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@thisiswhatdelaneythinks
FYOS Event #3
I went to watch a concert by the UGA Jazz Band! As always, I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. They were lovely, and I recommend this, like any other University fine arts production or exhibit! I don't know what else to write, so this is a list of songs from that night: Who, Me? This Love of Mine. Song of my Father. In a Mellow Tone. Dreamsville. Blackbird. Tanga. Concerto for Cootie. and A Night in Tunisia.
FYOS Event #2
The Manhattan Short Film Festival viewing at Cine! A good bit of the class met downtown to watch a compilation of 10 short films. It was a really great experience, and although some of the films were not necessarily in my top five of the semester, I really enjoyed all of them. This event really got me more interested in short films and made me start to think about what film I might want to write.
FYOS Event #1
I went to see the production of "39 Steps" by the University Theater. The play was adapted from the novel by John Buchan, and the movie by Alfred Hitchcock. It combines wit and romance with murder and excitement! I thoroughly enjoyed the acting and overall production of it. The lighting was very professional and scene changes were smooth. I recommend it to anyone!
Dear Daniel,
Number one - You would definitely benefit from hearing your play read aloud.
The only thing that i really didn't go along with initially was the dialogue. Some parts of it just don't seem realistic, particularly with the old man.
Would that conversation actually happen this way? Would he really say that? Would he really respond that way? Sometimes, yes. it would go that way, but other times i'm not sure about it. Just think about that when youre looking at your play again (:
Also, does the old man have to be so obvious? I feel like the realization is handed to him. Should he have to work for it more? Does it have to be word for word like that from the old man? Or do you think the boy can figure some things out for himself?
Maybe the old man can hint at things, or just say one thing about God, not necessarily spell out everything for him. Less preach can sometimes be more suggestive and more beneficial.
Those are just suggestions (: i think you did a really great job with it. I like the idea for your story and i love what youre getting at with it.
PS - LOVE his car (:
Dear Maddie,
Hi guys,
I am pretty sure that you are supposed to reblog this with your critiques.
but that might not be correct.
I am a little dense when it comes to tumblr.
But, anyways, thank you for your critiques and ideas!
hey! (: so, your film is great. the idea definitely hits home and i really thought it was powerful. here are a few questions, thoughts, suggestions for you dear:
- Maybe try to give a little bit more of a reason for the violent beatings. i absolutely understand the crying and your purpose and idea behind it, but maybe try to make it a little clearer.
- Imagine never personally feeling that way and trying to describe it to somebody? Do you think everybody might feel anxiety in the same way you did, or maybe its a little different for everybody? just make that possibility available .. or like try to make it personal even for people who might have never felt that way before.
- What effect are you trying to suggest with the exhale? It it supposed to be relief? or something else. I know when you first described your idea that's sort of what you seemed to be intending. However, with saying that she is sorry again, i'm not sure that i get the feeling of relief or any less burdened. Just consider what you want the audience to feel at the end and use that to decide the final words. or does she need words? is the exhale sufficient?
Honestly, i like how the story is. But, i understand it on a personal level, and i just wanted to say that to help you think about what a random audience might feel like if they have never experienced that before? Great job Maddie (:
Dear Tabitha,
Hey guys. I’m posting this so everyone can reblog and critique me or whatever. If you don’t remember which one is mine, it was the one about the woman who is married but falls in love with a man she met in a dream, and he ends up being the one who hit her in the car accident, but she still loves him. Critique away!
Hey! okay, i love the idea for your film too. it's such an interesting idea. Here are a few questions I have for you:
- Do you think the doctor would handle the situation exactly like this?
- Does she wonder if Aaron might be a lover or an exhusband that she just doesn't remember?
- Would her husband question who Aaron is after hearing about him?
- What makes her first think that the memories she has with Aaron aren't real? Why did she question the doctor about them in the first place? Might the doctor mention it to get the idea into her head?
- I like how you ended it. Her reaction seems perfectly realistic and it's such a cliff hanger. I love it (:
So, i dont know the answers to any of those questions or really have opinions about them. But i think they might help you with dialogue. Honestly, that's the only thing i feel that could be changed. the plot seems fine to me! just try to make it as realistic as possible and imagine if she were you. What would make the most sense in realizing that her memories are dreams?
Dear Erin,
Make this better, please.
hey (: i really love the idea for your film. and there's obviously a great message behind it. i definitely like where you're going.
BUT since we're supposed to not just say nice things, here are a few things to consider:
- on the last line of page 2, the teachers tells kirby not to get distracted. i feel like this could be a little more subtle. personally, i have not ever heard a teacher yell this after a student running down the hallway. maybe be careful not to trip, but not really to focus.
