ugly keysmashes

uhhh

[pidgefudge]

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[illyadolatry]

cuddlejob from a girl with huge affections

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[pjackk]

Ok so apparently the girls went out for tinis and bruschetta without me

[glavilio]

*describing some learned fellow i'm acquainted with* he's very articulate *remembers when he crossed me* i mean verbose

[misophonie]

i'm afraid the phrase "touch my wee wee touch my fucking wee wee!" has become a consistent part of my internal monologue vocabulary

[misophonie]

he was just very real about it

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[gingehh]

reverse solipsism: everyone else has a vibrant interior life but I'm just a passive observer

[hbmmaster]

cyberpunk setting where instead of god dammit they say mod bannit

[kushblazer666]

nothing pisses me off more than a proud “no msg!” label on something. shut up you dumb bitch put the msg back in there so it tastes good. idiot

[sailermoon]

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

[noknowshame]

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[despazito]

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