this is not art critique

Did you hear? Infamous critics, Johann von Kimaris (rumored demon), Peter Paul Smithson (the one & only), and Michaelangelo Merisi da Vinci (not that one), are here to write about art from the internet to sad sad art — all the while listening to lofi tunes & drinking fine juice (as esteemed white men do). Expect the unexpected from them - from tattooed stone sculptures to art that makes them emotional. Learn more about their personal lives and insecurities while reading about art. As a spicy bonus, there may even be links to other related works — all for you to peruse at your leisure. The at-times pretentious group may even pose some shocking hot takes on contemporary art, so it’s best to be prepared. Bring your own fine juice. Bring your mind or what’s left of it. Bring your cat to type a comment or two — they like art too.

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Welcome!

Hello! Welcome to the blog Thisisnotartcritique! 

If viewing on desktop, please click on the small icon with the three lines on the bottom left corner to explore our About page, our personal biographies, as well as the theme navigation.

If viewing on mobile, below are the themes we’ve covered so far in chronological order:

1. Blue Art to See at Midnight 2. Weird Art 3. Things that Make You Sad 4. Internet Art

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All Hail P.P. Smithson

Given how niche your previous themes were and how broad internet art is, why write about this theme? 

P: Internet art and our previous themes are not mutually exclusive, in fact many of the work that we have talked about in the previous themes are from the internet - what is not on the internet these days. But to answer your question, we want to explore new genres of art, if you cannot already tell from our atypical themes. Internet art here perhaps acts as an umbrella term for our themes. 

What’s your favorite type of internet art? 

J: Considering how much time I spend on the internet, what don’t I like? I love the shitty YTP videos (which is a pun); and also digital art, because it’s something I like to partake in. I also enjoy looking at things on the internet that are accidentally art, you know? Above all though… I just love videos! Movies, documentaries, vlogs, jokes.. 

M: Wow, you actually know technology, old man. 

J: There’s a lot I know, actually. I’ve a good few millennia on you, young man. But enough of that. Let’s let Peter speak!

P: My favourite type of internet art are the videos that loops infinitely on instagram, be it a jelly-like person getting squished (not gory), or a pendulum that swings back and forth through an opening in a highly satisfying manner. The automatic looping shifts how I view the video, and I thought that is an interesting aspect of internet art - your perspective is filtered by the structure of the platform that it is shared on, if that interacts with the art. 

Is internet art the future of art or simply a contemporary competitor? 

M: Loaded question. Depends on your perspective and how you define Internet art — like I said before, it’s none and all of the above — it’s the medium, the platform, the artwork itself, archive, gallery, and more. Digital art differs from internet art, but both are slippery. What do you define as internet art? 

Without a collective philosophy, can it be compared to movements such as modern art and postmodern art, which have their own sub-movements e.g. Dada-ism and neoclassicism? 

As virtual and augmented reality lead to digital spaces and artworks that don’t have to be realistic but are ultimately grounded in our imagination and senses (you can’t paint with a color you don’t know), internet art has the potential to be the future. 

However, given how extensive the internet is in our work, and personal lives now, it is timeless. It’s a massive archive, and so it’s past, present, & future. Not just for art, but for everything. 

Unless World War 3 happens and we’re back to dirt, the internet is here to stay, and likewise internet art. Contemporary art has no singular movement. Is contemporary art not just postmodern, or post-post modern, or even post-post-post-to the infinite power modern art? 

People will always go back to previous mediums and platforms like classicism, vinyl, retro, whatever. Contemporary competitors are a compelling idea, but there’s always an audience for any type of art. After all, art doesn’t have to make money or function — it simply is. But I’m just an old white man. What do you think? 

If you were an artist rather than a critic on the internet, would you take on a persona? How would it differ from your critic persona? 

J: It would be fun, wouldn’t it? The idea of playing another role in a professional sense, or maybe to adopt the personality of someone perhaps the complete opposite of me: an awkward repressed mortal little kid who is super lonely but cannot communicate that longing for social interaction with others due to their inability to trust or feel Anything anymore… that would be fun! It would also be incredibly difficult, I’d imagine, to keep up that act. 

But then again, who doesn’t wear a different persona to different events? My work personality differs greatly from my Friday night demeanour, and none of those compare to my true form. I’d show you guys, but I’m afraid you’ll be too scared to compliment me.

M: Ha. Ha. Don’t worry, you’re already scary-looking, Hans. 

Anyways, funny you ask that. I was an artist turned critic. My name, Michelangelo Merisi da Vinci, is an amalgamation of Michelangelo who painted the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio who painted The Calling of Saint Matthew, and Leonardo da Vinci the Mona Lisa. My parents were weird — amateur critics and artists themselves. 

The internet allows for anonymity and even encourages it with avatars and usernames and multiple accounts. Even now, I write under MMXX or Michelangelo Merisi da Vinci, a white male critic who still remains charming despite his receding talents. But what if I’m ancient Hans or sharp Pete or the average Joe? Am I truly white or male or straight? Am I privileged? Did you respect my critiques more, less, or the same? Am I a liar — and if so, the question is did I lie from the start or just now? 

Remember, dear, a mask only makes man honest. 

