just there.

mostly posting lyrics i like atm.

[thought-vomits]

She

Gorgeous, baby you're gorgeous I just wanna drag your lifeless body to the forest And fornicate with it But that's because I'm in love with you, cunt

[thought-vomits]

Can’t Get Over You

Tell me more, I got a box cutter with your name on it

[thought-vomits]

Demons

The demons told me everything They whisper in the night  This is not a threat, I promise  I promise This is not a threat, I promise It's a warning, baby, I just want you to know

[thought-vomits]

thoughts over da years

Jul 17 2020

Everything is so depressing. Being alive makes me angry. I’m just always angry. I don’t enjoy anything. I feel like I dont actually like doing any of the things I “like” doing. Everything feels pointless. It’s hard to care about anything. I hate work, I don’t want to go. Everything is so stupid. I dont understand how people can say they had a good day.

“I figured I’d just have to accept that some people were born with a proclivity for happiness and fulfillment, and I could never be one of them.”

May 12 2020

What is the point of any of this? Is being happy worth being alive? I’m so lonely. I don’t want to live, I dont enjoy anything Im always stressed I just dont care or want to do anything.

I feel a lot of hatred right now. Do I feel the hatred and accept it or push it away because I dont have any reason to be hatefull?

I feel like I fucked up my life by not finishing college and working on the friendships I had then. I feel like I have nothing now and I ruin every decent relationship I get into. I’m the reason for my own unhappiness. But another person doesn’t complete you. Is it possible to be happy when you’re so alone?

Been walking so so slowly on my walks I have no motivation.

March 29 2020

bad qualities about myself:

-unforgiving

-dont believe apologies

-dont think people that have hurt me have feelings and can be hurt themselves

-dont think others have empathy

-lack confidence

-no self esteem

-needy, clingy, sad, depressed, no fun to be around

Jan 22 2020

Unhappy with myself. In episode and feeling bad about myself. Feel ugly. Hate my teeth. Hate my hygiene. I’m falling apart literally.

June 27 2017

I don’t like living. I don’t get it. I don’t understand how to make my day good or enjoy my day.

March 17 2017

Sometimes I feel like I’m 2 completely different people. The person that I show to people and the person who I am when I’m alone and odn’t have to put off a certain image. Image being happy and upbeat etc

March 3 2017

Just yesterday someone mentioned to me how happy I always am and smiling... and I know I do smile a lot, it’s easy to make me smile, but I don’t really feel happy. I feel like the person who most people see isn’t who I really am.

[thought-vomits]

Yeah Right

I'ma fuck up my life We gon' party all night She don't care if I die

Yeah, right, yeah, right Yeah, I bet you won't cry Yeah, I bet you won't try But you know I don't mind But you know I don't mind

[thought-vomits]

Slow Dancing In The Dark

When I'm around slow dancing in the dark Don't follow me, you'll end up in my arms You done made up your mind I don't need no more signs Can you? Can you? Give me reasons we should be complete You should be with him, I can't compete You looked at me like I was someone else, oh well Can't you see?  I don't wanna slow dance  In the dark, dark

[thought-vomits]

Idontwannaspeakagain

I don't ever wanna speak again I'd rather see the end than be where we began

[thought-vomits]

16 Lines

Now she wonder why do I lie I can't tell my wrongs from my rights

[thought-vomits]

Romeo and Juliet

How romantic Nothing like getting drunk and getting manic On a mother fucking Monday I-I brush the bangs behind her lovely little ear As she describes in detail how the end is truly near, wow And I'm sure that we can do this for forever Or until we drink the poison, cause she sees some cloudy weather

[thought-vomits]

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face The kind you'd find on someone that could save If they don't put me away Well, it'll be a miracle

[thought-vomits]

Green Eyes

Green eyes, I'd run away with you Green eyes, 'cause I'm a fool I try running away

I'm just not fast enough I'm just not fast enough

My, my own friends Hate my guts So what? Who gives a fuck?

[thought-vomits]

I’m Not Okay (I Promise)

I held you close as we both shook For the last time, take a good hard look

I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out

[thought-vomits]

The Last Something That Meant Anything

Well, I thought that we could sit around and talk for hours About things I couldn't say to you And things that we could never do, and This conversation has had no face When the words take days you can re-write and erase anything

_

I'll be okay Is that what you want me to say It's called break-up 'Cause it's broken

[thought-vomits]

Lullabies

Dead like a candle you burned out; Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words. Scream to be heard, like you needed any more attention; Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

[thought-vomits]

See You In Vancouver

this is remembering the last time we touched, the last time we spoke, words ricocheting off empty tables

[thought-vomits]

Damaged Goods

But when I leaned in close to you, you Kissed your fear instead of me

_

“You had your chance, boy, I tried."

_

Now at the end of every day I lie awake at night and wait To feel the wires of my brain Get cut and quietly rearranged

[thought-vomits]

Creve Couer

Sometimes you drive a car and lose control Into poles, hold me closely I don't think you should love me

_

She holds her breath all day and fucking gasps for air at night She promised she would love me, but only 'til the morning time