Nerd Mania

Hi. My name is Rita. I live in Las Vegas where people often ask the question "Do you live in a hotel?" To which I always reply "yes" because if you think everyone who lives in Las Vegas lives in a hotel, well, you are an idiotic mozzarella stick. Thank you.

[gaytog]

[vulcat]

I’M SOBBING I WAS TAKING A PHOTO OF A TOOTHBRUSH FOR SCHOOL AND IT LOOKS SO SAD

[vulcat]

[jontronshat-deactivated20150806]

4 word horror story

“I heard my wife knock on the bathroom door, but then I remembered…. our bathroom doesn’t have a door”

[imhangingwhataboutyou]

I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.

[jontronshat-deactivated20150806]

can’t afford door.. the horror here is the realities of life

[pajamazam]

So what fuck was your wife knocking on

[jontronshat-deactivated20150806]

this dick

[mitochondrionion]

It’s not even 4 words???

[froggos]

Sonic GO:

run

[gearholder]

[badjokesbyjeff]

A man picks up a hitchhiker on the side of the road

The hitchhiker says, “ I’m surprised you picked me up. I could’ve been a serial killer.”

The driver responded, “The chance of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical.”

[tiktokmuseum]

[badjokesbyjeff]

A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began…

…One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so the following day and the day after that, until finally the retiree decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street.

Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.”

The boys were more than happy and continued to bang the bins every day on their walk home.

After a week, the old man walked out and greeted the kids again. However this time, he didn’t have a smile on his face.

“This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income.” he told them. “I’m going to have to cut it down to 50¢ a day to keep you kids banging the bins.” The kids were obviously unimpressed but they accepted the reduction in payment and continued their afternoon activities.

A few days later, the man approached them again. "Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my retirement checks yet so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25¢ to bang on the bins. Will that be okay?”

“That’s it!?” the ‘drum leader’ exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time beating these around for 25¢ a day, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!”

And the man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days…

[petfinder-names]

[halflifealyx]

Return of the king.....................

[iwilltryalittlearter]

⚽️

[iwilltryalittlearter]

I can’t believe this got to 20k notes. Is there something about this that resonates with people on some level?

[jolly-ob-saint-nixilis]

Round

[terriblyindignantrabbit]

a few days ago bf told me that a couple years ago when he played counterstrike he would respond to dudes getting angry and aggressive and hostile by saying “a kissaroo from me to you” in a slightly goofy friendly voice sort of like the voice you’d associate with a dog muppet.  he said they would absolutely lose their shit every time, insisting things like “i dont want a kissaroo from you!  only tall blonde girls!”.  they always said kissaroo.  i cant stop thinking about this

[animatedtext]

[iswearimnotnaked-deactivated201]

when ur eating food and your pet starts being nice

[quickweaves]

[probablybadrpgideas]

Fighter with Proficiency: Cooking. 

 They serve paincakes

[planetclaires-deactivated202404]

pirating movies by seeing them in tumblr gifs and basing my own story around them

[rabbitrah]

that's how medieval peasants were supposed to use the stained glass windows to teach themselves bible stories when church was exclusively in latin

[dankmemeuniversity]

[sonypraystation]

im so fucking hungry rn

[kermitlesbian]

this is thanos’s skinny cousin thinos

[sunfortune]

Mariah kill this clown

[zizibutik]

Avengers 4: Skinnfinity War

[sunfortune]

thank you

[jlmoviegirl92]

what makes you think mariah would be powerful enough to defeat thanos

[c-bassmeow]

What a silly question she would destroy his ass. She wouldn’t even break a sweat