- look at the dialogue between kirby and ben during the redo day. if that is how you like the conversation to go, it works. but, make sure it sounds realistic for their age!
- the only other thing i can really say is .. with some of the narration or implied story, im not sure how that will be showed in through just the actors without dialogue. think about turning some of the narration into speaking parts?
i don't know what else i can say, i really liked it!
Number One
The Crush was by far my favorite short film of the semester.
I know we are supposed to say what our favorites were, but this is just my number one by far.
I'm really glad you said it was sort of an overused idea. I couldn't put my finger on the reason that it seemed familiar. I don't understand why so many movies are made about this. How often do people really kill other people by complete accident in real life? I can't imagine that it's all too often. It doesn't seem that realistic, yet look at all of these films and books based on the idea!
abrilliantglow:
I would like to begin this post by saying that dogs are so damn clever. Personally, I have this belief that dogs have a sort of sixth sense that humans can’t pick up on. That is not to say that I think dogs are hyper-intelligent to the weird point or anything, but I do think that they read...
Doodlebug
I did NOT like this at all. The name of the film is Doodlebug, why is it so creepy!? Doodlebug should be a cute happy film about some nice sketches and some innocent person drawing on a paper. So much for that! I was too hopeful, I suppose.
I didn't like how the film was shot. The editing and the "special effects" didn't look realistic at all. Maybe that's just how the director wanted it to look ... but it definitely didn't float my boat. The black and white made it even more creepy.
What is he trying to kill? He's just beating at something on the ground. Oh wait! It's himself! That's not weird at all. He's in a white cinder block room. There's not much else in there, but it doesn't look like a jail cell or anything. Is it an insane asylum? I don't know, but hopefully I will never have to be in a place like it.
The inception sort of idea at the end is super weird. I don't understand how this guy can not be crazy if this is what's going through his head. I just can't get past how creepy all of it is. The writer is a jerk for naming it Doodlebug.
The Incident
I am torn about this film. On one hand, I can completely sympathize with the man's reaction. Although he could have saved himself a lot of anxiety by just calling an ambulance right away, that isn't a first instinct a lot of the time. On the other hand, what in the world are you doing buddy? Your girlfriend is so great and now you're turning into some crazy person. It's understandable that you would start to develop some sort of insanity after accidentally murdering somebody, but why would he try to kill this girl that obviously loves him? I felt really bad for him until then. And, I mean, I still did feel bad for him when he tried to suffocate her ... I just didn't sympathize, I guess.
I feel like the film might be tricking me into liking it. I love fall, and autumn leaves make me so happy. How can I hate a film that exemplifies the beauty of fall so well? This is the interesting part. In art and literature, the seasons are symbolic of life. Spring is birth and innocence, Summer is youth and beginning of corruption, Fall is sort of "over the hill" if you will and the ending of youth. Winter is death and sadness. Even though the man looked old, he was not yet in the "winter" of his life. He even seems younger than he looks because he wants to just ride around on a bike! The season accentuates the incident in the park as being an accident and as being out of place. Obviously, the poor main character didn't mean to kill this old guy. He just didn't want his brand new bike to get stolen. This is why I felt really bad for him.
I just feel bad for feeling bad for him. Why didn't he just call the police? He wouldn't have to go to jail if he explained the situation. It's not like he had hostile intentions or like the had anything against this man as a person. Why didn't he tell his girlfriend? He started to and she thought he was joking, but why couldn't he just tell her? Yeah, she might think he's crazy or think he's lying and end up dumping him ... but is worrying his life away about getting dumped worth suffering through this unintentional death by himself? The guilt is so much worse because he doesn't tell anyone. She seems like a pretty smart girl, she might have some pretty good ideas to help you get through it.
Moral of the story: your girlfriend is probably smarter than you are - you should trust her. (:
I was really struggling to find a connection between the two as well. Innocence is a very good suggestion. There are just so many differences between them that I had a hard time focusing on what was alike.
andre43:
I did not enjoy this film very much. It wasn’t awful, it simply didn’t appeal to me very much. I know the two films we watch each week are somehow interconnected, but I had a difficult time determining how this week. The only thing I could come up with was the idea of innocence.
In both of the...
Bean Cake
This film made me laugh. The poor boy transfers schools into a new 4th grade class. Everybody knows how mean kids can be to each other. He has huge buck teeth and doesn't have a uniform like all of the other students. Apparently, he and his mother are misinformed or just completely oblivious to the expectations that this school has laid out for him. Even if you have never transferred schools or moved classes, everyone in the world has been put in a situation in which they are alone or feel as though they are the odd one out. Whether you have been singled out or not doesn't make a lot of difference, but in this short .. it is the entire meaning.
