possible

[thoughnotlikely]

if you can’t write a poem

that changes how computers work

and you can’t write a computer

that changes how poems work

why don’t we set both aside

and find something else to do?

[thoughnotlikely]

cus ive got a love like a garbage truck that comes only once a week

you can count on me

but i can’t be your everything

[thoughnotlikely]

comment section on mogwai take me somewhere nice

or don’t take me anywhere at all 

i’ll be fine either way

well, i won’t be okay

but i’ll be, okay

and you’ll be

and that’s okay

i hope you are smiling

[thoughnotlikely]

She blew the last kiss of wine from her glass into her lips like a grenade in a foxhole. The shrapnel splashed across her cheek, tearing skin from muscle and leaving her skull exposed. She was a gorgeous skeleton. I stumbled, first with words; my feet soon followed. A ghost flickered in the candlelight and collapsed to nothingness with her shrieking laugh. "I'm not... not drunk," I apologized, "just a littal bit uneeebriated." Her petite jawbone closed into a serious grimace. She didn't speak. I stammered out a sonnet about her beauty, my affection, and how i wanted to fuck her. My rhyme scheme was off. I woke up next to the couch in the morning with shells going off in my head. Next to me was a pile of bones.

[thoughnotlikely]

all the plainclothes cops on this block are lost they're new to the beat and slow on their feet so the pushers are having a heyday and the users are breaking the bank and my mom called me to see how i'm doin i didn't know so i said good we're all good, it's all okay that's all we say these days

(capo 4 g2 to g)too polite for the truth not close enough to lie (instrumental weedleweeweeyyyy break) all the bars fill up on holidays we're celebrating the loss of a perfect day all the teachers preach and all the sinners pray but we all end up in the dirt what else can we say? with my eyes closed shut smoke in my lungs til i'm bleeding and all the city lights look like satellites transmission fading and i love my girl though she is not mine she will be someday i'm just waiting with my fingers crossed in the meantime i try to keep my heart in the dark it gets lonely in the cold spittin' shapes on the sidewalk just one more hour to kill we're making boredom seem like he's happy and in love all the plainclothes cops on this block are trained turning pushers to slaves and they're gunning for me next.

[thoughnotlikely]

and it's the days when i don't feel anything that i feel you most or, your absence, beating nothings in my chest.

[thoughnotlikely]

old works

somewhere between sleep and a pointless stumbling of a source of survival, we find the lone stroll walking aimlessly through convenience the store will be closing in ten minutes, please make your way towards the register because we aren't to blame for your self-doubt, we just encourage it market it feed it clothe it bathe, & dirty it 's a shame we left the remote at home otherwise we'd all turn ourselves off or at least get lost somewhere in between last night's change and a thrift store cushion. making bob dylan comparable with god to the grocery store clerk is all i have to frame as of late because that picture of you in the autumn fog laughing solemny as if to shake me off doesn't match my tired eyes, waiting bills, and a seven month old 'new direction' which i guess was anywhere but here. and it's worse knowing that i completely understand and every night instead of wishing you were back i wish i was you, escaped.

[thoughnotlikely]

12/29/17

I need to get a notebook and start journaling again. If nothing else it gets the words out where no one else has to read them.

I say dumb things and I do dumb things. Smartest thing I can do is realize that and realize the way I’m holding myself back. I need therapy for the ways I’ve screwed up and the ways I’ve been screwed up. I need financial stability and planning so I can get out of debt and start saving. I need to not rely on “getting my mind off things” for happiness via weed and / or booze or endless mindless video games. Moderation is key.

[thoughnotlikely]

my whole life i’ve been running in place

trying to get away from myself

[thoughnotlikely]

lemonade pink float cotton candy stream

let em paint free throws propped against the beam

when they make three notes drop the lead unseen

now and later scheme poked holy water dreams 

pop the bubble on the double out of sight and into trouble - last the second lap to leave the runner on her last in rubble - run without a notion while you pause without a glance - if you ever last a second longer you will understand - that the notion is a pardon for the few among us damned - but the ocean leaves the water salty tears are in demand - while the feeling has been cultivated made into a brand - you can wear your sense of fashion  hold hope inside your hand - when you open up your eyes you’ll find  hope was all you had

now your whole entire life you drank water from a bag?

sit there at the front of class pretending it’s the back?

give yourself allowance until your checks go bad?

somethin somethin else that’ll make you mad

[thoughnotlikely]

g hsape 6 -4 g4-3

open up to what you thought you had discarded

lift yourself alone unbruised and yet unguarded

I had a long vacation

make somebody pay the price for what’s inflated

sell your body short and numb but not sedated

I had a long vacation

my only example of a second coming

is morning after sheets in dreams I just start running

I had a long vacation

made you out to be a martyr on your own terms

sacrifice the greater cause for the greater good

I had a long vacation

there I stayed.