As an artist persona, I think I’d want to be closer to my true self as a matter of pride. If my work is applauded as masterpieces, I want you to remember my name. My legacy. I’d be more vulnerable inherently as my artwork would reflect me more than my critiques. However, it is tempting to adapt another persona whether for the anonymity, or the possibility of more success. But who do you think I am? I’ll be your dream. 

P: As a critic, I have been told, and I sometimes catch myself being very harsh on others. I don’t take offence in that, as I believe the point of a critique is to challenge the original, to evoke more thinking! Artists work on the project for a long time and they need a fresh pair of eyes to point out what’s missing. Nonetheless, I have been trying to contain my criticisms and get out of trouble…. But if I were an artist, I would be grateful to receive the blessing of a brutal lashing from P.P. Smithson, be humble and just listen to what I have to say. 

J: I want a brutal lashing from P.P. Smithson!

M: Weird kink but okay.. Should we sacrifice your art then, Hans? I’ve seen your scattered canvases — you should stop hogging up the kitchen. 

J: What about your bedroom ceiling? We might as well photograph that old thing and let PP decide which is better.

M: Bitch, it’s vintage. You’re just ancient but you still paint like a toddler throwing a tantrum with dollar store acrylics. 

J: What can I say, I’m a big fan of the Expressionists. But let’s be adults here: what do you think we should write about next? You being the audience, of course. 

M: Should P.P. Smithson be brutally honest about Hans’ art? Let us know in the ask box! Say yes (: 

J: All Hail the Brutal P.P. …

Photo: Purl, 2018

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Virtual Pride Floats, TSA (Toronto Society of Architects), June 2020

Disclaimer: I write this as a straight white cis male. 

I can neither confirm or deny the rumors of sordid affairs or experimentation in the past. Muses are often lovely and handsome. What can I say? I’m a romantic. 

Furthermore, while I may not qualify, I would like to be an ally. Any comments showing homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and/or other discrimination will not be tolerated. Please respect the QTBIPOC LGBTQ2S++ community. 

/// 

I write this “critique” to applaud this adaptation of the pride parade to the digital realm, and as an artwork that cannot exist as is in the physical realm. (Unlike digital art, gifs, video art, augmented reality that may be projected on physical surfaces). I fully support there being a pride parade in Toronto, and as many places as possible. 

Last year, I went to last year’s with the TSA (in person). 

This year, I went with a friend (virtually). 

In light of Covid, the TSA had a virtual parade float themed “Out” with 30 spaces lined in Church & Wesley Village, designed by architects, designers, and artists. Hosted on Microsoft Hubs, your avatar (standard or customized) could walk in and interact with these spaces. White buildings, blue sky, rainbow balloons and more. Beautiful. Elegant. 

This type of Internet Art can exist only on the internet. 

You might liken it to a game space, where your avatar can inhabit a virtual world. Only, there is no objective or points, but to explore and interact. 

On Microsoft Hubs, you can speak aloud. The closer you are to other people, the louder you will be and vice versa. Although this interaction imitates real life, perhaps, it is both comforting yet jarring. My friend and I would occasionally lose each other before finding each other and exploring the space. Snippets of other people talking. Laughter. 

You could also write or draw. Take photos or even selfies by moving the camera around. Place objects (that’ll disappear when you do). Enter each space and then return to the Church and Wesley Village. Walk or fly. 

As wonderfully architectural these spaces were, is art not limited by our senses? Can we create something we’ve never seen/experienced? Although there is nothing original, the virtual world has no gravity. No physics. No weather. No rules to bend or break. Must we impose them? 

While the digital recreation of Church and Wesley Village was familiar and simplified to white massing and form (so that the rainbow balloons and decorations stood out along with the black signs introducing each space), could or should more variation have been done? 

I won’t spoil these spaces as you can still go. Bring a friend or two. See a floating whale. Rainbow popsicles. Water. Hear music. Explore to your heart’s content. 

While I don’t know enough or anything to comment, I will say this. Quarantine has meant that domestic violence has increased. That many closeted people live in dangerous situations with homophobic people. That perhaps the only safe space is on the Internet (which too is full of danger and homophobes and more). How can internet art adapt and support the QTBIPOC LGBTQ2S++ community especially now? 

As blatant as corporations’ rainbow marketing is in June, as tiring as walking several hours in the Pride Parade is on a summer’s day, as far as there is left to go for LGBTQ rights… we have to keep going. As allies. As members of the community. As people. 

As with all art, internet art also struggles with accessibility. Digital art can have text captions to describe for the visually impaired. Read-aloud software can also aid the visually impaired. People with weak internet connection and/or old technology may struggle. Why is English the default language? Why is it still so Eurocentric? Why is American news so mainstream? For countries that have censored websites, artists, and more, how does the Internet exist as a gallery? 

For these Virtual Pride Floats, the TSA has considered people with motion sickness or other limitations — they feature all floats on their website with stills and descriptions. In June, they also had a big reveal on Zoom for people. You also don’t have to commute or take off your rainbow gear on the way home. 

However, there is also the question of security. In person, the parade and police blocked off streets. You could see crowds of people. You could cheer and hear more cheers. How does that work with public internet art? Especially with no password? Who monitors the space? What if there’s harassment? However, the avatars provide a sense of anonymity as well. 

