So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. A long time ago now, I posted talking about how self harm is so romanticised on here. I got a lot of hate from that post; fair enough I expected it. Eventually tumblr removed the post, but there’s still some traces of it here and there.
I’m not here to apologise for the things I said, I’m here to apologise for the way that I said them. I was 22 (I think) that’s 3 years ago now, I’d like to think I now think about the way that things come out of my mouth or in this case; through my fingers onto my keyboard. I’m still blunt af and extremely opinionated, I’m arrogant, self righteous and quite frankly a bit of a dick. But here’s my explanation:
As a child I was severely bullied, I grew up with a single mother (who is great) and no friends. My father figure was my grandad, my nan was amazing, and I lost them both in my early teens. A lot of people in my family have/had problems, my self included. My cousin actually committed suicide, my best friend self harmed for a long time, I’m currently helping a young transgender boy who is having some issues and I myself (as much as I denied it) self harmed in the form of punching walls when I was 19/20.
None of this is particularly relevant but it should give you some context on my opinion, suicide and self harm is selfish. Through all the times I considered throwing myself off the highest building in town or sat and stared at my bleeding hands, I realised I could never be as sad as the people who love me would be if I took my life. I understand, I really do. A lot of people told me to ‘go die’ and called me disrespectful, and yes; a lot of what I said was disrespectful. But it was honesty at the end of the day, and as I repeated over and over when I received all the hate, my post was never aimed at those with serious problems, purely those that romanticised cutting and thought it would make a good tumblr picture for the attention, and made those with serious problems look like attention seekers too even though they have real issues and genuine problems. This is all purely my opinion and no one need be offended by it.
I feel a little hypocritical as one of my main issues before was that young teens were using tumblr as a ‘diary’ and my concern was that soooo many people can see this website and see your posts just by typing in your name, and now I feel like I’ve divulged some of my own personal information on here too, but all for the greater good I guess.
On the Internet, it’s hard to figure out what people are really about. I’m not going to sit here and say I’m a perfect person, but I’m pretty sure I have the best intentions at heart. I think what people find the most difficulty with is reading between the lines sometimes, and I’m sorry to those that I offended and those that felt I disrespected them.
I hope nobody minds the tags I’ve used for this post, I just wanted people who may have been offended by my original post a couple of years ago to see this, thought it may be the easiest way.
Peace.
