5 Ways to Approach Your Toxic Parents
When people recover from trauma, they often separate themselves from the person who caused it. But, what about recovering from being traumatized by your parents, the people you still see? Whether you still live with your toxic parents or visit them during the holidays, we understand that there’s no way to take back the pain, fears, or hellish nightmares you’ve experienced. That’s what makes it so hard, right? That despite everything that happened, somehow you’re still involved. Maybe it’s time to look beyond the fires of destruction for an exit—one you can find together. Psych2Go shares with you 5 ways to approach your toxic parents:
4. Just hold them.
Your parents are flawed just like any of us, and you know it better than anyone else because their actions affect you every day. It’s funny—how layered people can be. There’s a fusion of sadness, longing, and disappointment baked into each of us. Some days, your parents may show their fiery, aggressive, my-way-or-the-highway side. It upsets you when they don’t listen to your input or give you room to explore who you want to be. You become aggravated, scared, and frustrated. But as you step into the kitchen for a glass of water and pass their bedroom on the way, you can hear their muffled crying. How is it that someone can be so angry and violent one minute, but fragile and shaky the next?
Sometimes, we don’t want words, because language can fail us. I am familiar with that failure everyday when language barriers are hard to break between my parents and I. So when it hurts too much to say anything, don’t say anything at all. Reach out and hold their hand. Hug them. Hold them when they’re bending over their bed, sobbing and breaking. This isn’t the end. Break together until there’s nothing left to break anymore, and then…
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***I wanted to take the leap after one of our dear readers asked for our help. This comes straight from the heart—a place of terrible memories that also co-exists with the room I enter for healing. I thank each and every one of you for stepping into that room with me. ♥
