[sirfrogsworth]

It’s admirable they are at least giving the flies a fighting chance. 

[danieljradcliffe]

TV Meme  » [6/10] Shows

I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.

[diarygirls]

everyone who writes their ‘7’s with a little dash through them had a conscious moment of truth where they actively chose to write ‘7’ in that way and never stopped doing it like if you can’t clearly recall that fateful decision wyd

[bardstardish]

so we have these cookie jars that sit on top of the cupboard right. we’ve had them for years. you can record yourself saying something so when you take the lid off you it will make a noise so you can hear if someone is stealing your cookies or something anyway anyway we have 3 of them. a pig, a cow, and an owl. now i was left alone one day. mum and dad at work, my brother at school and my sister at her boyfriends house. so i had a thought. what if i recorded myself screaming? so i did. in all 3 of them. all 3 different screams too. one was an excited shriek, one was a terrified scream, and one was a long shout. these cookie jars recorded up to 15 seconds, so i took FULL ADVANTAGE of that. now…here’s the thing…i did that almost 3 years ago. and these cookie jars have been sitting on top of the cupboard collecting dust.

until today.

mum’s painting the kitchen, so she had to take everything off the top of the cupboard. and uh…you know how battery powered things…start dying? they……slowly run out of juice? she asked me to check inside one of the jars. the pig, to be exact. and…the pig was the terrified scream. i unsuspectingly opened the jar and as the lid came off the jar, i remembered what i did. but i didn’t remember in time, because in that next second, a fucking demon cry sounded from this Almost Dead Battery Powered Pig Cookie Jar. it was a sound i never want to hear again. everyone ran into the kitchen to see what that god awful sound was and i just stood there, holding this satanic wailing pig. i shut my eyes, and waited the full 15 seconds, until it was silent, before turning to my mum and handed her the pig, and then leaving the kitchen.

i’ll admit i’ve done some dumb things in my life, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the sound i heard today.

[tallglassofchickennugget]

Visit Original Link

As relaxing as I find this, I also find it oddly ominous and terrifying. 

like, this is probably what you hear before you die???

[770rd]

[lycheeb]

[bob-belcher]

[bardbreakfast]

I could have a cuter room if I wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

Me: Small but knowing

[xtec]

you don’t be knowing what the top shelf looks like

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

[constablebootyduty]

Fixed

[rupismellsalot-deactivated20140]

[insomniac-arrest]

why were dinosaurs ‘boys culture’ in elementary?? why did we designate the giant extinct reptiles for one specific gender, what the fuck

why were horses for girls, both these creatures are equally terrifying and yet we write Pony Detective books for girls and give plastic toy dinos to boys

why do we do this, why are we like this, why were dinosaurs for boys smh

[charlesoberonn]

It’s time to stop segregating nature by gender. When the dinosaurs come back they’re gonna kill us all equally and indiscriminately anyways.

[insomniac-arrest]

equal opportunity carnage

[reddcherry]

[1o9]

[cuntbeetle-moved]

party at my house with all my friends

[orchidvioletindigo]

A black cat crossing your path is actually good luck on account of you get to see a cat

[viking-archer-official]

me in real life: we need to conserve and keep our planet alive, corporations must stop destroying the environment

me playing any game where i harvest resources:

[gothgfs]

IM FUCKIGNS HITTING MYSELF 

[gothgfs]

tag urself im the girl recording in the front row