Internet art is a broad category — there is no true definition. The internet is neither and all of the above — the medium, the platform, the artwork itself, archive, gallery, and more. Digital art differs from internet art, but both are slippery. What do you define as internet art? 

Regardless, the TSA Virtual Pride Floats were an enjoyable experience, full of fun surprises and gorgeous architecture, and immersive. Highly recommended.

If you have the choice next year, would you prefer an in-person or virtual parade? Or both? 

Please stay safe. You are loved. You matter. 💖

MMXX at your service

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Lighthouse, Jie Ma, 2019

By Johann von Kimaris

bgm: candlelight - sunset rollercoaster, ohhyuk

You know the feeling when you go to a new place, or maybe a place you know well through a different route, and you feel as if you shouldn’t be there? Or that maybe you’ve trespassed into forbidden territory, or that you’ve crossed the border to an alternate dimension, or perhaps even gone through time to a post-apocalyptic world where you’re the only person left on Earth? It’s the feeling of alienation and liminality, and above all, the loneliness.

The Internet as a platform is kind of like that, too. It’s an entire ever-expanding universe where new galaxies (websites) are born every day, and the different ones are all of vastly varying ages and constitutions. It’s almost impossible to please everyone, or in the case of this extended metaphor, to sustain life. Internet art, therefore, is a stupidly broad theme, but we wanted to show that we are indeed in touch with modern society, and also to celebrate the technological innovations that exist today. 

One example of modern technology in art is the usage of computer graphics. In the above image, a figure stands with their back to the viewer while they look out the monumental windows. Centred in the image, through the window, stands a lighthouse (a monolith against the elements). At first glance, it is difficult to tell whether it’s a photo, a photo manipulation, or a painting, which is part of the fun when it comes to digital media. Does it really matter? The feelings evoked by the image seem much more important. The faceless figure could be any one of us, and the bleakness of the environment is conveyed through the muted yet starkly contrasting colour palette. The overarching feeling of desolate loneliness prevails. 

Jie Ma, the creator of this picture, is a concept designer based in Shanghai, China. Many of his works have a similar sense of a post-traumatic world, rife with sci-fi elements and surrealist imagery, and even seems to be taken straight out of a movie. The lack of a visible face/expression on the singular figure is also a recurring theme, which creates a sense of mystery and provides a doorway for us, as the viewer, to place ourselves into the scene.

The internet is a cold and unfeeling place. There’s freedom in that, of course: you can post whatever you want! You can be as self-centred as you want. But the hopeful dreams people had about the internet in the past as a force that unites people are dashed now. Ultimately, the internet reflects the values of the offline world, often amplifying and magnifying certain issues that have always existed. 

Again, I am certainly grateful for its existence, since I am able to post my thoughts and share my writing with the void. Hopefully these words will resonate with someone out there, or at least shine some light onto their path. Kind of like a lighthouse. I’ll be here, till the end of time.

...

sources: https://www.visualatelier8.com/art/jie-ma

https://mymodernmet.com/jie-ma-digital-art/ 

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Who Dat, Emmit Fenn, Patrick Jean, 2020

By Peter P. Smithson

The internet can be a dangerous place, full of societal expectations and hate speech. It is an unregulated arena, as Andy Warhol once says, "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes” - though he did not specify good or bad. There is a region in this dangerous landscape that welcomes all, but only if you know how to get to it. Since I am feeling extra generous today, allow me to share with you someee wholesome content!

Upon stumbling onto a lone pigeon walking down the sidewalk in New York City, musician Emmit Fenn reached out to director Patrick Jean to create the most wholesome music video. When I first hear Who Dat on my phone as I walk down the street in my mask, avoiding the oncoming traffic (one other person), it reminded me of nights before the pandemic - it is currently 3 am and you’ve had too many shots, and the club music doesn’t sound too bad anymore. Feeling nostalgic, I looked up the song when I got home, and it did not fail me. 

Following every shift in rhythm, meeting every single beat, the pigeon struts down the street in the most fashionable manner. Confidently twisting its head to show off the shiny green coat around its neck, the pigeon dances to the music. Is it being personified? Or somehow that is how all pigeons walk? I don’t remember the last time I paid close attention to a pigeon, they are just pigeons after all. 

I never really liked birds, but this pigeon put a smile on my face. Being the critic that I am, I attempt to pick on the smallest detail to challenge the artist. I played the video again and again, yet I could only find myself bobbing my head to the beat, slowly befriending the pigeon. 

Perhaps there is art that is not meant to be overthought. This is a pigeon dancing to music, inspired by a pigeon strutting down the street. It makes me happy therefore I am happy about it.

...

See more: 

Emmit Fenn: https://www.instagram.com/emmitfenn/?hl=en

Patrick Jean: https://vimeo.com/patrickjean

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We Probably Need Therapy

What do you do with your sadness?