I had a long vacation

there, I stayed.

[thoughnotlikely]

dm am em g6

hold out your coffered circles

caught a bully on the news

ask us how often are you

I’ve become unglued

but “not like this” she said

she’s got it in her head

that everybody loves her too

she’s not a super freak

she’s not a jesus sheet

she’s not a ghost inside your room

she’s not a dial tone

she’s not a chapel stone

she’s not a drunken moan of truth

she’s painting my name out to be some sort of curse

her dialect is a natural threat

for an unmade bed and a well-tided ocean’s view

and so are you

take down my insurrections

I’ve been running loose

i am running out of walking shoes

walking all over you

but “not like this” she said

she’s got a second bed

made up just for two

she took it from my book,

wrote her a letter took

all the letters from the news

it’s not a ransom note

it’s not a dial tone

it’s not a fiction sown as truth

wake up someone new

you wish you could wake up someone new

nobody’s gonna change (x2)

unless they have to, and they don’t have to

they’ve got their minds to make

the same mistakes

the laughing circles drew

a square for you

nobody’s gonna change (x4)

[thoughnotlikely]

cosine

lyrics:

repose - closed out get drunk on wine sour grapes stuck in mouth scoured for change with no fine fees what you can afford and not a penny more a penny saved is a copper urn feel the skin turn to ash as it burns seems akin to burnt cash in a stock car pile-up sponsors on the side watching stocks start to pile up clung to the wrong rung hit every step on the way to the bottom what's the next move when motions already started who's the next to lose when you've already been discarded how'd you heart get bruised when you keep it so guarded shout it out now - no longer shrouded in doubt figured out what you can live with and what you can't live without now you've been livin like living's what you're all about but you can't figure out what  living's all about you should ask yourself in five years if you've figured it out you should remind yourself in five beers to get this shit out write it down on a bar napkin ketchup colored soldiers in a civil war re-enactment politely asked to keep it civil but you'd already acted tell yourself that old mantra about once you've started but it didn't end with gettin kicked out the bar, did it gutterless and homebound, drunk swerve, nearly departed askin yourself at home now who's really in charge is it the gas pedal, the bartender, the limit on your credit card the cigarette burns on your forearm you're sick of this world and its four arms two holding you up and two bringing you down constant you're afraid of loose consonants constituating  loops on used nonsense like who's borrowed the truth and who's made like a tree and spruced it up double dog ya made to bark on this double dutch watch out, jump kid! the rope swings for your young limbs! but you know that when it's done you'll mend cus time loops constant all over again next time use concepts that don't require an end

[thoughnotlikely]

God Is A Single Parent

If you were ever to die I'd be beside myself and I'd look myself in the eye, and I probably wouldn't know what to say. You never liked my mouth when it opened and spewed several nothings, in the hopes of recreating something. If you would ever stop crying I could turn up the music and drown, silence included (you're not different). If I could ever make sense to you, dad I'd try to sing along what is this new song you have been singing? And I'll pretend to fake a smile and keep on teething like a newborn getting cold in the womb. But at least I know you're always there and I never was truly cold, it was just an act to keep you guessing.

[thoughnotlikely]

Nero’s Visitation

Good morning black skies Wake me without tripwires And bleed me, touch me dry

Good morning black skies Begin to humble me again as Gehenna comes down

FAR from left or right and torture an innocent mind FLEE on Samhain's rituals they'll bow down anyways

But light pierces, drains me! What is this fiercly drawn figure... a throwback to my youth. give up the fight I am not who you say I will become. throw down your gauntlet Your blackened eyes undo my soul. Hearken to my commands You will never control, You... suffer... forever forever

Good night to sun kissed eyes I'll miss you when you're gone. Continue on in reverence of all that's dead of all I've become.

[thoughnotlikely]

Nautical

Blasphemed, art is love Arguments will always fly Worn out wings, tainted flocks You said yourself... you're much too shy. Sparkle now kaleidoscope The night is middle-aged And I'm in denial, are we on trial here? Blame now the artist He's in love with himself He's got anchored ideas of life on a supermarket shelf And kill all the insects! They're making us bleed, Bleeding like Victim, On a cross-cultured steed. And under the starscape We'll fall in love with hands As we hold on for ever I'm lost in your trance.

[thoughnotlikely]

violation intrepid

god shames masks on us

calls it wondrous 

wonder when it busts

who will fall on trust

if all I’ve learned from love

is how to get enough

I should ask for more

than what I can afford

wallet sits me down

says “when you’re not around

I’ve been stepping out 

you’re never around”

I will wear this mask

and if anyone should ask

who I’m supposed to be

god will set me free