme-thatisall - Tumblr Blog

eldritchbauble

Personal goals at this point are just like:

Fuck severely

Get fucked severely

Laugh so hard I cry good and often

Get right with myself

Die on my own terms

poison-ivy-on-drugs

emotionaleating

my biggest s3xual fantasy is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me lol

goth-queen

draconym

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

tearlessrain

most “protect the children” campaigns come with the implication that what’s best for children is 1950s white christian nuclear families and rigid adherence to the status quo, and having been a children I can definitively say that is very very incorrect

thoughtcascades

i want to be touched like i’m something worth keeping

goth-queen

tasmanianpossum

(flirtatiously) yeah, you can get me as high as you want.

neurodivergentaf

it's so wild when your parent changes when you become an adult. my dad is very cordial and non confrontational - he regularly helps me with adult stuff like changing the oil or providing insurance tips. he's always smiling when i call him on video and providing jokes when i complain about college

when i was a kid, i would have to tiptoe around his anger issues often, sometimes running quietly past his work table until he got his own place completely separate from our family, locked away for days. every so often he would start screaming in the car and trying to hit me or my brother for talking too loud while my mom attempted to calm him down as he swerved on the road. and now he, smiling, helps me with car insurance.

like oh, this is just who you are when you have power over someone, and this is who you are when you dont have power over someone. no wonder you can have a normal life, friends, work while scaring the shit out of your kids and wife. i see it now. i see why no one would have believed me. that, i think, is one of the core fears of trauma - seeing the outside of it from the perspective of other adults that brushed you aside, and understanding. of course, that understanding gives the opposite of solace; it just gives you more grief with nowhere for it to go

the-quasar-hero

We do not combat racism because it’s fun. We do not point out misogyny for giggles. We do not speak up about transphobia for laughs. We do not stand against bigotry for our amusement or the opportunity to feel superior to others, it’s because if left unchecked; it will claim lives. Just because they’re commonplace, spread throughout society and casually thrown about by the average person, doesn’t mean it’s beneath the effort of correcting. Indeed, it is because it is commonplace, that it deserves diligence. The best weapons aren’t always the loudest, it’s the ones you don’t perceive as a weapon.