J: Usually I just drink. Stare at the wall. My sadness is a parasite, and my best friend, and the reason I exist. I also try to profit off of it nowadays and get some work done. I’m most productive when powered by overwhelming sadness or pure, unadulterated rage. Over time, you learn to ignore the leeches on your skin and embrace the darkness. And I guess you could say I’ve had a lot of time. Then again, I might just be the god of repression. I’m notoriously bad at displaying emotion to be fair, and it’s been 500 years since my last (mental) breakdown.

M: So edgy. Actually, we’re all looking into therapy because of our many, many issues. Especially Hans. 

Me? I sit with it like an old friend or enemy. Depends on the sadness, really. And why. If it’s a terrible ending to a great TV show, or a painting horribly restored, or a friend who’s no longer a friend, you have to feel it. Now, toxic masculinity dictates that men shouldn’t cry. I used to think that. But not crying only makes you weak. It’s okay to cry. It’s only human. Let the sadness wash through you. Goes for any emotion, really.

Some of the best art comes from sad people. However, pain is not necessary for creativity or even beneficial. Even if it did, we should not expect artists to suffer. What’s a masterpiece to a person? A paycheck to a person? How many mentally ill people didn’t get to learn art in school, didn’t get to pursue art full-time, weren’t taken seriously in their careers, or got sicker because of hellish clients and stigma? When I’m sad, I’m miserable, melancholy, a wreck, but I have to know why. Analyze myself. If you ignore all your pain, it will drown you. 

It’s okay to cry — it’s a release (scientifically proven after all). My sadness is mine until it’s not. My anger, my joy, my regrets, my dreams, these are all part of living. While people romanticize being dead inside, I’m not ready to die. I’ll just charm death instead. 

P: Most times I allow myself to indulge in the sadness - play sad songs, watch movies about dogs, and consume an unhealthy amount of sweets. It is not as miserable as it sounds, I just have to embrace the emotion, have a good cry, be all dramatic before I move on. Other times I turn sadness into power, fueled by anger and frustration. Anger and rage are often seen in a negative light, but they are valid emotions too! It represents unresolved issues, injustices that should have long been addressed, things that people should be talking about…. Anyways, that is how I deal with my sadness, I cry and get angry… but those are the times when I decide to face the problem and I am proud of it! ...*starts sobbing*...

M: There, there.. It’s okay Pete, we’re here for you. Look, I got you bubble tea. Hans, say something. 

J: I got a leech.

M: How is that supposed to help?

J: It sucks the bad blood out of you! 

M: Bloodletting doesn’t work! It’s absolutely medieval. 

P: Thanks? People say they are dead inside, but are we ever alive…I might as well give it a try.

J: No worries, they’re wonderful. Also delicious afterwards.

M: No, for Pete’s sake! Let’s watch a movie about dogs instead. Without Hans. Just kidding. Come on, OLD friend. 

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On Sadness

Melancholy today. I don’t know why. Or maybe I know just all too well. 

Don’t we all run from our problems? Run until the end of time itself? I know I do. Or would. Am I a broken man? An abandoned Toronto mall crying out in red? A relatable and gorgeously drawn comic on Instagram? 

No. Nonononono 

This isn’t so much a critique, but a pathetic cry into the void. When you paint the abyss, you paint your own face. Forgive me, it’s late and I’m just... a little distraught and drunk after my favorite TV show became a tragedy. How do we forgive ourselvess for all the thingss we write and do not write? For being an artist and becoming a critic? For not even being a great critic? 

Quarantine has made me mad. 

Or rather, I have. My own mind is my enemy. 

How are you, darling? Are we out of time today? Maybe tomorrow, or a century (which is worse I wonderami dreamingoristhisanightmarenightmarenIGHTmArE) 

I want you to know I love you. You are loved as a person, as an artist, as you. You might not be you right now, or the best you that you can, but you can improve. I’ll love you until you’re you again. 

Do we have time? What will it cost us today? My hands, my back, my eyes, seeing my loved ones, my fight, my art, my timetimetimeTIMEMONEY (Hating myself will not make me a better critic — I almost wish it did) 

i̸̭͖̥̼̚͝s̴̖͕̠̻̘̠͒͗͂̈́́̿͜t̵͎̟̊̌̋̏̎͠ḩ̵̡͔͕̖̹̊̑̓̏̄̀̂̇͆͋̎i̷̢͖̤̤͐̒ş̶̩̮̰͗à̵͔̯̠̱̺̫̙̟̫g̸̢̲̙̦͇̪̻͕̘͇̖̈́̔̔̕̚͠ͅͅl̸̢̯̣͕͙̬̣͓̣̰͇̫͇͆̀̎͑̓̃͒͒͝͠ì̷̧̢̛͚͇̘̫̥͉̼̭͑̓͠͝ͅţ̶͈͓̙̦͖̼̖̣̲̺̐c̸͙͉̦͍͐̿͂̋̂͂͊͆̒͗h̵̢̭̭̳͍͑̾̌͛̂̐́̾̅͘i̴̖̪͉̣̦̭̭̓ň̸̛̗̖̹̞̺̹͇̆̍̈́̇̽͑̚̚͜s̶̡͉̘̠̞̅̔̄ͅṕ̴͎͉͔͚̯̺̺̥̅̓͆͜a̵͓̣̺̘͊̓̉̿̀͌̌̄̈͂͝c̴̼̼̹͚̬̗͕̹͐̏͆̓̄̿̿̾̀͜͠͝e̷̙̼̩̥̹̓̒́̄̓̌̉̇͝ͅ

