here i go

hey im lauren and this is my 365 blog but itll prob be me bullshitting alot of the time too

[thisismy365blog]

like,,,,,,,, he wants to date but i just wanna fuck and move on but also id date him but also i dont “do” the whole dating thing. id just rather have a few friends w benefits 

[thisismy365blog]

last night was so nice

[thisismy365blog]

april 5th, 2015 

thursday was probably the best most fun day of the whole year i went to DC with zach and we went to the zoo and ate at this cute lil cafe and we explored the town and went to see the only da vinci in america we were in the national art gallery and we sat on this big couch and admired this massive painting in front of us and just talked about it for a good 10 minutes and i didnt know he cared that much about art to have a discussion about it but wow it was so nice. he was so interested and we were laughing and joking and it was great and he kept saying he had a great time and it was just so nice to have someone to talk about art with. and he said he might stay in pennsylvania for school after all which i hope is true cause texas is too far. i just dont want him to leave he became so important to me so fast. 

also i was texting him before and i said that hed be one of the people i stay friends with after college and i didnt want that to sound too weird or clingy but then he was like oh thank god cause i want us to say friends too and its just so nice to feel wanted even if its not romantic. like someone wants to be friends with me even when its not cause were just conveniently in school together.

[namelessin314-deactivated201601]

What would you ask for, if you knew the answer was Yes?

(via s-eptember)

[hella-g4y]

Today my biology teacher asked me what I found attractive in men and I said their girlfriends, that is by far the highlight in my school career so far

[railroadsoftware]

whats that feel when no bf

[sayakist-archive-blog]

relief

[thisismy365blog]

march 27, 2015 idk im just really upset

[thisismy365blog]

day 10/ march 20th 2015

ive been so nervous to be around you this week and i dont know why i feel like im bothering you. it was nice to spend today together and watch scary movies and i was talking to my mom and i told her you were transfering and we cant get the apartment and idk im just sad cause youre really important youre the only person that has the same views and same personal experiences as me and idk when i talk about that stuff with other people they dont get it but you do and im just gonna miss it next year and i wasnt sad at first but now that people are always asking if im sad im getting a little sad. im good at being detached from people and ill probably do it with you but i dont want to

[thisismy365blog]

day 7/ march 17th 2015 i was gonna go to the gym but you said we'd hang so i was gonna go later but then we never hung out and i never got to go to the gym. i just feel so massive lately. wyatt took a picture of me on a swing and i just looked huge honestly why is anyone friends with me im so silly for thinking you like me why do i think i have any chance with you. ok but like on the bright side my art midterm wasnt that hard and i got my first A in college for my personal productivity software class and im ahead in that class and it was a good academic day, bad emotional.

[thisismy365blog]

day 6/ march 16th 2015

i told chels i wasnt sad that hes leaving but shes sad for me bc shes never seen me bond with someone so fast and now hes leaving and she was like lauren you need to chase after him go to oregon. and now im sad bc i had someone rooting for me. obvi im sad that hes leaving but i dont blame him at all if i had the pick of going to 3 division 1 schools id be out of here so fast idc. im honestly really happy for him he didnt seem happy here. and he told me to go with him like damn

[thisismy365blog]

day 3/365 

march 13th friday the 13th ooooo

im thinking about transferring schools cal is just too expensive and im not happy with where i am. i hate that im bored all the time and i need to be near a city literally any city im going stir crazy. every break i go home my dad always reassures me that i can change schools whenever i want and this time when he asked if i wanted to go back i hesitated but i said yeah ill stay. i wanted to leave ever since the first semester but i was scared and dumb and people begged me to stay and every semester after, ive wanted to leave. im old enough to make this decision and i cant worry about hurting other people in the process anymore. i need this to get ahead in life. im just worried that when i tell my dad i wanna go to a diff school he’ll take it as i want to come back home/go to a closer school. i was looking around at colleges and like this one in Michigan its cheaper than cal and they give out MACBOOKS to their students and replace them every 2 years like!! i rly wanted to find one in washington state but theyre all super expensive. im gonna tell my dad tonight and see what he has to say. i want to have a college or two in mind but i need to see if he has any limitations for me. idk im scared but im happy im finally doing this.

[nentindo-deactivated20210501]

[thisismy365blog]

day 2/365 march 12th today was fun i went to shake shack with jeff and priscilla for the first time and we went to ikea and played house. im making plans with boy and im just in a good mood holllla

[thisismy365blog]

this heart to heart is so nice im so glad this is happening

[thisismy365blog]

i looked super good today and you said some nice things to me so today was nice and sad and bittersweet

[thisismy365blog]

alrighty well day 1

today was alright but i got a really sad text and i hate that i cant talk about with anyone and :((( but then i went to friendlys and i look hot AF today and i did really well driving. ill post a selfie l8r

[thisismy365blog]

hello well im restarting. this is day 1/365 (march 11th 2015). its 2am and i feel like this is a good idea. i havent used this since 2012 and looking back on my little warning and all the posts is really making me realized how much i have and havent changed in the past 3 years. im gonna try to post a selfie everyday but no promises. ill prob talk about my weight a lot so tw i guess.