This boy is singled out for being different - for liking bean cakes more than the emperor. All I have to say is, with a controlling guy like that in charge, why wouldn't you like your favorite meal more than him? The little boy finds joy and comfort in the bean cakes that his mother makes. This feeling is much the opposite when looking at his awful first day experience at this school.
Simply for looking around the room and answering a question incorrectly, our poor main character has to sit outside for the entire day. Not only has he just been scolded in front of the entire class, but then he is reprimanded by the teacher for sitting incorrectly. He should at least be sitting in the way of their culture. This film seemed to be about a cute story about a misfit boy and how he copes with his situation. Then, it is much more apparent that this film has much more political substance that originally anticipated.
Post-It Love
I feel like saying that I adored this film is extremely predictable, but there's no avoiding it. Everyone can relate to taking risks despite fear of rejection. My heart definitely was warmed a little after watching this short.
This film tells the story of two ordinary people working tedious desk jobs. I wouldn't go as far as to call it true love, but the man and woman definitely have a crush on each other. Everything is very bland in the office, which fits perfectly with the characters' seemingly average personalities. All of the shots are very methodical and precise. They are not abstract in the least at the beginning. The man and woman are both wearing very neutral tones and normal outfits. That makes the leap of faith and the vibrant sticky-notes stand out even more. There is no dialogue in the story, the two characters just exchange shy looks and smiles throughout it. They both seem timid and what better way to express your feelings than through office supplies!? I loved how they mirrored each other at the beginning and did the exact same thing the entire time.
What starts as a simple, cute gesture of putting post-its in the shape of a smiley turns into a full blown post-it note love war. If that has any meaning whatsoever. After she took the risk to leave him a folder containing a smiley face the frames slowly became more and more unexpected and colorful. Slowly, the post-it pictures become more and more elaborate and creative, until the man pulls out all of the stops. He covers an entire wall with them in the shape of their faces and hearts surrounding them. The girl seems to be on her way to doing something very similar, because her arms are full of new packs when she walks up to see him adding on the finishing touches.
A perfect present-day love story.
I just really liked this ... except for the last second.
ernxxx:
It seems that a lot of us really liked this film and I will agree I did like it. Somewhere in between like and love I would say. I think the reason I was so drawn to this film is because this is the first character that I can substantially relate to. I spent my entire summer working eight hour...
I love what you said about the grocery store being a common place for everyone. All different shapes and sizes of women go to the store for food. That is not really accurately desipcted in the sort, but I really love the idea that he finds beauty in all of them to pass the time.
I also really liked youre idea about the title. He's benefiting artistically by working there, even if the job is terrible and the work is dull. He is getting cash back because he gains profit in ways other than just money. Trading his time for money is not the only reason he keeps his job, he also trades his time for art and beauty.
Cashback
The film opens with an image that easily could have been the cliche shot used in hospital scenes when a person hanging on to life is being brought into the emergency room. The beeping of the checkout line sounds as if it might be the heart monitor of the person being rushed in for help. The only problem, it's kind of dingy and it's not sparkling white. Oh wait, it's a grocery store. More particularly, night shift. But really ... night shift and death are basically the same thing.
The main character is miserable at his shitty job. That's really the story line here. How does he cope with it, and how do the rest of his coworkers cope with it? I can definitely relate. "Time is the enemy" on night shift, and the only way to get through is by manipulating something. There is the person who manipulates by avoiding thoughts of time all together, the person who manipulates by forcing his suffering upon others in order to avoid coping with it, the person who manipulates by avoiding work with humor, and the person who manipulates by simply not thinking about the work.
Our main character copes with trading his time (which is an extremely interesting idea) by freezing it. While standing on isle 13, obviously not a good sign, the music is very fast. Thankfully it changes from fastforward with carnival like music playing to freezing completely. There is silence for a moment for the audience to grasp the pause, and then a peaceful piano starts to play. The only person moving now is the main character, and we realize that the moment is very personal. He is the only one in this frozen world, but we can see into it now. This is when the purpose of the film changes. Instead of focusing just on time, it focuses on the appreciation of beauty and the beauty of art. I love art and notice beauty in obscure things. It was strange to me that I could connect with him on a deep level even though we were looking at two completely different things. It was really interesting to have the female body portrayed as a work of art. Although a lot of the time men conclude that they "appreciate" women's bodies, they don't. They simply just appreciate what they can get out of it, which is more like appreciating their own bodies. Our main character is actually mesmerized by the beauty of this form of art, and I really liked the film because of this.