Instagram artist, @litarnes, depicts this so beautifully in their comic, with warm colors and white brushy words, and a character whose shifts from a three-headed disorientation to a faceless glitching body with a haunting question. As @litarnes captions, they “feel like it’s a constant looming anxiety [and guilt]... especially at this time where it is quite difficult to move forward” and that this is a reminder we’re drowning in the same boat, and “achievements aren’t a race” 

Maybe they’re right. But who put us in the boat? Why does this boat exist? drowninggggggggg

Does capitalism not thrive off of our suffering, strict work schedules and little pay, and no universal wage? Does social media not feed into our insecurities? However, as @litarnes asks for advice, does it not serve as connection as well? The digital realm isn’t necessarily a white cube, but what shape is it? 

How can we transform our spaces — physical and digital — for art, artists, and critics to thrive? My hands are sh-sh-shaking… I’m still- Is this dying? Anxiety? Burnout? Laziness ??? 

I’m out of time now… Is a relatable comic enough? Is it what we need? Maybe you can finish this “critique” — you’d do better, right? 

I’m sorry. I’m sad. I love you. I always will. 

MMXX at your service

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邦乔彦 - 梦, 2019 and 还有多少回忆 藏着多少秘密 在你心里我也许只是 你欣赏的风景, 2015

(dream)

(how many more memories / how many hidden secrets / in your heart i suppose i am just / a landscape you admire)

By Johann von Kimaris

Bang Qiaoyan (邦乔彦) is a Chinese digital artist, and often paints colourfully saturated natural settings with a single figure placed somewhere in the image. Their previous works tended to be more pastel and grey-toned, and featured high school girls in Japanese seifuku in casual, everyday situations like waiting for the bus, or painting in an empty classroom. More recently, they have used more vibrant oranges and deeper blues in their sunsets, but one element that has stayed the same is their rendering of clouds. Large, soft-looking, towering cumulus clouds are painted with a plethora of different colours, becoming the focal point of every picture. Looking at these peaceful paintings leaves me wishing I was the single figure in the image, looking wistfully at the imposing clouds, alone.

Putting aside my own identity if but for a moment, I’d like to write about the notion of youth. It’s a subject that many have danced with and is often romanticized. There’s something about the innocence of a young person who has yet to become jaded or burnt out, the liveliness of their ambitions, the unbridled potential that they carry. There’s a reason why there are so many movies and shows in media that are set in high schools or universities. Reminiscing, going back to the “good old days”, having peaked physically at the age of fifteen; people tend to remember the good things above all else. Nostalgia is a liar, as you should know, but who says that you can’t be friends with a liar?

However, the reality is that your memories are likely inconsistent and rose-coloured. Despite having existed for all of eternity, there are times I think like a human, and sit wistfully thinking of a person I met in mid-15th century Imperial China, and the way the world worked then… but of course, there were many unfortunate things then, like not having a mobile phone. I do think listening to indie rock whilst on horseback into war would be pretty cool, but that’s beside the point. I suppose the point is that change is hard to adapt to, whether you are human or not, and often we are sad about what used to be. I’m a big proponent of living in the moment, but I think a healthy dose of reflection is alright from time to time, and what better way than to look at Bang’s paintings? Those paintings are saccharine eye-candy, and make us feel both serene and inspired, lonely yet content, happy and sad.

...

see more:

https://bangqiaoyan.lofter.com/

https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/10746425/artworks   

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Anthropocene, AGO, 2018

Photo by Jesse Milns

...

By Peter P. Smithson

Framed onto the walls of the gallery, the subject of the photograph is unclear at first glance - cracking patterns and winding lines, who is the artist of these beautiful abstract paintings? Such textured brush strokes and vibrant colours...this mastery can only be possible in the hands of humans. 

Anthropocene is a proposed geological epoch, based on the significant impact and markings humans have made on the Earth - to the extent where it “deserves” to be named a new era. The exhibition at Art Gallery of Ontario, Anthropocene, showcases photographs and multimedia documentaries done by photographer Edward Burtynsky, and filmmakers Jennifer Baichwal and Nicolas de Pencier. The intention of this exhibition, obviously, is to bring to light the mass exploitation carried out every minute around the globe, that went unnoticed as we comfortably gather around the marble dining table for an indulgent christmas feast. “In the Anthropocene, there is learning for everyone - how small we are in the relative history of the earth, and yet how much effect we’ve created.” Indeed. 

A “large-scale” mural is projected onto the wall, yet nothing close to the scale of the site, that of the destruction. I walk among rows after rows of frames, like a hall of fame. I stopped in front of a photo, carefully observing the complicated patterns and lights and shadows, striked by the beauty of nature, yet confused by its specticality. After a few tappy taps on my phone, I get to know the name of the site as Cave of Wonders, a truly overlooked masterpiece by Russian miners. The photographs are powerful, it forces you to open your eyes. It objectifies the surface we stand on. 

From colonization of the east, to colonization of the earth. Are we finally fulfilled? That we owe now the time, it is the human epoch, it is our epoch.

...

See more: https://ago.ca/exhibitions/anthropocene 

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Weird.

How do you define weird, personally?/ What is weird to you?

P: Weird is a compliment, they stand out from the rest and make life interesting. Weird is experimental, a daring combination of materiality and subject, not another average landscape painting. When you look at art 24/7, you get tired of those…seems like weird is interchangeable with novelty. I would argue so because novelty sparks curiosity and interest, but it can also be intimidating. Perhaps weird stands between the fear of and the enjoyment of novelty?

M: Well-worded, Pete. I’d say non-conformist. Weird defies expectation, society itself. It is an outcast that will remain obscure, inspire a cult following, or fade into oblivion. In terms of art, it can be weird because of its materials, fabrication, concept, profitability, and/or the artist itself. Can trash, bones, or blood become art? Can marble statues be tattooed? Can a pale child-eating monster become iconic? Can a duct-taped banana make money? Can BIPOC poor and/or “ugly” artists make an impact? Ultimately, like art, weird is defined by its creator and/or their audience. No idea is original, but each person has their own voice. Does mine even matter? Who gives a shit.

J: Another label that humans enjoy using. I understand the usage of labels to categorize and organize artifacts, thoughts, and centuries of history, but they shouldn’t be used too liberally. Calling a person weird is honestly so strange: the main differences between you and the person you’re calling weird are the outside bits, which are only about 16% of your entire body. The rest is pretty much all the same. Even if people were to become the same on the outside, I have an inkling you’d all judge each other on sillier things like blood type, fingernail length, or mental fortitude. Likewise, it’s impossible to judge something as weird when considering the context it’s in, and even less so when in a vacuum. Art’s nice. 

M: Says the demon *coughs* 

Is it okay to categorize someone’s work as weird?

J:  Maybe not categorize, but free speech does exist. You can say what you want, whenever you want, and you have to face the consequences. So yes, you could call someone’s work weird, but maybe not when they’re standing behind you holding a stapler on opening night where they’ve invited their new girlfriend to the exhibition, and you’ve already had a few drinks too many.

P: Or just when they’re standing behind you. But I agree, I am not against describing something as weird, as I said before, it is a compliment. There is always a weird one in a friend group, I won’t name names here, but they are always fun to hang around with, right? 

Since you are asking, I would say it is more problematic to categorize, even though that is what we are doing in this blog… let’s say we are against conventional categorization and labelling!

M: No idea who you’re talking about, Pete but sure you’re not an absolute bore. Hans on the other hand… 

Anyways, weird can be derogatory or complimentary. As critics, we tread a fine line between being critical and yet compassionate. Even if and when we separate an artist from their work, our words can impact them and our readers. Is it okay to critique? To label? 

As carefully, as responsibly, or as carelessly as one might dissect work, art is a dangerous world for those who paint their hearts freely on their sleeves. 

My higher education, my sordid history as an artist, and my colleagues Hans and Pete don’t make me any better a critic than the proletariat or the average person. My charm might, though. 

But regardless, weird is slippery. Abstract. Alone, it makes no real statement. That in itself may be worse than any scathing injury. 

J: I’m starting to see a trend in who the punching bag of the team is, but when you’ve been alive for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

M: Bullsh**. I bet you’ll order UberEats after this to avoid facing your emotional problems. I hope you remember that time you said “you too” to that waiter in Rome centuries ago, you desiccated fuck. 

P: That is enough children.

J: I DID in fact order UberEats today. Nothing wrong with that, supporting businesses during a pandemic. Also, wasn’t I ordering for you? Your Latin sucked ass then.

M: Well, order directly then! Businesses barely make any money from Uber Eats with all their commissions. And you know what? You can learn a language, but you can’t learn class, Johnny. 

P: I said Enough. But good point there Mike, take notes.

J: … are we really going to let a mortal interrupt us? Fine, I’m leaving.

M: Finally! Good riddance. Pete, you want to get bubble tea? 

Pete leaves the chat. 

[thisisnotartcritique]

What is weird?

Italian sculptor, Fabio Viale, meticulously stabbing ink into a classical marble statue — modernizing and humanizing (or torturing) said artifact? But is iconography alone meaningful enough or creative use versus appropriation? 

See: Laocoön, without his sons, and his body marred by giovanni da modena’s painting of Dante Inferno — who was he to be killed by the gods and his death immortalized?)

Is this weird? 

AGO special exhibition of filmmaker Guillermo del Toro’s grotesque and gothic mind — from props, art, books, to his own library with rain sounds — showing his creative process? Do we measure an artist by the amalgamation of their work or only their masterpieces? Is film not collaborative? 

High-five: Exhibiting The Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth, 2016 — a towering monster mostly physical yet enhanced by CGI, which is the real version? Are any of them art?

Is this weird?

Last year a mystery grad student’s project inspired Daniels Faculty students (& possibly staff) to hide infinite rubber ducks around the building? A rallying cry of support and perhaps desperation? A need for absurdity — return to Dadaism?

 Note: Yellow is the school’s color, yellow washrooms, accents, and now… ducks

Or this? 

The pile of sand with an hourglass on top at an AGO group art exhibition of Latin American artists? A recipe for visual literacy (meaning)? To easily understand? 

Maybe this? 

Acclaimed Indigenous artist, Brian Jungen, creating a basketball court at the AGO and transforming Air Jordans and Nikes to resemble headdresses and masks as a statement on commodity fetishism, sustainability, and culture? 

Can in-depth exhibitions truly reveal and celebrate artists, especially living ones?

Or that? 

Scandal: Anonymous activist artist group, Guerilla Girls, exposing the Met’s misogyny in posters on New York public buses? Driving women/men/non-binary people insane?

See: Rejected commission, appropriated painting, ad on buses until it was cancelled for being ‘too suggestive’ — how does anonymity benefit art? How can public art be bold?

Is this weird profitable? 

Art Basel Miami goes bananas! Quirky Italian artist, Maurizio Cattelan, duct tapes a banana to the gallery wall, names it the Comedian, and sells it for $120,000! First edition eaten, second sold, third coming soon! 

Who’s more absurd — the artist, the gallery, and/or the buyer? Is pricing not as subjective as art? What does this say about the capitalism, money laundering, and high art? 

Note: The artworks at the fair were all priced a bit outrageously

Is this weird broke? Broke- broke- broken? Huh? 

Similarly to the pieces Pete and Hans chose, Lei Xue creates porcelain white cans and paint blue motifs inspired by the Ming Dynasty — modern & beautiful “trash”.

A statement on mass production & waste, handcrafting, and history? Aesthetic, but is it powerful?

Who is weird? The ones who make it or the ones who don’t? (dead or alive)

See: Exhibition projecting Vincent Van Gogh’s works all over a five-storey building in Toronto. Can we profit off a dead’s artist’s work? What is success for artists? Should we support small indie artists instead of mega corporations? 

Can we de-stigmatize mental illness for artists (and not make it both a marker and hurdle for success)? 

If you want to be sad tonight, listen to: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRfhDmrk

Am I weird? Wired? Fired? 

Why else would I be writing on this blog? 

Is art weird? Is this weird? 

Why?

                    Think again. 

                                                                                 MMXX at your service

[thisisnotartcritique]

ZX8000 porcelain, adidas X meissen, 2020

By Johann von Kimaris

The advancement of humanity to its current late-stage capitalist form is something I have always been quite wary of. It seems, to me, unsustainable in the long run, and if humans want to progress as a species and do things like take over the neighbouring Andromeda galaxy, it would probably do more good for them to reassess their various governing systems and do a bit of an overhaul. However, there are times when I come close to understanding that consumerist perspective. These moments are far and few between, and usually are limited to practical items like cows or a vineyard, but recently, there’s been something that has caught my eye, inciting a rare yearning for materialistic goods: a pair of sneakers.

A collaboration between Adidas and Meissen, this one-of-a-kind (literally) shoe combines the historical with the modern, showcasing multiple different hand painted porcelain designs on different parts of the leather sneaker. Reminiscent of the porcelain popular in the 18th and 19th centuries across Europe and parts of Asia, the sneaker evokes a strong sense of luxury and delicacy. Imitation of traditional Chinese porcelain glazing styles and decoration is imitated again when it is applied to the sneaker, and features symbols such as the dragon, fish, and flowers. (Meissen, a German company over 300 years old, is one of the first producers of “china” in Europe in the style of Chinese porcelain.) Blue and white porcelain, red copper glazes, and patterns resembling the textiles of the 18th-19th century are prominent on the painted leather. It’s an extravagant and extremely useless item, and yet I want it.

It’s definitely weird, if you’re considering its practicality. It’s a shoe, which means it should be worn and desecrated on the streets, wearing down the imprints of you and your life into its sole. But it’s also decorative, with its delightfully nostalgic and painstakingly hand painted patterns. It’s pointless! It’s art! It’s also lovely, since it’s being put up for auction soon later in December, with the proceeds going to funding arts education in New York City. If I had a spare million dollars, I’d definitely drop it here at this auction. Actually, I might be able to muster up a few coins now, so if you need me this week, check out the auction. 

...

https://www.designboom.com/design/adidas-meissen-hand-painted-zx8000-porcelain-art-sneaker-12-01-2020/

https://www.sothebys.com/en/press/sothebys-to-auction-a-singular-one-of-a-kind-sneaker-by-adidas-and-meissen-the-zx8000-porcelain

[thisisnotartcritique]

One Man’s Junk, Laura Moore, 2013-2016

One Man’s Junk 2013-2016 Indiana Limestone, 40 x 30 x 20 inches           

Curbside Video Still

By Peter P. Smithson

The quote “one man’s junk is another man’s treasure” instantly came to my mind when I  came across Laura Moore’s One Man’s Junk  - where she is literally collecting digital junk and turning it into works of art. Moore’s fascination with abandoned computers began when she repeatedly noticed old computers around her neighbourhood, and soon she went on bike rides in search of these items. Documented in the video work Curbside, it surprises me how these computers appear in the most obscure places in the city, but not limited to people’s front yards - how did I never notice a whole box computer in the middle of the pedestrian road? (Oh right because my trusty Cadillac always got my back.)

By transforming plastic electronic parts abandoned on the curbs to limestone sculptures sitting in a gallery, Moore monumentalizes these products of fast-paced consumer culture, at the same time comments on the rapid technological advancement and the waste that comes with it. The use of stone, which Moore regards as “the principal material of monuments and sculptures that tell our history”, allows computers to resemble the fallen colonnades of the Parthenon, or the citizens of Pompeii trapped in a fleeting moment. At a 1:1 scale, these machines are approachable and familiar, yet it weighs so much more, contextualizing the burden it imposes upon our environment.

Nonetheless, the concept of artistic production about technological waste seems intuitively paradoxical. Carving sculptures of computers for the gallery, then where does it go next? Another work by Moore, 100 USB’s, addresses this question by placing her small scale soapstone sculptures into natural rock formations. It is true that this monumental material differs from manufactured plastic shells, one could consider it as a return to nature, a friendly reunion. But this could also be framed as a redistribution of exploited resources. 

Speaking of broken things, perhaps she would be interested in that old victrola in the garage...

...

Laura Moore is an interdisciplinary artist based in Toronto. Her sculptural works, which come in various forms and materials, can be found in galleries but also along the rocky shores in Norway. See more at: https://www.lauramoore.ca/

[thisisnotartcritique]

[thisisnotartcritique]

Blue Art, Red Wine

How did we choose this theme? Blue art to see at midnight (you and me)

M: Well, it was late at night, I was drinking with Peter and Johann, and we were frankly tired of art. The rhetoric, the jargon, the rigid categories of art, god, it was all so boring and conformist. The boundaries of location and time, for example, Dutch Still Life 1700s, no longer apply in this day and age. We wanted to move beyond that, into the soul, and truly connect with youth. Pete’s even got us hooked on this uh what’s it called low, low music? 

P: Right, we are inspired by lo-fi music album titles, it puts you in the mood to look at art. When you get home from a tiring day at work, I like to pour a glass of red wine and listen to lo-fi. It reminds you of the hours between midnight and dark rainy mornings, when the sky is dark with a tint of blue. It clears my dusty soul...

J: I love the night! Makes me feel alive. Forgive me, I’m still a bit inebriated. My age must be catching up to me… 

M: Ah careful, what if those are your last words, Johann?

J: So be it. 

Why did you choose your piece of art or exhibition?

P: I am more of the techy one here, unlike Hans and Mike, those two are too consumed by their back pains. Though I have to admit, being on my phone in bed has not been great for my neck either...hahaha…. Anyways, I see myself in Chiao’s drawing, of course except that my room wouldn’t be full of silly posters and uncanny adornments. But the colours, the “vibe”, the little human figure, everything is so relatable, yet in perfect harmony. I aim to achieve that level contentment in life, and I want my readers to feel the same. 

J: I would take offense to Peter’s comment, but unfortunately I learned how to ride a bike just a few months ago. Aside from the unsolicited comments, I’ve been feeling absolutely wonderful after a summer trip to a very hot place (definitely not Hell), and am now undertaking an infestation at a quaint old house in Toronto, which as you can imagine, is a very large ordeal. I’m honoured. Living in a city really allows you to become acquainted with what humanity really tastes feels like, and I find that there is creativity everywhere. Just yesterday I saw a tasteful mural on a fence by the grocery store! It’s as if that mural could transport us to a different time: these thoughts are what reminded me of Kanghee Kim’s photographs.

M: Oh I’m all about adventure, sweetheart. As a man plagued by insomnia and burnout and Instagram, I… need to escape. We all need that. Especially when you have “friends” like Pete and Hans. 

The merging of art & architecture in New Circadia was simply sublime.When I went last year, each time was better than the last. The naps - bellissima! The soft pillow gear, the disco ball, the low-lights and hum, the recorded dreams all coalesced into this sanctuary. 

After all, I write about what I’m drawn to — and maybe my next piece will be about a certain interviewer. 

P: Of course the naps got you Mike. I agree with you that the New Circadia was indeed a much needed escape, simply the act of pushing through the heavy curtains resets my brain. Sometimes I don’t realize how tired I am until I lay in bed, and that was my experience with New Circadia. This brings me to think about our relationship with rest in everyday contemporary life, who decided to place such a heavy emphasis on productivity and efficiency. Do you live to work, or work to live?

J: Who doesn’t like a healthy dose of existential dread on a Monday morning? Although I haven’t personally visited the New Circadia exhibit, I have to say, I don’t find the idea of softness enticing. I prefer the hard cement of a Satanist church’s basement, or perhaps even the deteriorating wooden beams within an old Victorian house. But back to your question, Peter… I don’t know. I’ve been alive for as long as I can recall, but working for only the past two years.

M: That’s because no one would hire you, Hans. 

J: As an immortal being, I have no need for earthly pleasure and glib monetary transactions! Plus, McDonalds already had a supernatural being working for them.

M: Then pay us back for the bubble tea. 

J: If you want the money so badly, come and get it.

M: I’ll cut you in half, demon boy! 

*muffled shuffling sounds, a singular groan of pain followed by heavy breathing from opposite sides of the room*

P: Idiots. Hopefully, you’ll feel better in the morning. I’m not writing this blog by myself.